some blog tests are just cool

I confess to not be as grammatically inclined as many other authors out there. I have issues with lay and lie. I commonly leave out commas. But I know enough to be bugged by awful grammar (though, in spite of the test findings, I really do not critique people's blogs. Blogs are informal enough to not require a red pen).

I took a test and invite you all to do the same. I may not be great . . . but I got an A :) Mrs. Brown would be so proud!

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Monday Mania: First Page

One of our readers submitted the first page of a children's book she's writing. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0012:

Hannah was a princess. She was not an ordinary princess. She lived in a regular house, but to Hannah it was really a castle.

Each morning she made her royal bed and lined up her dolls on the pillow. “You must protect the castle until I return,” she commanded a soft white bear.

Hannah changed into her shimmering pink gown. Then she took her place at the grand balcony, which was really her bedroom window. “Hello, royal subjects,” she called to the children riding bikes below.

She moved to her mirror or “looking glass” as she lovingly called it. After brushing her hair, she carefully fixed a fancy silver crown on top of her head. Then she stepped into her sparkling slippers and did a ballerina twirl in the middle of the rug. Pleased with her outfit, Hannah began to feel hungry.

She tiptoed to her mother’s room.

“Oh Queen,” Hannah whispered. “I’m hungry.”

Unfortunately, her mother didn’t always look like a queen, especially in the morning. “In a minute,” her mother said with a groan.

Hannah went to the kitchen and waited. And waited. She waited at least one-hundred minutes, and still her mother didn’t come. It was just too long for a princess to wait.

She climbed onto the counter and took down the prettiest bowl. Her dress snagged the drawer, and ripped. “Uh oh,” she muttered. But that didn’t stop her search, and she found her favorite cereal. There was just enough for a hungry princess.

Monday Mania

Our on-line critique forum will be back after Thanksgiving.

If you'd like to submit a FIRST PAGE or QUERY LETTER for Monday Mania, please email us at: editor@precisioneditinggroup.com

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

(Remember, there is no bad drama at family dinners . . . just good writing material.)

Should I Give Away the Ending?

by Heather Moore

When I was a newbie, it would have killed me to give away the end of the book in a synopsis. As a reader, I never read the end first . . . so combining the two together, it seemed that if I gave away the end of my book in a synopsis I was going to ruin the reading experience.

But agents want to know the end. Recently I read a blog written by Nathan Bransford, an agent with Curtis Brown Literary. Bransford recommends that a synopsis be 2-3 pages, double spaced, unless otherwise specified by an agent or editor.

Bransford’s excellent advice includes:
“A synopsis is not an opportunity to talk about every single character and every single plot point in a "and then this happened and then this happened" fashion. A synopsis needs to do two things: 1) it needs to cover all of the major characters and major plot points (including the ending) and 2) it needs to make the work come alive. If your synopsis reads like "and then this happened and then this happened" and it's confusing and dull, well, you might want to revise that baby.”

Bransford also said, “A good place to start for a model on how to write a good synopsis is to mimic book cover copy, only also include in the synopsis what happens in the end.”

As a published writer, I understand that it’s important to be able to write a concise synopsis of your novel. Once you have a synopsis nailed down, it’s easier to write a hook or a pitch, and of course that query letter.

With my publisher, I turn in a synopsis to the editor after the book has been accepted. This synopsis goes to the committee and gives them the insight they need to position and market the book. Also the backliner and marketing blurbs are easier to put together with a handy synopsis. Like Josi, I write the synopsis after I’ve finished the manuscript. Too many things can change if you write it while your book is still in progress. Josi also cautioned writers against holding back what happens at the end of their novels.

So, to make a long blog short. Go ahead. Spill the ending.

When No Criticism Is Bad News

by Annette Lyon

As I judged a writing contest this last week, several commonalities struck me about the entries.

A few things cropped up over and over again:

• Point of View issues: No point of view. Or poor execution of point of view. Or some funky version of an omniscient narrator. None of which worked.
• Telling instead of showing, which is especially weak when it’s during moments that should be tense or emotional.
• Punctuation mistakes. Not only were sentences punctuated incorrectly (which editors hate), but a lot of the time the wrong punctuation made the text plain old hard to decipher. Good punctuation acts as sign posts so the reader knows what belongs where, who’s doing what, and where the pauses belong. It’s worth learning how to do it right.
• Awkward or stilted dialogue.
• “It was all a dream” cop-out endings.
• Starting in a boring place—often way too early—and including lots of extra back story and other elements that didn’t belong to the core story.
• Padding sentences with extra baggage, like the piece that used the term, “a forest of trees.” (As opposed to what, a forest of pretzels?)

As I made my way through the entries and jotted notes in the margins, I found a pattern: The worst entries had very little red ink, while best ones were covered with my scribbles.

At first that made no sense.

After a little reflection, the reason dawned on me: The best entries were ready for polishing. I could indicate redundancies, awkward sentences, or motivation issues. I could make concrete suggestions for improving a paragraph or a description. These authors knew enough to take such suggestions and run with them. They have the basics down and just need someone to point the way down the path and give them a nudge to get going.

What I’ll call the “non-winning” entries were on a different level altogether, and not in a good way. The majority had major problems—problems that went beyond what I could suggest or help with in a quick margin note. With these writers,“Show this,” “Begin with the moment of change,” or, “Be sure to keep a consistent point of view,” would be like speaking a foreign language to them.

So I had to sit and stare at those stories to figure out what to say to their creators. Where do you begin to point out a path to someone when they aren’t even on the map? To use a different metaphor, I can’t suggest how to decorate a house when the foundation isn’t even in place.

I tried to give some kind of constructive suggestions to everyone, but it was tough. The non-winning folks got a lot of “fun image”-type comments and have large sections with no red ink at all, while the winning entries almost look like I bled on them.

I feel bad about that; I hope the winners don’t get discouraged but instead see the feedback as a chance to grow and improve as writers.

Next time you enter a contest or get feedback from an agent or editor, keep this in mind: The more specific the criticism, chances are, the better writer you are. If you stunk, there would be no way to point out every weakness; the judge/editor/agent on the other end wouldn’t know where to start.

The moral of today’s post: Never look at feedback as merely cutting you down. Instead, open your arms and let it in. It only goes to show that you’re already good, and weighing the suggestions carefully will only make you better.

Know Your Audience

I was running the register in our store a few weeks ago and the last customer had just left when my husband came in from the back door and joined me behind the counter. A thrill of that high-school-girl-in-love shivered through me when his hot breath on the back of my neck turned into a soft lingering kiss.

I turned, anticipating a romantic interlude, but what I got instead was triumph. His eyes glittered with knowledge. "THAT," he said. "Is why Stephenie Meyer's Twilight is a best seller."

I blinked. "What?" I wanted to slap him outright for making me think romantically when he was only using me as a test market.

Then he pinned me to the counter and ran his finger down my jawline and kissed me again. Dang, but he's good. I almost did slap him, but had to catch my breath.

He laughed. "See?" he said. "She caters to the romantic inklings of every silly girl in America." Then I raised my fist. A slap wouldn't be good enough. He needed to be punched since I was one of those silly American girls. He grinned. "Not that I don't like kissing you, babe. I do, but I listened to the audio book of Twilight and found that the plot is lame, and nothing happens except for some girl living out her fantasy of having a superhero type guy smother her in soft hormone-inducing kisses."

My husband is all detached logic, and I really was fuming by this point since I really liked Twilight. I told him it had a brilliant plot.

"Ah, but what is the plot?" he asked.

"A young girl falls in love with a vampire and . . . and . . ."

He's making fun of me now. "And what?"

"Well, there's that other vampire that tries to kill her . . ."

"Not until the end, and she passes out for that--which is one of the lamest things ever. The story finally gets exciting and the main character sleeps through it? No, babe. The book sold well because it caters to female hormones."

I see his point of view. And as much as I still want to punch the man . . . he has a good point. But I don't think this is a bad thing. If you're writing a best seller and you cater to the audience for which you write . . . that's still brilliance in my book.

And the fact that each girl reading the book felt as if Edward's kisses were on her neck, is proof in the power of "show--don't tell."

We can all take a lesson from this and know the audience we're catering to, and make the book riveting enough that our audience feels that they--personally--are experiencing it.

Monday Mania: Query Letter

One of our readers submitted her query letter. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0011:

Dear Agent,

I hope you’ll find interest in Queen, a 120,000 word thriller that brings together a lethal plot, captivating history, and one toxic legend of the Queen of Sheba.

Undercover Israeli agent, Omar Zagouri, is a man who hates his job and wants to kill his boss for stealing his girlfriend. When he stumbles onto a tomb in Northern Jerusalem, he unknowingly discovers the final clue in the legend of the Queen of Sheba. Omar is thrown into the heart of deception as wealthy collectors, seedy government officials, and ruthless archaeologists scramble to find the queen’s tomb. Will Omar be able to prevent the greatest discovery of the century from becoming the most deadly?

Woven in this modern-day thriller is the story of the Queen of Sheba in ancient Arabia. Drawing on my own experience of living in the Middle East as well as extensive research, this novel unites myth with possibility.

My publishing credits include a four-volume hardcover historical series set in 600 B.C. Arabia.

I’ve enclosed the opening pages of Queen. I appreciate your time.


Sincerely,