What I See Most Often

by Annette Lyon

As an editor, I see a lot of the same things. If you can avoid these few issues in your work, you'll automatically be a step ahead of the competition.

Here are three of the most common problems I see:

Back-story Dump

Also known as "info dump." This is when the story comes to a screeching halt so we can learn the characters' history, what led up to this moment, and so on. It includes flashbacks, long strings of thought, dialog where characters recap the past (things they already know and likely wouldn't actually say to one another), and so on.

At the beginning of a story, this is a real problem. Back story may be important, although I'm betting it's less important than you think. We really don't want to hear about it in the first chapter. If the reader needs information from the past, tell us in small pieces . . . later.

Point of View Problems

I highly recommend reading Orson Scott Card's book Character and Viewpoint as a primer for learning how point of view works, how to pick the right one, and how to use it well.

Common POV problems I see include head-hopping, picking the wrong POV, having no point of view whatsoever, and having inconsistent POV characterization. POV problems pull the reader out of the story. They can make the narrative confusing. When handled well, POV helps the reader get immersed in the story.

Telling Instead of Showing

Show, don't tell, is such a common piece of advice it's almost cliche, but it's crucial. Telling creates a shallow story with flat characters. Instead of readers feeling and experiencing the story, getting wrapped up into it, they'll remain at a distance, as if reading a summary.

Good showing appears on the sentence and paragraph level (what I call micro showing) and in the overall scene, chapter, and full-length work level (what I call macro showing).

Interestingly enough, back story dumps and POV problems are often also telling problems. If you learn how to avoid these three common weak spots, you'll automatically find yourself knowing how to fix a lot of problems in your work--and avoid them altogether in the future.

Press Releases: Find Your Hook

by Annette Lyon

Whether you've published with a traditional press or are going the indie route, a lot of promotion for your book will be on your shoulders.

In an attempt to get featured on television, radio, magazines, and newspapers, writers generally put together press releases and send them out, hoping for the best.

Problem: The vast majority of press releases will end up in the circular file, never to be read or passed along . . . or acted upon to give you any attention in the media.

There are several reasons why. One is that media outlets are bombarded with press releases. They simply have too many to wade through.

Another reason is that hundreds (if not thousands or tens of thousands) of writers send out press releases, and they all look the same. If a release doesn't stand out (as in, really stand out), it'll be ignored completely.

REALITY: Being a novelist doesn't mean you automatically know how to write a good press release.

Study up on the standard press-release format, including things like the headline, date, contact information, and even where to put the little ### symbols.

Of course, read it aloud, proof it meticulously, and then seek out the best people to send it to.

But before you write it in the first place . . .

Find your media hook, or your press release is already dead in the water.

The news is just that: NEWS. It's interesting information that the media think their audiences will want to hear and learn about. Write your press release with news in mind.

On the wall of a local news station I was at once, I saw a poster that was a reminder to the correspondents. It listed the most common things viewers care about (I think it was something like the 50 top subjects). Reporters were encouraged to use those topics as launching points when coming up with ideas for the news stories.

The types of things on the poster were all things that impact viewers' lives. I don't remember them all, but they included things like nutrition, safety, little-known hazards, heroes, health studies, recalls, environment, politics, warnings, and so on.

In other words: what will the viewers want to hear about because they already care?

I can guarantee you that "Local Author Publishes Novel" isn't going to cut it. Sure, your neighbors might care. But they probably already know your news. But who else will bother reading that?

Non-fiction is typically easier to sell for press releases than fiction, because often the hook is in the topic itself. A how-to book on finances, for example, could launch a spotlight on the author with a few of the tips from the book. But even then, the press release isn't about "expert on finances publishes book" so much as "expert reveals 25 sure-fire ways to get out of debt." And those ways happen to be in the book.

In other words, your hook should be something you could imagine on that poster. (Who out there isn't impacted on some level by money? Right.)

To get any kind of media attention with a novel, you need a news hook that is something people already care about.

Several years ago, Precision Editing's own Josi Kilpack was on a local morning talk show with her novel Sheep's Clothing. Her hook was the underlying concept behind the plot: the dangers of internet predators and how to keep our children safe. (And then as a post script: "Oh, and the book is about an internet predator. It's a great suspenseful read. Check it out.")

Are internet predators a current topic? Does it (or at least, the worry of it) affect a lot of viewers?

Let's see . . . it impacts any viewer with an internet connection and a child somewhere in their lives. Pretty much everyone.

Note that Josi's appearance was more about the issue and less about the book.

The same thing applied when I made it onto two local television shows and two radio interviews, plus some newspapers, while promoting my novel Band of Sisters.

The focus of the press release and the spots was on a charity that helps military families, something I learned about while researching the book and then joined forces with. The novel is about deployment. I included a page in the back about the charity, the Flat Daddy organization. I raised money for military families through my blog. On radio and television, I talked mostly about the charity and what people can do to help military families. The hosts mentioned the novel on the side.

We snagged one TV spot with a press release about the Flat Daddy charity, but when I got there, all the hosts asked me about was the book. Which was nice, although totally unexpected.

When writing your press release, find a new hook that reporters can latch onto. Make it something viewers or readers will want to find more about. It must be relevant to the viewer, not just to you because you love your book.

Sometimes that could mean writing a guest editorial about a topic (like finances) instead of doing a press release, then mentioning your book in the bio line.

But whatever you do, remember to never, ever use a headline that mentions just you, your book, and that gee, wow, you published one. That isn't news, and it won't get covered except, perhaps, in tiny local papers with a brief mention (which won't sell you any books).

Why should the media care? Why will their viewers and readers care? Hook them with a news story about something that matters.

Then make sure it's a crisp, clean press release, and you just upped the chances that they'll bite.

Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.

Critique Archive #47

Dear (Agent),

How do you let go of the past when it haunts you every day? Nearly a year ago, 17-year-old Allie Collins almost drowned in a river by her family’s summer cabin. Failing to rescue her young cousin, Allie harbors her anguish and guilt, carrying them with her into a lonely existence. Forced to return to the cabin, Allie struggles with her grief as well as her complicated family dynamics. She is intrigued when she hears the rumor of how a family mysteriously died some years ago, not far from where her own tragedy occurred. Feeling strangely connected to the story, Allie sets out to discover the truth behind the secrecy. Meanwhile, Allie meets Damien, a local rebel with a shielded past. Drawn by Damien’s uncanny ability to help Allie share her darkest emotions, she embraces this relationship with little heed to the warnings from her friends and family. By the time Allie unearths the secrets of Damien’s youth, she discovers just how intricately they are connected, and is caught in a dangerous battle that threatens her life and those she loves.

Hidden Pines is a contemporary young adult novel that depicts a journey between heartbreak and healing, while testing friendship, loyalty, and love. My experience working with youth as a Recreational Therapist allows me to incorporate values and relevant themes that will entice young adult readers.

I look forward to sharing my 90,000 word manuscript with you. As instructed in your submission guidelines, I have included three sample chapters.

With appreciation,
(Author)

The Middle of Nowhere

I live in the literal middle of nowhere. Getting to my house is one of those experiences where you start out thinking about how fun the road trip is going to be. You take off with your snacks, and your drinks, and your awesome music you can sing along with. But once you leave the freeway and enter the highway, things feel less promising than they did when you took off. You're moving slower because the speed limits are so incredibly lamely LOW, and sometimes you get stuck behind semi trucks who make the lame low speed limit look like Nascar, and the scenery doesn't feel like it's changing. It's more of the same thing over and over and over. And sometimes you get stuck out there in the middle--due to cattle or sheep, or rolled semi trucks (it happens). Sometimes you get stuck for a long time and it totally bites because there isn't even any cell service.

People show up at my house and come panting in my living room and plopping down on my couch with great exclamations of how they NEVER thought they would get there.

I get them a drink and lament American highways with them because it's the right thing to do. It really is a long drive--necessary for me, but long.

Writing feels similar sometimes.

You get this great idea--this epic, amazing, you-can't-believe-the-idea-actually-came-to-you idea, and you take off, writing furiously. You've got your snacks, your drinks, your best writing music, and you are so excited about what you're working on, you can barely keep the grin off your face. You know that the ending of this work will be colossal, amazing. You're thrilled with how fantastic the destination of the end of your book will be for readers of all ages. You are going to change the world.

Until you find yourself in what feels like the two-lane-highway-stuck-behind-a-semi-truck part of your book.

Welcome. You've now reached the middle.

And you start to doubt.

Is this really where you wanted to go anyway? What's so great about reaching "the end?" Maybe that beginning was the mistake. Maybe you took a wrong turn somewhere . . .

So instead of writing, you rearrange your pen collection, get up for a different snack--you were sick of chips anyway and realize carrot sticks might be healthier. You punch some buttons on the remote control to see what might be on.You call your friends and see about going to a movie, but they're busy writing--jerks, and then you decide that health is overrated, and you wanted ice cream instead.

There are some things you can do to pass the semi--clear the flock off the road, and get back to the freeway that will take you where you want to go.

Boring:
Are you bored? If you're bored, I promise, your reader is too. If that's the reason the middle's slowing down, then you might want to insert some action, some peril, something that incites your characters and your readers. Put them in danger, make the girl lose the guy, have the murderer strike again while the detective is still scrambling with clues. Make something happen that propels the action and the plot forward again.

Goals:
Does your character not have clearly defined goals so your characters are kind of wandering around in the misty middles of nowhere because they're not sure what to do next? if this is the case, go back and find something your character desperately wants or is desperately passionate about. That is the goal. Keep them moving toward the goal, which will help move them away from the middle and closer to the end. Make sure the goal is big enough that the readers will care if the goal is achieved. If the quest is merely for a pint of ice cream--you might not be able to get the reader to follow the journey to the end. Make it riveting enough to hold your attention. 

Make sure your antagonist has a clear goal too. No one is evil just for the sake of evil. They have things they want and are trying desperately to achieve.

I have a tendency to get lost in my manuscripts about page 60, and then again at page 120. But I've always found that it's because I've lost sight of the goal or failed to keep the action and plot moving. Middles don't have to feel like the boring nowheres they sometimes seem to be. Take the scenic route and turn your music up louder. And remember to have fun with it!

Give me a Break!

By Josi Kilpack

Just like in real life, a "break" in a manuscript is a pause, a format-spoken note to your reader's subconscious telling them what to expect next. Using them correctly will give the right signal, and knowing the terms they are called by will help you better communicate to other industry people.

There are actually two types of Line Breaks, or at least two ways I have found them to be used. The definition I'm most familiar with is basically the hard return at the end of a line that starts a new paragraph. This type of break is used all the time in fiction, if we didn't use it we'd have one very long and confusing paragraph. The correct way to use a line break is to signal the end of a paragraph and to signal a new speaker in dialogue. For instance, you wouldn't format dialogue this way:

"But what about the dog? What are we going to do about that @#!*% dog?" her voice was rising in direct proportion to her frustration. "We'll sell it, or give it away. We can do it while the kids are at school and tell them it ran off." "Do you really think they'll fall for it?" "Trust me. I'll take them to ice cream and buy them a new Wii game. I doubt they'll even notice."

Without line breaks we have a hard time following the discussion which should read:

"But what about the dog? What are we going to do about that @#!*% dog?" her voice was rising in direct proportion to her frustration.
"We'll sell it, or give it away. We can do it while the kids are at school and tell them it ran off."
"Do you really think they'll fall for it?"
"Trust me. I'll take them to ice cream and buy them a new Wii game. I doubt they'll even notice."

The other way that the term line break is used is when you have a significant change but not a new chapter--I call these Hard Breaks to keep it clearer in my own head. A significant change is usually point of view or setting and it should be signaled to the reader by centering three asterisks *** between the last line of the previous text and the first line of "change". It is very important that you use three asterisks, not two and not four, and that it's centered. The typesetter uses this as a signal for their formatting so use it correctly in your manuscript. The important part to remember is that hard breaks should only be used for a significant change, which invites the question of whether or not the change should be the start of a new chapter instead of a hard break. I, personally, dislike hard breaks very much. I use them on occasion, but only if the significant change results in too short a chapter. I dislike reading books with lots of *** because though I'm being warned of the change, I question if it was really necessary. Specifically, when you are in one scene and the *** signals jumping between POV characters still in that scene I find it usually wasn't the best choice. I prefer that each scene belong to one POV character, usually the character who has the most to lose in that scene--but that is only my opinion and not an element of craft. Any time you use a hard break, ask yourself if it should be a new chapter. If the answer is no, make sure you really need to make the significant change. If the answer is yes, then be sure to format it correctly with three centered asterisks.

Sometimes, you'll see an extra line between paragraphs. This is typically referred to as a Soft Break but is sometimes called a Section Break as well. Often, the use of soft breaks is a style issue with individual writers and is used to signal a less-significant change. That means that you're in the same POV character, same setting, and the 'focus' of that portion of the plot is also the same. Most often, soft breaks work well to show that time has passed. Whenever it is used, you should question yourself to make sure it's necessary. Because it is such a strong visual cue to the reader, you want to make sure that you use it correctly.

The final break is a Page Break. A page break should only ever be used to start a new chapter, AND even that is questionable. Many editors and agents want the Chapters to be continuous and not break at the end of a page. If you do want to make a page break, don't simply hit the return key until you get to a new page. If you should add anything above those empty returns, they will push those returns down as well, throwing off your alignment. Instead, if using Word on a PC go to the end of the text in that chapter and then push the ctrl key and the enter key at the same time. On a Mac, press the apple key and the enter key located next to the apple key on the right side of the keyboard, not the return key. This will take you to the first line of the next page. You can also add breaks through the 'insert' drop down of the menu, but it's much easier to use the shortcut. Be sure to check submission guidelines to make sure that page breaks for new chapters are acceptable. If they don't say anything, then you can assume it's allowed.

Proper formatting is a cue to your editor that you know what you're doing and anything that increases their confidence in you is a very good thing. Happy Writing!

Reader Etiquette

by Annette Lyon

Writers are avid readers. (At least, they all should be.)

In today's interconnected world, that means entirely new things for the reader/writer relationship.

When I was a kid, I didn't necessarily have any idea who the authors of the books I read were, beyond a tiny bio at the back of a book, and a photo if I was lucky. The authors could have been dead half the time, for all I knew. (And many were.)

Today, however . . .

Almost all writers are a few clicks away on the computer. There's a very good chance your favorite writer has a website, blog, a Facebook page, and a Twitter account (or at least some combination of those things).

A side note: all writers should have some kind of online presence, even if it's a single bio page and an email address for publicists, book stores, and others to be able to reach you, such as if you've been nominated for an award.

Authors often interact with their readers through social media. Many writers have huge followings. Neil Gaiman has such a large Twitter following that often when he posts a link, the server on the other end crashes, leading to the Twitter hash tag #neilwebfail.

How writers can or should use social media isn't the point of this post, however.

The point is how you as a reader should approach writers online.

In the simplest terms, just remember two things:

1) The person on the other end is an actual, breathing human being.

2) They have feelings, especially about their work.

That may sound obvious. But the ease with which we toss out texts, status updates, tweets, and emails, we often forget basic courtesy.

It's one thing for me to rant about why I really don't like one of Faulkner's books when he's dead and gone.

It's something else entirely to shoot off an angry email to a living, writing, publishing author, right after I read a book, if their latest release didn't live up to my expectations.

The writer ego is a tricky thing. One minute you feel like you can take on the world and can really do this literary thing.

The next second, you're ready to curl into the fetal position and rock back and forth, certain that you're an idiot for putting your work out there because it stinks and people hate it.

We writers do this to ourselves already.

We don't need the help of trigger-happy readers.

I'm not talking about readers giving honest reviews on GoodReads or Amazon or on their blogs. That's part and parcel of the whole publishing gig. Writers who react poorly to bad reviews need to grow up, and never go on the attack. Not cool, people.

But it's a good reminder for all of us that when we're reading books, and the writers are out there, right now, ready to hear what we have to say (and are likely watching the internet for references to themselves, as most writers have Google alerts set up for this), they will catch what's going on. Word gets around.

And if you decide to write a hasty, angry email in the middle of the night directly to the writer? You may well regret it in the morning. And the writer may well wake up, eager for a day of writing, only to be shot down by someone the moment they check their email.

Again, I'm not implying that reviewers can't be honest. Or that readers can't contact writers. Not at all.

Reviewers serve an important role, and honest, helpful reviews go a long way. (Nasty, bitter reviews aren't useful for readers or for writers, however.)

And as a writer, I love getting reader feedback. At least I do when it's written with the understanding that I'm human, I'm not perfect, and I'm trying hard to improve.

Think of it this way: If you wouldn't say it to the author's face if you met them, don't send a DM or an email saying it either.

And to mix metaphors: If you're an aspiring writer yourself, remember that you may be in the hot seat one day, and any bridges your burn today will almost certainly come back to to bite you tomorrow.

Be kind. Be courteous. Be helpful. That doesn't mean putting on a fake face, but that does mean a bit of restraint.

And basic manners.

Congrats to Melanie Jacobson

One of our blog followers, Melanie Jacobson, just had a book released called Not My Type. Congrats Melanie!

Link to first chapter here.
Purchase link here.



We're always happy to post new releases by our blog followers.

Alpha Readers and Beta Readers

I was recently looking for beta readers for my most recent book when a friend of mine asked me if I had already used alpha readers. I blinked stupidly at her and told her I'd never heard the term. She explained what she meant and I realized that was basically what I used beta readers for--so we have a synonym issue; two words, same definition. Like child and kid (not the goat kind...moving on)

So, then I did a little research to see what the world at google-large thinks and here's what I found:

Alpha Reader:
*The first people to read the book, often while it's being written who help you craft the story as it develops.
*Someone who reads the book before anyone else in regard to how it works on an industry level, often a published author or expert in the genre your writing.

My comments: Well, I happen to have a writing group who helps me chapter by chapter so that means I have alpha readers--who knew? I've never used the second type of alpha reader. It sounds to me like an alpha reader would have to have some understanding of craft since they are either helping you develop the story or they are reading it as compared to other similar works. So here's my definition:

Alpha reader: Craft-savvy readers who either assist in the development of the book as it is being written, or can help with the industry-specific aspects when it is finished.

Beta Reader:
*Someone who will read the manuscript in its entirety after it's finished who will offer discerning advice on how to best prepare it for your editor.
*Not necessarily a professional editor
*Often has a specific focus, expertise, or experience.

My comments: This was my understanding of beta readers and I have a very good pool of them I alternate between for my books. I try not to overwhelm any of them by asking them to do every book because I'm writing 2+ a year. I also have a basic agreement that if they beta read for me, they get a free copy of the book AND I will reciprocate by being a beta reader for them. Some of my beta readers are writers, but not all of them. I find beta readers who are just 'readers' to be very helpful since they don't get caught up in line or craft things. That said, writers catch things that a reader never would so having a variety of perspectives is helpful. So here's my definition:

Beta Reader: Someone who reads the manuscript after its completed prior to submission who then gives feedback on the overall book based on their perspective.

A few more thoughts on beta readers:
*Have at least two. Unless your mother is Dr. Laura who will tell you the honest truth whether you like it or not, she should not be a beta reader.
*Too many beta readers can become obnoxious, you have to go through each of their feedback.
*If a beta reader doesn't give you useful feedback, consider them strongly before you send them another manuscipt.
*A good beta reader will help you identify things you couldn't see on your own.
*A great beta reader will give you suggestions on how to fix it.
*Every manuscript should go through beta readers before its submitted.

What did I miss?

Happy writing!

Pay Attention. Remember.

by Annette Lyon

One of your main jobs as a writer is to keep your eyes and ears open, all the time. You never know what random bit of information you gleaned from a newscast, documentary, conversation, novel, or something else entirely, will be just the bit you need for a story.

At various times, the following pieces of information have proven useful in my work (whether that's reading, editing, or writing), all of which I've learned from paying attention as my life moves along.

• Portuguese doesn't sound like Italian.
• Some houses can't have basements because of a high water table.
• You can't shoot the lock off a door.
• The typical length of a picture book is 32 pages.
• Bleeding arteries don't trickle or run; they pump in spurts.
• Many Southern California apartments don't have heating.
• In-N-Out Burgers has a minimal menu.
• In the Salt Lake City Airport, arriving passengers come down an escalator to meet family.
• Bruises turn yellow when they've almost healed.
• Almost anything can be poisonous in the right amount.
• If you break your nose, you may become nauseated from blood draining into your stomach.
• A canyon near my home has a great running trail, and in the fall, the trail is surrounded by gold leaves.
• The carpet in a local ICU has a swirly blue pattern.
• A small rock, when thrown, can cause a cut big enough to need stitches.
• A childhood friend's father used to sing silly songs in a voice mimicking Kermit the Frog.

I could go on and on. If you're a curious writer, you probably could too. That's a good thing.

As a writer, you should be constantly paying attention. An incomplete list of what that can mean:

• Eavesdropping on public conversations.
• Noticing smells.
• Paying attention to sounds, both indoors and outdoors.
• Taking note of colors: on the mountains, paint on the walls, clothing, hair, etc.
• Mentally cataloging quirks of speech.
• Thinking up ways to describe things (sights, sensations, etc.)
• Watching professionals as they work, including their behaviors, choices, and vocabulary.

And so on.

If you're the curious type, you likely run a Google search for random things at random times. You wonder "what if" and "why" and you aren't satisfied with generic answers. You look up one thing online and end up staying there for an hour, following links as you learn a bunch of new things.

Instead of apologizing for being "weird," embrace the idiosyncrasy and fill up the well of detail that's inside you.

Why? Because when you're sitting at the keyboard, getting ready write, you need a well to draw from. Of course you don't need to know everything when you sit down. Far from it. You can always leave blanks to research and fill in later. (I do that all the time.)

But if you have been actively filling up your well with vivid images, sounds, smells, and ideas, your writing will flow out of your fingers quicker and smoother than it would otherwise. You'll find yourself making connections you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. Your story will be richer.

If your well is empty, you'll have nothing to draw from.

So: Watch. Listen. Read.

Above all, pay attention and remember.

SOME FUN NEWS:

If you have heard about it yet, be sure to check out the newest writing podcast, specifically about middle-grade books. It's called Wordplay, and the three hosts are awesome: critique group member J. Scott Savage, New York Times best-selling writers James Dashner, and literary agent-turned novelist Nathan Bransford.