Department of Redundancy Department

by Annette Lyon

We all know that a rough draft is needs revisions. (That's why it's called rough, right?)

One area of revision that seems to elude many beginning writers is something that is quite easily fixed when it's pointed out to them.

So today, I'm talking about a few of those, most of which have some element of unneeded repetition (that alone is redundant).

Dead wood.

Watch for words that don't have a strong enough job and might as well be cut.

It's easy to slip in dead wood when you forget that your own voice can actually be a good thing, that there's no reason to create an elevated tone.

Elevated tones quite often slip into wordy and redundant passages that have more padding than substance because the writer thinks in the early stages that they sound cool. While the following example is made up, I see this kind of thing frequently:

They walked by foot until they came to a land known by the people living in the city of Bordon as Bordon City.

(Doesn't walking imply on foot? And why not have them simply walk to Bordon City? Because saying it's "known as the city of . . ." sounds cooler? Bleh.)

Cut that dead wood. Read aloud and mercilessly yank entire paragraphs if they're aren't pulling their weight. Rewrite so they're strong, they're purposeful, and they aren't repetitive.

Even a word or two can be redundant, like "the true fact" (facts by definition are true) or "the famous celebrity" (again, by definition, a celebrity IS famous). Those words are empty. Keep an eye out for small phrases like those that can slip through.

(Your delete key really can be your friend.)

The Um, Duh Factor

As with "walking on foot," avoid adding details that are obvious.

Seeing the sight,

(As opposed to what, seeing the taste? Also: he heard the sound and other variations.)

I noticed an open door to my left. The door was slightly ajar.

(We've already established that the door's as open.)

She nodded her head.

(I don't think there's anything else she can nod besides her head.)

He blinked his eyes.

(Unless he's some freak alien, eyes are the only thing he can blink. Just say he blinked.)

Repeated Sentence Structures . . . Especially Bad Ones

Be careful not to have the same sentence structure for too many sentences. Shake things up a bit. Intense passages do well with short, snappy sentences, while long ones will bog down the pace. On the flip side, when you're focused on an relationship or other emotional (but not anxious) moment, longer sentences can give a different feel. Experiment and play!

A commonly used structure is subject + action + object/preposition/other, such as:

Sam ate the apple on the porch.

Julie sat beside Sam.

Sam didn't share the apple with Julie.

Boring, no?

So shake it up. Vary the length of sentences, the order things are shared in.

NOTE: Try to keep events in chronological order so the reader can experience and feel them with the character. If you describe a character's reaction to an event before we learn of it, we can't sympathize.

For example, DON'T do this:

She gasped and screamed, feeling like her lungs were ready to burst when she saw the dead body.

Let us SEE the dead body first. Show it. Then we'll gasp and scream right along with your character. It's hard to evoke emotions in your reader when they don't know why they're supposed to feel a certain way.

-ING!

One common (and horribly awkward) way of structuring a sentence is using a gerund phrase at the beginning. (Using an -ING verb phrase).

I won't say to NEVER use this structure, because it can work. But please, please, please, don't rely on it. Keep the use to a minimum and for a specific feel.

Here's what I mean:

Looking at the door, she reached for the knob. Opening the door, she saw who was on the other side. Smiling, she greeted the UPS man.

Why -ING openings don't usually work:

• For starters, English doesn't sound natural like this. If your story doesn't sound natural to the reader, they'll put it down and find something else that does sound real.
• It's easy to inadvertently describe two actions that you cannot do simultaneously. This pulls the reader right out because the structure implies that both are happening at the same time. ("Stepping out of the shower and grabbing her robe, she answered the door." Really? I bet the person on the other side got an eyeful.)
• Finally, this structure simply looks amateurish. (What, you couldn't find a more powerful way of saying it? You had to rely on an -ING phrase? A hundred times?)

As usual, don't worry too much about these things in the drafting stage. Let your creative brain have fun in its sandbox. These are issues to address when playtime is over and the editor hat comes out of the drawer.

Your work really will outshine much of what's out there if you can avoid repeating yourself and saying the same thing more than once. Like being redundant Again and again. :-D

Becoming Emotionally Involved

By Julie Wright

Some people tell me they don’t read fiction because they get nothing out of it, but if they aren’t getting anything out of it, they aren’t reading the right books. I read for the emotional experience and there is lots of emotion to be found in fiction—at least . . . there is lots of emotion to be found in good fiction.

The emotion readers get from a book (and this absolutely goes for non-fiction as well) is what stays with them, and is the most important byproduct of your writing. It is what will keep them looking for your books. If your readers don't feel much of anything, that lack of emotion will make them forget you. They definitely won’t be looking for your next book, and they definitely won’t be recommending your book to anyone else. Ultimately readers have to care.

My good friend and mentor Jeff Savage, teaches that you should always come to the scene late and leave the scene early. So basically he’s saying you should come to the scene when there is some action going on. Action doesn’t necessarily mean a fight scene or a battle, action means your characters are doing something. Your opening scene needs to introduce characters and make us care about them. you do not want your readers thinking, "And why do I care about this?"

It's a good idea for writers to pay attention to the emotion they want the readers to feel. what do you want the reader to feel in the beginning? What do you want them to feel for each specific scene? what do you want them to feel when they shut your book at the very end?

My best advice to authors looking to infuse emotion into their writing is to write from the heart. Write what you are passionate about. If you aren’t passionate about your story, you end up with a manuscript that lacks emotion, or is dissatisfying because of unfulfilled emotion, or the wrong emotion. Write from the heart.

If you are madly in love with your hero, your reader will be too. If you really hate your antagonist, your reader will too. If you have a hard time shutting out the lights to go to bed after a night of writing because you know those monsters in your pages are looking for a way out, your reader will too.

Because the question you must ask yourself, as a writer, is: Why do I care? And if you find you don’t, your reader doesn’t either.

Agent Tips from Storymakers 2010

by Heather Moore

Laura Rennert & Heather Moore

Over the weekend, I attended the Storymakers Conference in Provo, Utah, with my fellow editors and 450 other writers.

I was lucky to host Laura Rennert, a talented agent with Andrea Brown Literary Agency. She had great advice, along with agent, Nephele Tempest, of The Knight Agency (it was fun learning to pronounce Nephele's name and we all agreed she should be an actress with such a fine stage name--Neh feh lee). Both agents were friendly and outgoing women who were simply a delight to hang around with.

I think the most interesting thing about listening to an agent speak is learning what their preferences are. Most of their advice is the same across the board. Bottom line, they are looking for good writers with compelling stories.

Nephele Tempest told us to not be afraid when pitching to agents--they are just people who love books and are fortunate to work in an industry they love.

I liked that. I love books and therefore, it already gives us writers a lot in common with agents.

Laura Rennert made a point of saying that publishing contracts vary by quite a large degree. But she told us not to get caught up in the number or the size of the publishing house. She said that the books she represents will find the right home for that particular book. She also talked about fine-tuning your craft in her workshop. Out of the criteria that she considers when reading a submission, she said that voice is the hardest thing to edit. And her advice on finding the right voice for your work? Write. A Lot.

Conference Tips

by Annette Lyon

The entire Precision Editor Group staff will be at a writers conference this weekend as presenters. We love participating, both as speakers as well as attendees.

Conferences are a great place to do lots of things:

Learn the craft.

The first conference I attended was nearly 14 years ago. In that time, I've had the chance to listen to some amazing (and, okay, some less-than-stellar) speakers. I know a lot about writing, but I can always learn more. I attended a friend's class a few years ago simply to support her. While most of the workshop was a review for me, I still learned . . . and came away with some fantastic ideas for developing my characters further. There's always a nugget to be learned, regardless of how "good" you are.

Learn the industry.

I recall attending a conference where the visiting agent was getting questions that I thought were elementary. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that six years prior, I hadn't known the answers to those very questions. I'd come a long way!

Meet other Writers.

Some of the people who are now my best friends are those I met through conferences and other writing networks. Writing is a rather solitary profession; it's just you and your keyboard. I'm still amazed at the positive impact that a strong support network of friends who GET what being a writer means (and have been there, done that) can be.

Meet Industry Insiders.

As unfair as it sounds, the reality is that very often it's not necessarily the best manuscript that gets published. Often it's who knows who and what manuscript lands on the right person's desk on the right day. The more writers, editors, agents, and other professionals you know, the greater the chance of reaching the right person when your time comes.

As we've mentioned before, these kinds of meetings can sometimes happen in pitch sessions and manuscript review appointments. Prepare for them, but be professional. Don't stalk the agent and start with your elevator pitch WHILE IN THE ELEVATOR.

Recharge Your Batteries

Even if you think that you won't learn much from a particular conference, chances are that if you go, you'll leave pumped to write and improve. I know that every spring after this conference, I come home jazzed to get back to the keyboard and do what I love most: WRITE.

I can hardly wait for this weekend to arrive, when I get to see the friends who understand me best, be immersed in the writing world, and come home totally on fire.

Managing Social Media

By Josi S. Kilpack

Some people love it, some people hate it, but everyone can agree that when it comes to marketing and connecting with people, Social Media is a powerful tool. But how do you keep it managable and not end up spending all your writing time trying to keep up? I have a few tricks that work for me, but would love your suggestions as well. This post is not a "How to" or a "Why you should" it's simply a "How to use your time wisely." I am also not technical by any stretch, each of these things I have learned from someone else and have eventually become comfortable with it.

1--Schedule blogs. I have found it very helpful to set up specific times to post my blog. I know many people blog daily or multiple times a week. I have been unable to keep up with this both due to time and to content--I'm just not that clever. But I like to put my thoughts down. Fridays are a good day for me, but I rarely write anything on Friday. Instead, I write sometime during the week and schedule the blog through the 'post options' link at the bottom of my blog post. I assume other blogging programs have the same option. If I for some reason have a lot of ideas, I write several posts but schedule them to post on Fridays so that if I end up brain dead three weeks from now, I'm covered. I can always go in and change the posting times if I want to but at least I know the content is there. I am working on setting aside a specific time to write blogs during the week but so far haven't found that extra hour so I just take the time when I can.

2--Management programs. The one I use is Tweetdeck, but there are several others. Since I'm only familiar with Tweetdeck, however, it's the only one I can relate experience for. What Tweetdeck does is combine social media like Twitter, My Space, Facebook, etc. You basically have Tweetdeck sign you in to all those programs and it keeps a column for each one. It opens a window that hangs out behind everything else I'm working on and I get alerts when people update their statuses, send me a message etc. I don't have to log into Twitter through a browser window or keep facebook up--they are always open unless I close Tweetdeck. When I first downloaded the program I was overwhelmed and felt sure I would hate it. I made myself use it through the weekend and fell in love. I'm often the first person who posts on someones update because I spend a lot of time on the computer and I get updated immediately. I can pop over, post a comment, and get back to work in mere seconds. You can get more info at TWEETDECK and if you want more information on some of the other programs as well as Twitter info check out Jaime Theler's blog, BOOKMOM'S MUSINGS she's a twitter pro, but uses small words.

3--Linking media. I have my twitter linked to facebook so if I post to twitter it automatically posts to facebook. I can text from my phone to twitter too, which, again, posts to facebook. I also linked my blog so that it automatically posts to my twitter... which posts to my facebook. I know it sounds all technical, but it really isn't. As to how to do these things, I went to google and typed in what I wanted to do and someone far smarter than myself told me how to do it. Saves me a lot of time. Additionally, in Tweetdeck I can choose if I want to just post to facebook. Twitter is limited to 140 spaces so if I want to say something longer, I can choose just facebook for that update and twitter isn't affected. I can also google how to undo this if I want to. In regard to blogging you can also set up your blog so that you can write it as an e-mail and send it to your 'blog' e-mail address and have it post automatically.

4--Google Reader. Google Reader is web based, so you have to have a browser window open, however what it allows you to do is 'follow' blogs without having to go to them individually. It keeps a 'roll' of all the blogs you follow and you can scroll through them at leisure. If there's one you want to comment on you click on it and it takes you right there. Very handy way to keep and eye on blogs. Granted I haven't logged in for about 3 months so I probably have 2,000 blog posts but you can click on 'mark all as read' and you get back to zero. I can't imagine following blogs any other way--it really brings it all to a 'glance'.

5--Delicious. Delicious is a kind of online bookmark. Similar to the 'bookmark' option on your toolbar it allows you to enter websites into 'folders'. Then you simply put it in your toolbar and it acts as a drop down menu, allowing you to quickly go to some of your favorite sites. I use it for banking, online shopping, and social media sites so that I can get to them fast. The other benefit is that it's online, so if your on a different computer, you can log in and have your favorite sites at your fingertips. You can find out more about it at their WEBSITE

6--E-mail folders. This is elementary for some people, but many people don't realize how to best utilize this feature of their e-mail program. I have about 40 files in my e-mail and recieve well over 200 e-mails a day. I set up 'rules' that sends e-mails to their folder. for instance I have a folder for "Blogger" anytime an e-mail comes through that says 'blogger' in the 'from' field, it goes to my blogger folder. I belong to about 18 yahoo groups, each of them have their own 'folder' and rule so that they also go directly to the right place. I might not have time to read all my e-mail, but I can check in on specific folders that might have more pressing information than others. Take a little time to poke around, consider making some of your folders into sub-folders of a larger one (such as I have GROUPS, which all my yahoo groups fall underneath) and really streamline your e-mail. Consider setting up an e-mail for "Facebook" and one for "Registration Information". You'll not only get things organized, but you'll save yourself a lot of time when you go looking for something specific.

So these are my tricks, what are yours?

Write-a-Thon Winners!

What a night! Thank you to each and every one of you who participated, it is amazing what we can do when we block out that time. What a fun experience this has been. We had 29 participants for a total of 106,005 words!

So, without further adieu, here are your winners:

Word Count Winner: Sarah Eden @ 8991 words

*She wins either a 50 page edit from PEG or a $50 gift card to Amazon.com. Way to go Sarah! She just couldn't bring herself to write 9 more words I guess :-)

Random Winner: Jade Simmons

*She wins a $30 gift card to Amazon.com, Congrats Jade! She also wrote 3,954 words--awesome!

AND, because our total was over 100,000 words we have a third winner:

Word Total Random Winner: Amy

*She wins BOTH a copy of my There, They're Their: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd AND a hand-bound blank journal from Pendragon's Bookbinding. Congrats Amy! She also wrote 5,206 words!

Thanks again for being a part of the first PEG Write-a-thon. We'll do it again.

(winners, please e-mail Josi at kilpack@gmail.com with your address so we can get your prizes to you.)

START Write-a-Thon April 8, 2010

This was supposed to post automatically, but maybe it was on East Coast time. Sorry. It's 4:22 now so . . .

Rev up your engines, it's time to get this party started!

Here's a repeat of the rules-and-or-processes for tonight's write-a-thon:


1-Enter your starting time and starting word count in the comment section of this blog. Contest is open from 4:00 pm, April 8 to 12:15 am, April 9.

3-Write for four hours--set a timer if you need to! (You can take breaks, but track your time!)

4-When finished, come back to this blog and put your end time, end word count, and total words written in those 4 hours in the comment trail.

5-All "end time" posts must be posted by 12:15, Mountain Daylight Time (we're giving you 15 minutes to tally your numbers). To calculate your times based on where you live, go HERE and educate yourself about time zones.

6-Please be honest. You are your own time/word keeper and we are trusting that none of our dearly beloved readers would sell their integrity for $50 or 50 pages :-) You must post a start comment AND an end comment to be eligible to win and have your words counted toward the total.

7-The winner--whoever has the most words written in their four hours--will be posted Tomorrow, Friday, April 9th here on the PEG blog. The winner will receive their choice of a $50 gift card to Amazon.com or 50 pages of a content edit from one of the Precision Editing Group editors.

**Bonus prize: If all participants combined word counts meet or exceed 100,000 words an additional prize drawing will be held for a hand crafted journal from Pendragon's Bookbinding.

Ready, set, go...

Write-a-Thon **NEWS** and Tips

by Annette Lyon

Are you ready for Thursday evening?

You know what I'm talking about, right? The big Precision Editing Group Write-a-Thon!

You know the basics:

• Write for FOUR hours between 4:00 pm and midnight, Thursday, April 8, MDT.
• Enter your start time and beginning word count (if applicable) on the post that will be up then, titled, "The Write-a-Thon Starts Now!"
• Track your 4-hour block (set a timer if you need to so you don't go over).
• Come back and post your finishing time and your total words written during the 4 hours.

PRIZES: So here's the fun part!

• The person who writes the MOST words will receive a $50 gift certificate to Amazon.com OR a 50-page content edit from Precision Editing Group.
• One participant (selected at random) will receive a $30 gift certificate to Amazon.com

PRIZE UPDATE!

To encourage as many people as possible to participate, we've added a third prize, courtesy Pendragon's Bookbinding, who hand-sew blank journals. (Check out their website HERE. Their work really is a nearly lost art.)

One participant, again chosen at random, will win BOTH a copy of my There, They're Their: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd AND a hand-bound blank journal from Pendragon's Bookbinding . . . IF . . .

Yes, there's a catch: The journal (a writer's best friend, no?) and my grammar guide will be awarded ONLY if all participants' word counts written during the 4-hour marathon add up to more than 100,000 words.

That means in order for anyone to win a third prize, we need lots of participants!

So spread the word far and wide on your blog, via Twitter, and Facebook! Let's get as many people doing this as we can so someone can win prize #3!

Write-a-Thon TIPS:

I've done a few all-day writing marathons (8-10 hours each), and here are a few things I've learned that can make the time more productive than if you sit down and plunk your fingers on the keyboard cold:

• Think ahead, very specifically, to what you'll be writing. Consider going so far as writing a list of scenes you know are coming. A few key words or a sentence that will trigger your memory is plenty.
• Make your scene list 50% longer than you think it needs to be. This helps in two ways: not only will you have plenty to work with and not run out of material at 3.5 hours, but if you end up stuck on one scene, you can easily abandon it and jump to another one--without losing valuable time trying to work through a block.
• Have snacks and water nearby. You may think you won't need them, but four hours can (actually, WILL) result in brain fry and low blood sugar. Small snacks like cut-up apples, a little container of raisins, something with protein like nuts, or (because who are we kidding) some chocolate can help you keep writing . . . and prevent you from getting up to check the pantry.
• Plan on tiny breaks, then take them, but make them brief. Yes, technically you may lose 5 minutes here and there if you get up to walk around. But I've found that simply pacing the house for a few minutes is enough to get the juices flowing again. It helps your muscles AND your brain unkink, making you more productive when you sit back down (and more than making up for lost minutes).
• Do NOT use breaks for replenishing snacks. Mini breaks are meant to get your brain and body back into gear. If you spend them staring into the fridge, you'll not only get sidetracked, but your brain won't be taking the pit stop it needs (instead, it'll be contemplating salami versus bologna, Monterey jack versus cheddar).
• Write with a buddy. As long as the two of your are both committed to writing and not chatting, a buddy can keep you on track. Hearing another person's keyboard clicking away can be just enough to keep your fingers going (much like having a buddy in a race can keep you taking the next step and the next).

I can't wait to get started on my write-a-thon, and I hope we have lots of participants.

Good luck, everyone! Let's crack 100,000 together!

Write-a-Thon Contest!

On Thursday, April 8, 2010 Precision Editing Group will be sponsoring a Write-a-Thon and we're inviting writers to show us how many words you can write in 4 hours! The contest will open at 4:00 Mountain Daylight Time and end at midnight (You choose the best 4 hours during that period of time). There will be two winners. The person who writes the most words will receive their choice of a $50 Amazon.com gift card OR a 50 page content edit by one of the Precision Editing Group Editors. An additional winner will be chosen from everyone who participated in the write-a-thon. This winner will receive a $30 gift card to Amazon.com and be chosen through www.random.org.

Here's how it will work:

1-The Write-a-thon will officially begin at 4:00 Mountain Daylight Time.

2-The blog titled "Write-a-Thon Starts Now!" will post at 4:00 MDT--you need to enter your starting time and starting word count in the comment section of the blog when you begin.

3-Write for four hours--set a timer if you need to!

4-When finished, come back to the PEG blog and put your end time, end word count, and total words written in those 4 hours as another comment on the blog.

5-All "end time" posts must be posted by 12:15, Mountain Daylight Time (we're giving you 15 minutes to tally your numbers). To calculate your times based on where you live, go HERE and educate yourself about time zones.

6-Please be honest about your word count and use your time to write REAL words. You are your own time/word keeper and we are trusting that none of our dearly beloved readers would sell their integrity for $50 or 50 pages :-) You must have posted a start comment AND an end comment to be eligible to win either of the prizes.

7-The winner will be posted on Friday, April 9th here on the PEG blog.

We'll also be adding up everyone's words, think we can hit 100,000 words in one night?

Feel free to spread the word to other writers (Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs), wherever they may live--send them here to read up on the specifics. This contest is open to anyone, anywhere. While the prizes are a perk, the true challenge is to see how much you can do in a four hour period of time dedicated to writing. Buy hot dogs for the kids, turn off the phone, TIVO Letterman, and let your fingers go.

*Please ask any questions here, we'll answer them throughout the week.