Getting It Right

by Annette Lyon

If we writers had to be an expert on everything we write about, we'd spend so much time on research that we'd never get anything written. The late Linda Shelley Whiting, a true historian, spent ten years researching the life of one man before she wrote a biography about him. If I'd taken the time to be that thorough, I'd still be working on my first historical novel.

I've said before that even though I've published four historical novels, I'm no a historian. Not even close. I love history. I love researching the past. But first and foremost, I'm a storyteller.

Whether you have a heavy amount of research in your story or not, chances are, your story will have elements you aren't 100% familiar with. It's your job to make sure those things ring true. A huge part of ringing true means getting into the head of your characters accurately, whether they're a different gender from you, from a different time period, or in a different occupation.

A tricky part: getting the small things right isn't always possible from reading up on a topic.

For example, if you're writing about a doctor, you'll need to know not only medicine but what it's like being that kind of doctor. No amount of reading medical literature will prepare you to write about what it feels like in the ER during a crisis. Only an ER doctor (or a nurse or an orderly) knows. Pick their brains.

Have a lawyer in your book? Better study up on life at a firm, and that means more than legal mumbo jumbo. It's the politics of who does what work, how hours are billed, what happens when clients don't pay, how often you really end up in court, who gets what bonus, the types of law firms out there and what kind your book needs, and more.

Is one of your characters living on a dairy farm? Find out what that means, in specifics: tools, schedules, sights, sounds, smells. Someone who grew up on a farm might mention that when they walked the barn in the morning, mice scurried into piles of hay. Chances are, that kind of detail would never occur to a city slicker.

It's easy to let our personal world lenses do the work because we don't know what we don't know.

Like the time I wrote a scene with male character talking too much like a woman. Fortunately, a male member of my critique group pointed it out so I could fix it. We then razzed him about having his female lead constantly trying to get big tangles out of her hair with nothing but a comb. (Women know she'd need a pick or a brush.)

Profession and gender are biggies, but think of other life roles as well. I was pulled out a novel once when a mother didn't bat an eye when a perfect stranger (a big, threatening man) took her baby and walked off. She simply followed along. My mommy radar went crazy. No way would a mom roll over and let that happen. Not when her baby is on the line. I found out later that the author isn't a parent. Eureka.

Pregnancy is another experience I've had that some writers get wrong because they haven't lived it. Reading about it isn't enough, so when they try to write about a pregnant character, they miss the nuances of what it's really like. (No, if she's 9 months along, she probably won't be hopping off her bed and racing down the stairs.)

On the other hand, I've never been a competitive swimmer. I've never performed surgery. I've never driven a tractor. I've never been a teenage boy. I've never raced bikes. I've never had cancer (knock on wood . . .).

That's not to say I can't write about those things; I can . . . provided I do my research not only into the surface-level facts, but into what the lens of that kind of person/experience would be.

One great way to do that is by interviewing someone who has experienced that element before you write about it. Ask open-ended questions (ones that cannot be answered with "yes" or "no"). They encourage the other person to talk and give detailed answers. Record everything; you never know what tiny detail will turn out to be golden.

It's also useful to have them read your work after you've drafted it. They'll notice behavioral, setting, and other details you either got wrong of simply left out because you didn't know to include it.

This method was the best thing I could have done with my last novel. Since its publication, I've had readers, who have experienced the very thing I was writing about, contact me to confirm that I'd been through it myself, because there was "no way" I could have portrayed it so well without experiencing it firsthand.

(It's moments like those that you do the happy dance.)

The book is fiction. I didn't retell the stories of the women I interviewed. But I did rely on them to help me see the world through a new lens so I could tell my characters' stories. Looking back, I can say confidently that there's no way I could have written the story with any semblance of success without help. I didn't have the right lens on my own.

Another one of my books features a horse prominently in the story. Going in, I knew little to nothing about horses. I did a bunch of research myself but eventually turned to a friend who grew up with horses. She helped map out a few plot points, spotted errors, and suggested some changes. After she finished looking over it, I made revisions and handed it to yet another expert, who caught a few more things.

When you give your work to a "lens" reader, ask them to keep an eye out for details and behaviors that don't quite work. You can give a partial list of things to watch out for, but make sure they know it's not comprehensive; you don't want them missing something big because they were looking for vocabulary and totally missed that a pilot would never assume such-and-such.

Using outside readers won't guarantee that you'll be 100% correct, but it sure ups your odds of nailing a character's inner workings so they seem truly alive to your readers.

Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers submitted a query letter for critique. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0043:

Dear AGENT,

Because of your interest in young adult fiction with a historical bent, I’m sending you the first chapter of my novel Beyond the Fortune-Teller’s Tent.

Petra Baron, a senior at Arroyo Oaks High School, enters a fortune-teller’s tent at a Renaissance faire and exits into Elizabethan England. This detour into the past radically alters her carefully laid future plans. Despite her ambivalence towards her father’s recent remarriage, Petra is desperate to return to her life in Orange County, California. The seventeenth century presents all sorts of challenges -- a gypsy hunt, a demon dog named Black Shuck, and an overwhelming attraction to Emory Ravenswood. She also meets Friar Rohan, who challenges her to ask a new set of questions, “Instead of asking how, you should ask why you are here.”


When Petra returns to the here and now, she’s reunited with her newly created stepfamily emotionally as well as physically because of the lessons of love and loss learned in the Golden Age. She’s lost Emory. Or has she? Centuries apart but drawn together by extraordinary circumstances, can Petra and Emory survive the test of time? A first in a series, Beyond the Fortune-teller’s Tent is an 80,000 word novel.

I’ve been writing for a number of years. My second novel, The Promise, received an honorable mention in an international contest. My third novel, Hailey's Comments, was a semi-finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest. My fifth novel, Stealing Mercy, placed second at the LDS Storymaker’s Conference first chapter contest in the historical category.

I studied English Literature at Brigham University and at BYU’s International Center in London. I’ve written for local newspapers and political campaigns. As former chapter president of a charitable organization, I’m frequently asked to speak publicly and I write my own addresses.

Currently, I’m president of Orange County Fictionaires, a local writing group. Neal Shusterman, award winning young adult author, and prolific romance writer Jacqueline Diamond, both friends and fellow Fictionaires, a have promised to speak kindly in my work’s behalf. Raymond Obstfeld, bestselling novelist, called my writing ‘intelligent, witty and strong,’ and Charles Salzberg, director of The New York Writer’s Workshops, was ‘impressed by my writing and characters.’ I hope you’ll feel the same. I look forward to hearing from you and I thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers submitted a query letter for critique. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0042:

Agent
Address, etc


Dear Agent:

I am seeking representation for the completed novel, Balance of Powers, comprising approximately 105,000 words. Balance of Powers takes us on an epic journey where three separate worlds are about to converge. This novel weaves together what I love most about fantasy adventure, science fiction and psychology, and will likely satisfy your interest in both epic fantasy and science fiction. The advanced science of the alien world Xo’lentia and epic adventures on the magical world of Ru’unta 3 are all tied together as our hero battles the corrosive thoughts of his own mind.

The future of each world hinges on the fate of one man–¬¬–Jared. There is one small problem for our unlikely hero, however. He has no idea who he is or where he came from. Only maddening glimpses of supposed memories plague his mind with self-doubt and loathing. Finding himself in a strange and foreign world full of magical beings and ominous creatures, Jared questions his abilities and purpose. Many have faith that he is the Foretold One, destined to save the planet from destruction.

Others would just as soon see him dead.

But that’s not all. Our unassuming hero has caught the attention of an advanced alien race as well, and some will stop at nothing to exploit Jared to find his home world, Dimension Earth.

Jared may be able to overcome the challenges of this dangerous planet with the help of those determined to protect him, but will he manage to work through his own destructive thoughts and beliefs? Planet Earth, Xo’lentia and Ru’unta 3 may all depend on it.

As a mental health counselor and a life long lover of science fiction and fantasy, I look forward to publishing this novel that ties them all together in an action packed adventure, full of interesting characters and landscapes. The full manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
AUTHOR

The 2 Sides of a Good Writer

by Annette Lyon

In college, my creative writing professor sat me down for a one-on-one critique with a short story I'd written. He raved about my beautiful prose and sentence structure, how the writing was so clean.

And then he ripped into my unbelievable character motivations and rather lame plot arc.

This was my first taste of the two sides of a great writer:

The Storyteller

This side of the writer comes up with the great story ideas and finds ways to tell the stories in unique and interesting ways.

The Word Smith

This side of the writer has a way with language. The word smith can write smooth and seamless sentences and paragraphs, often beautiful ones.

Many writers have one as their primary writing strength (like I did), and while they can always improve in that area, they have to actively learn the other side. The good news is that, in general, you can strengthen the side you're weaker on.

Back in college, I was pretty solidly a word smith. I've since studied books and magazines, gone to conferences, been critiqued by solid writers, and more to learn how to tell a great story. It's taken years of studying the craft to figure out how to create a great plot and tell a ripping good yarn, but I think it's paid off.

On the flip side, I know writers who have an innate ability to spin those yarns. They have huge imaginations that take flight and hold other people captive . . . but they can't string two sentences together without sounding clunky and awkward.

The good news for natural storytellers is that often a great idea and a wild story can get a writer's toe in the publishing door, while no matter how smooth a manuscript is as far as writing goes, if it's boring or cliche, it's not going to get picked up.

In that sense, storytellers have an advantage over word smiths. But storytellers still need to learn the ropes of word smithing if they hope to truly be successful.

I've probably mentioned this story before, but it bears repeating: a managing editor at a publisher told me how they'd had to turn down manuscripts because, even though they loved the stories, the books as is were too messy to take on and spend the money to clean up editorially.

Storytellers + sloppy writing = rejection.

You can't expect an editor to fix all your problems. No matter how polished you make your book, you'll still need an editor, and an editor can take a book up only one level at a time, not from level two to ten in one fell swoop.

If you're just a storyteller, you may get passed over because someone else, also a great story teller, happens to be a better word smith.

Or, if you're like me, you can write books smooth as silk but be passed up for years by others who are better storytellers, submitting more imaginative and exciting tales.

Of course, the best scenario is for you to be both a great storyteller and a great word smith, too. Once you learn at least the fundamentals of both sides, you're really on the right track for getting published and being successful.

Which is your forte, storyteller or word smith?

How can you strengthen (or how have you strengthened) the other half of your writer self?

Quotes & Italics Revisited

by Annette Lyon

My original post about when to use italics and quotation marks was nearly four years ago, but it still gets hits and comments. Those comments are often new questions that the post didn't cover. A reader e-mail with another question pushed the topic over the edge.

It's time for another edition to answer additional questions about quotation marks and italics! (Cue the celebration music . . .)

1. Series

First off, since that post, I've learned a rule that somehow never made it onto my radar before:

Series don't get italics or quote marks.

A series is considered to be a name, not a title (so the Harry Potter series is plain Roman text, but The Half-blood Prince gets italics). When I first learned the rule, I thought it meant just books, but it looks like some editors prefer to leave television series as names alone (so Star Trek instead of Star Trek, which is the form I used in the old post).

I don't know that there's a lot of consensus on television series yet, but book series for sure are simply capped.

2. Places Get Roman Text

I mentioned this briefly in the last post, and #1 above hints at it, but it bears repeating: names don't get italics or quotation marks, just capped Roman text.

Names include houses (Tara or Green Gables) as well as stores (Sears) and museums (the Metropolitan Museum of Art).

A special exhibit at a museum, however, may have a title that you'd use italics with, but only in a situation when you're referring to the exhibit, such as in a school report, not on fliers or signs at the exhibit. In those situations, the title would be acting as a title. Just like you wouldn't italicize a novel's title on the cover of the book, you wouldn't italicize the title of an exhibit on a sign.

3. Short Magazines Are still Magazines

Magazine titles get italics, and the articles inside get quotation marks. This is true even if the magazine (or newsletter) isn't a big one. You could have a small periodical, and it would still get italics, regardless of length.

4. In the US, Use Double Quotation Marks

When quoting something or setting off a word, always use double quote marks. Single quote marks are used in the UK, not in the US. The only time you'd use single quote marks is if you had a quote within a quote, such as:

Julie asked, "Did you hear Pete? He just asked, 'Who still needs a ticket?'"

Note the single + double quote marks at the end, which close both Pete's quotation and Julie's. It looks weird with what looks like three marks there, but it's correct.

When in doubt, use double quotes.

5. Prayer Names Are Names, Not Titles

So you'd write: Hail Mary, The Lord's Prayer, etc.

6. Large Quotations Can Get Italics

If you're writing a non-fiction piece and using long (more than a sentence) quotes, you can set the quotation off by indenting it in a block and italicizing the whole thing. That's a visual cue to the reader that they're reading someone else's words.

Since you already have that cue, don't add quotation marks to the block quote. They're redundant.

7. Foreign Words

It's common for foreign words in both fiction and non-fiction to be set apart for clarity, sort of a sign post to the reader that says, "Hey, this is a foreign word, in case you weren't sure."

It's usually done with italics. Some style guides may choose quotation marks instead, but italics are more common because of the potential for ambiguity with the use of ironic quotation marks. (See #9, below.)

If you're using foreign words in a novel, I'd suggest italicizing them throughout. Some writers choose to italicize foreign words just the first time they're used and then use Roman text after that.

Which direction you go will likely depend ultimately on your publisher's style guide. For sure, the one thing you don't want to do is switch back and forth between Roman and italics. Be consistent.

8. Quoting a Definition

If I want to write a word and then define it, putting quotation marks around first the word and then the definition would look odd:

"Myriad," "a great number."

Usually the word being defined gets italics (like with #7. Foreign Words). Then I'd add a colon and write out the definition. To clarify that the definition came from a specific dictionary, I could add quotation marks around the whole thing, or indent the section like this (see #6):

Quotation marks, not indented:

"Myriad: a great number" (Merriam-Webster online)

Indented, without quotation marks:

myriad: a great number (Merriam-Webster online)

9. Don't Pull a Joey

Quotation marks often mean you're being ironic, that you don't really mean what's in them.

The correct use of ironic quotation marks would be to say I'm eating a "beef" patty, when it's really soy protein. The quotation marks make it clear that the patty really isn't beef.

On the other hand, a burger from Carl's Jr. would never have quote marks around it. It's really a beef patty.

A YouTube clip of Joey incorrectly using air quotes (a physical form of ironic quotes) has the embedding disabled, so I can't post it.

So be sure to check it out HERE. I crack up whenever I see it. It's worth 44 seconds of your time.

For more on incorrect quotation marks, check out the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks (misuse in the name absolutely intentional). SO funny!

Wait. Where Are We?

by Annette Lyon

One part of writing that I love is when I'm really in the groove and the story simply flows from my fingers, through the keyboard, onto the screen. It's like I'm watching and creating a movie simultaneously.

Sometimes those great bursts of creativity produce good work. Other times, well, the section needs revision.

Remember: What's in your head and what's on the page aren't always the same thing.

A common problem I see in beginning writers' work is not grounding the reader at the beginning of a new scene or chapter. The writer knows what the new scene looks like, but they haven't put it on the page. The reader may end up spending a page or two figuring out who all is present, where we are, how much time has passed since the last scene, and who's head we're in.

A good writer can jump right into the story, keep the pace going, and not leave the reader in the dust. It's a balancing act of giving out enough information but not too much.

The key is to remember as you write that your reader isn't in your head. They have no idea where or when this new scene is compared to the last one. The story could have jumped two minutes, two hours, or two years. We could be in the same room, outdoors, or on another continent.

If the writer doesn't orient us quickly, we're liable to close the book, annoyed and confused. This is especially important for speculative works, where one chapter could literally be in another world or time.

An example: John and James have a conversation. With speech tags, they're both identified. So far, so good. They're talking along for a couple of pages, when John signals and turns left into a grocery store.

Wait, what? When did we get into a car? Last time we saw John, he was at work.

Shake the head to clear it. Create new mental picture: John and James are in a car. John is driving. He pulls into a grocery store parking lot. Got it.

They keep talking, go into the store, and as they reach the produce section, Jennifer adds her two bits to the conversation.

Whoa. Where did she come from? Oh, she was in the car with them? The writer didn't show us that. We redraw the entire scene in our heads, adding Jennifer to the car as a passenger.

And so on.

As the writer, you're seeing it all. You know who's present. You know what everyone is saying and doing. Heck, you probably know what they're all wearing and had for lunch. You know precisely what the environment looks like and could describe the sights, sounds, smells.

But if you don't describe those things, we don't know any of it.

A similar problem with a scene opener is when we're put into a character's head, thinking about the current situation and what to do next. But we're not in a scene. There's no location, no action. We're just floating around in someone's head. That's not only confusing, it's boring.

So create a scene from line one. A scene requires, at the very least, a character, a location, and action (and preferably conflict). Then we can get into someone's head and think. (But not for long, flowing paragraphs, unless you're looking at literary fiction.)

The tricky part, of course, is knowing how much to show on the page. You don't want to bog down the narrative showing every turn the car makes, every detail of the dashboard, or the color, style, and designer of each passenger's shirt, and every business they pass on the road.

But we do need to know we're in a car, driving somewhere. A few specifics about the type of car, plus a sight, a sound, or smell, are all great additions that help make a scene pop. Sprinkle those in with care.

Likewise, there's no reason to spend paragraphs on every character present, but the reader must know who's there. And make sure we are somewhere doing something.

Remember: set a scene, which means having both location and action.

You'd be surprised at how easy it is to open a chapter or scene without either. Don't.

By the same token, avoid simply stating who's present, plus where they are and where they're going. That's telling, not showing.

Fixing this kind of problem really comes down to show, don't tell (as so many writing problems seem to).

In our example scene, where John and James are talking (and we have no idea where they are), we have a "talking heads" situation. That means we hear voices that might as well be disembodied, because we don't have solid details that ground the "movie" in our heads. Talking heads = telling.

We can fix the dialogue by adding "beats," such as facial expressions, gestures, thoughts from the POV character, and more. That breaks up the talking heads, and it creates a showing environment. The movie in the writer's head is more fully on the page.

The reader figures out the location not by being told what it is but by watching how the characters react to and interact with their environment. If every character is reacting and interacting, we get no surprises when Jennifer speaks in the produce section.

Perhaps James nervously flips the lock/unlock button back and forth. John moves the visor to block the sun then gets annoyed at the guy in the Lamborghini who cut him off. Jennifer tells James to stop it with the lock button already, because it's driving her crazy. All of those details show us where they are (and we get a peek into their characters to boot).

A challenge: Open your WIP to any scene. Read half a page of the opening. Is it clear where, when, and with whom we are? For that matter, are we in a scene or just floating in a character's head?

Look at every scene opener in your story. Revise them as needed to be sure the reader will come away with a clear movie in their heads: the one you want them to be watching.