Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments. 

 Critique Archive #53 

Dear Ms.  ****  ,

            The Ninth has been chosen and the Shadow Wraiths have been summoned to destroy him. . . .

It’s normal for sixteen-year-old Macy Burdow to be awakened in the middle of the night to fight off demons; she’s a member of the Chosen, a group of humans selected to protect mankind from the monsters of the Hidden Race. But tonight is no ordinary night in the life of a Chosen. The Ninth has been discovered and Forrest Bastian, Macy's Watcher, has been elected to train and protect the child of prophecy. But when Bastian is murdered the responsibility of teaching and training the Ninth falls to Macy; except Tolen Parks is no small child, he’s seventeen, a clueless wimp, and Macy blames him for Bastian’s death. How can she train and protect someone she hates?

Macy must overcome her resentment, see Tolen for who he truly is and fulfill her role in his destiny. If she doesn’t the demons of the Dark will not stop until they kill him. Without the Ninth the delicate balance between the human and Hidden worlds will collapse and allow the release of an army of evil with a single goal—to destroy the human race and claim this world as their own. . . .

THE LEGEND OF THE NINTH CHOSEN: THE SHADOW PRISON is a 90,000 word YA Contemporary Fantasy, grounded in reality, that pulls the reader in with action, suspense, and a touch of romance; while showing through the points of view of both Macy and Tolen that love, friendship, and loyalty are the most powerful weapons in the war against evil.

I have published a short story with ….  and when I’m not spending time with my husband and two boys camping, watching Ice Age and Merlin marathons, or playing with our motley crew of animals, I’m daydreaming, writing, painting, or volunteering with a local youth group of twelve to eighteen-year-old girls. I enjoy reading many of your book suggestions on goodreads and I would like to think my style compares to that of Lesley Livingston and Ally Condie. I hope my novel can find a place with you as well.  

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

****Author

            

New releases!

If you have a new release and you are a blog follower or editing client, please let us know! We are happy to make the announcement here.

Congratulations to Curtis Moser, for MEMOIRS OF A BAD DOG:

Congratulations to Lu Ann Staheli for A NOTE WORTH TAKING:

New releases by our blog followers!

If you have a new release and you are a blog follower or editing client, please let us know!

Congrats to the following:

Annette Lyon for PAIGE (The Newport Ladies Book Club series)

Gary Carlson for RELIGION AND SCIENCE IN THE LAST DAYS

Melanie Jacobson for TWITTERPATED

And Josi Kilpack for DAISY (The Newport Ladies Book Club series)

Boot Camp at the 2012 League of Writers Conference

In lieu of our next Live Critique Workshop this fall, PEG editors will be running the Writers Boot Camp at the 2012 League of Utah Writers Conference.


Boot Camp Details:
September 14, 2012
1:00-5:00 p.m.
Yarrow Hotel and Conference Center in Park City, Utah
Boot Camp price: $35.00
*In advance, you will send in 10 pages of your manuscript, see link below for more info

Register for Boot Camp here



Register for full conference here, Boot Camp Sept 14 & Workshops Sept 15


Speakers include NY Times Best Selling Authors: Barry Eisler, Brandon Sanderson, and Richard Paul Evans

Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments. 

 Critique Archive #52 

Dear Ms./Mr. Agent,

When Jared McAlister, in New York on business, sees the woman he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with walking down the street, all his anger and unanswered questions come flooding back. Why did Cecelia Chadwick disappear without a word and why did she lead him to believe they had a future together only to vanish? Jared is a successful attorney at the largest law firm in Dallas. As he tries to curb the spending habits of his girlfriend, who is pressuring him to ‘pop’ the question, he also fights against a domineering father. But when he sees the girl he believed would share his future in the city he hates, he finds his quests for unanswered questions isn’t as strong as his desire to be with her again.

Cecelia is a talented interior designer, making her mark in the Big Apple after years of hard work, yet she leads a lonely life, unable to move on from her first love, her only love and unwilling to settle for less. As Jared fights for a new beginning, Cecelia struggles to leave the past behind—both unaware they are being followed and money will change hands for Cecelia to disappear again.

ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK is my first novel. At 110,000 words, I believe it will appeal to contemporary romance fans. I’m beginning to build a platform with Facebook and Twitter. I’m in the early stages of learning to blog and my next step will be a website. I follow and interact with numerous authors on blogs, Facebook, by email, and on Goodreads. I’m an avid reader and a passionate writer with many stories to tell.

I appreciate your time in considering my query. I have included the first ten pages of my novel, my synopsis, and a brief bio. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Author
Address
 Phone

Mid-West Writers Conference

This is a brand new conference, but it's run by members of the fabulous Storymakers conference (held in Utah annually).

Details taken from Laurie Lewis's blog:

Midwest Writers Conference
Registration is now open!

Date: Saturday, September 15th, 2012
Time: 8 am – 9 pm
Location: Holiday Inn – Olathe (101 W. 151st St., Olathe, KS) 913-829-4000 *Discounted hotel rooms are available for $78/night. Please reference the Storymakers Writers Conference when you call to make a reservation.
Registration Fee: $95, includes all classes, lunch, dinner, and conference materials.


We’re excited to announce our Keynote Speaker:
Lisa Mangum
 (Editor for Deseret Book & Shadow Mountain and Best-Selling Author of The Hourglass Door series)


We’re also delighted to have the following authors as presenters:

Traci Hunter Abramson


Don Carey


  Karen Hoover

Heather Justesen


Josi Kilpack


Laurie (L.C.) Lewis


  Steve Westover

 Pitch your latest story to Lisa Mangum. Appointments are available on a first come first served basis. Meet your favorite authors at the Friday night Authorpalooza. Network with other writers across the Midwest.

Sign up for a day full of awesomeness! Register here: https://storymakersconference.myshopify.com/

Upcoming Writers Conferences

WIFYR:

For all children's authors seeking to be published and/or improve their work, The Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Conference is not to be missed. Held at the Waterford School in Sandy, Utah, June 18-22, the five-day conference offers nine morning workshops with experienced author, editor, or illustrator manuscript critiques. The faculty includes Cynthia and Greg Leitich Smith, Matthew Kirby, Tim Wynne-Jones, A. E. Cannon, Carol Lynch Williams, Ann Dee Ellis, Covenant Communications editor Kirk Shaw, Illustrator Julie Olsen, and many others. The conference also offers an afternoon-only option. This year WIFYR is sponsoring a Writing Competition and Fellowship Award with a $1000 cash prize. Contest deadline is April 20th. For details, go to WIFYR.com


The Teen Writers Conference
Registration is now open! Keynote speaker is Elana Johnson. Other speakers include many award-winning authors. Deadline to register is June 15, 2012.
When: Saturday, June 23, 2012
Where: Weber State University
Who: Teens, ages 13-19
Writing Contest!

Register at THE Teen Writers Conference website.