tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post7048508986369665539..comments2023-10-30T09:45:16.159-06:00Comments on Writing on the Wall: Monday Mania--Query LetterPrecision Editing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17054725687044240043noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-80302956143040968382009-05-20T09:28:54.432-06:002009-05-20T09:28:54.432-06:00Thank you so much, everyone. I really appreciate t...Thank you so much, everyone. I really appreciate the feedback!<br /><br />-AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-41234761953644291032009-05-20T08:14:50.017-06:002009-05-20T08:14:50.017-06:00Second one for sure. The metaphorical comparisons ...Second one for sure. The metaphorical comparisons to other stories rather than the drawn out descriptions, give you the feel for the novel without bogging down with too much detail. Save the detail for when we actually have the novel in our hands.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-20362836062807044832009-05-19T13:09:00.000-06:002009-05-19T13:09:00.000-06:00I thought the second query was far clearer and mor...I thought the second query was far clearer and more direct. I'd add the word "the" before "piano," and I agree with the other commenters' edits. Good luck!Dothttp://deeperissues.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-12858557082350000572009-05-19T01:30:00.000-06:002009-05-19T01:30:00.000-06:00The second one is perfect. I want to read more!
...The second one is perfect. I want to read more! <br /><br />I'm dying to know who the author is and can't wait for follow-up. Let us know what kind of response you get!<br /><br />Good luck.Lori Folkmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12707165102926821045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-46140560012034535632009-05-18T20:59:00.000-06:002009-05-18T20:59:00.000-06:00I liked the second query. All of the names in the...I liked the second query. All of the names in the first query put me off a little.TheOneTrueSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18152442732262673983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-40581203214648158222009-05-18T14:51:00.000-06:002009-05-18T14:51:00.000-06:00Wow, well done. But, unlike the other commenters, ...Wow, well done. But, unlike the other commenters, I liked the first one. I loved the summary. However, I agree with LexiconLuvr; the second one does have more personality.<br /><br />Best of luck.Fiaunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10926061003660096037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-64414973970882909732009-05-18T12:43:00.000-06:002009-05-18T12:43:00.000-06:00I'd go with the second one, too. Just my opinion: ...I'd go with the second one, too. Just my opinion: I don't think you need to include that you're looking for representation--the fact that you're sending the query implies as much. Also, saying you'd be happy to send more material seems redundant in the same way. I'd just end with "Thank you for your consideration," or something like that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-89778997357400306902009-05-18T12:09:00.000-06:002009-05-18T12:09:00.000-06:00I think I prefer the second one too. There's a lit...I think I prefer the second one too. There's a little more flare of the personality in it, which gives me a taste of what the book might read like.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9113459088262891680.post-52359310838605568212009-05-18T11:24:00.000-06:002009-05-18T11:24:00.000-06:00This sounds pretty awesome! I vote for the second ...This sounds pretty awesome! I vote for the second query, though I'd probably cut the penultimate sentence in the third paragraph.<br /><br />I prefer the second query because it cuts to the chase. I can take or leave allusions to movies to explain a plot, but there's more immediacy in the plot description without all the details of the twists and turns.Jordan McCollumhttp://jordanmccollum.comnoreply@blogger.com