tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post6034654149190490366..comments2023-10-30T09:45:16.159-06:00Comments on Writing on the Wall: Monday Mania--Query LetterPrecision Editing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17054725687044240043noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-91322622729454501652010-02-06T20:24:26.358-07:002010-02-06T20:24:26.358-07:00I read recently on an agents blog that a query let...I read recently on an agents blog that a query letter is a business letter. Remove the extra fluff and keep it short and to the point.Bethany Wigginshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345327120999157124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-74237793751583502462010-02-02T18:38:23.629-07:002010-02-02T18:38:23.629-07:00Query #1 & #2: It might be nice to have your q...Query #1 & #2: It might be nice to have your queries a bit more personalized (I know you are looking for feedback on the basic letter).<br /><br />Either at the beginning or the end of the letter, state why you are submitting to the particular agent.<br /><br />Query 1: I think the descriptive paragraph is great, but the whole of the query needs to be more personal (why you are submitting to that agent, and a little about yourself).<br /><br />Query 2: Too many rhetorical questions in the 2nd paragraph. Maybe limit it to one, the "biggest" question that carries the most conflict.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-88081199354175381582010-02-01T21:26:35.736-07:002010-02-01T21:26:35.736-07:00Thanks Josi! :) I'll make some changes right a...Thanks Josi! :) I'll make some changes right away.Brent Boswellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10654048412334898458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-1427704486357914422010-02-01T11:13:01.266-07:002010-02-01T11:13:01.266-07:00Query #1--Shorten the descriptive paragraph, focus...Query #1--Shorten the descriptive paragraph, focusing on the main points of the story--character, conflict and climax. I would also like to hear about you, if you have credentials and publishing credits, list them (Query #2 author does this well) if you don't have credentials, no worries, list how long you've been writing and any writing groups you might belong to. You want to give them reason to see that you're serious about your craft. <br /><br />While it's perfectly acceptable to intro the way you do, with the word count and genre-audience, it's a pretty dry sentence. The first line in a query is as important as the first line in a book. Can you rearrange information to make the opening punchy?<br /><br />It sounds like you have a fresh idea with a good moral wrapped in entertainment. Good luck.<br /><br />Query #2--I really liked your opening line, it caught my attention immediately. I would suggest honing the descriptive paragraphs to just one and focusing on the important information, character, conflict climax. You have all the information we need right there, well stated, but I think shorter would be better.<br /><br />Great way to list the pertinent details of the title, word count and genre, it transitioned smoothly and I liked that you stated your credentials well. If you have any education, you could include that too.<br /><br />I also liked that you referenced the submission guidelines in your concluding paragraph. It makes the query sound more specific to that exact agent/editor. <br /><br />Good luck to you both.Josihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10615874450489497826noreply@blogger.com