Show Not Tell Homework

A popular post from February 2010

by Annette Lyon

I'm stealing from myself today. I thought some of the material from the creative writing class I taught last week might be useful for Writing on the Wall readers.

We talked about the old adage, "Show not tell" and how to apply that in your writing.

What I didn't know early on in my writing journey is that there are lots of ways to show. Had someone explained it to me clearly, I could have been spared a lot of grief (and likely, rejections).

Showing Scenes

Sometimes we need a mini scene to see and learn that this character is a workaholic or this one is a computer genius or that one is a great chef. Put your characters into the moment and let us watch them do their thing.

Let us see that Phil is the only person in the company who can find and fix the bug in the program. We'll figure out that he's the smart computer dude.

Alternately, if someone has a personality trait, a scene revealing that trait is far more effective than just telling us the person is kind or loud or simply a jerk. In other words, give the reader a scene where the character is interacting with others and behaving in a kind way or being loud or treating others like a jerk.

In other words, give your reader the breadcrumbs (the clues) and assume they're smart enough to figure out that this behavior in this scene means that Ashley is a snob. But you never ever used the word, "snob."

This does a couple of things: your reader isn't talked down to (you're assuming they're smart) and you're making the story alive. You're breathing life into the characters.

In other words, you're showing, not telling.

Specificity

I did an entire post some time ago about specificity. In short, it's a micro way of showing. In these cases, we don't need an entire scene or even a paragraph here. Sometimes all you'll do is replace a single word with one or two more specific ones.

A bird didn't fly overhead; a seagull did.

A car didn't drive pull into the driveway, but a yellow Jeep did.

Your character isn't enjoying a great meal; he can't get enough of the 3-cheese lasagna and garlic bread.

The more specific you are, the more your reader can be immersed in the story.

Sensory Details

Sensory details are another great way to show. They put the reader right in the same location with your POV character. The reader experiences the same thing vicariously because you made it so real.

Imagine a specific location: say parking garage, a hospital, or a cemetery.

What do you notice about it besides things you see?

Smell: The parking garage might smell of oil, the hospital of disinfectant, and the cemetery like freshly cut grass or flowers.

Sound: In the parking garage, you'll likely hear fans blowing out the exhaust fumes, car engines, squealing tires, the click-click of high heels on the concrete and maybe even voices echoing. Depending on the area of the hospital, you could hear beeps of machines, announcements over the intercom, elevator doors, beds squeaking along the halls, TVs in patient rooms, and more. And the cemetery could be silent save for the breeze in the oak over there (we're being specific, right? So it's not a tree) or maybe there's the hum of cars on the street in the distance or a single mourner crying next to a headstone.

Feeling: This one can go a couple directions, both toward emotions (what's the overall FEEL of the place?) as well as the actual sense of feeling or touch. The parking garage may be cold, with dim lighting, and feel claustrophobic. The hospital could feel sterile (in more ways than one). A writer could describe pushing open a heavy door to see a patient, the hard mattress, the thin blankets. And since a cemetery is outside, what you feel would depend largely on the season (summer versus winter, rain or hail, a breeze or sweltering heat, etc.).

Taste: A sense writers often forget about. It's a powerful one, so I don't recommend using it all the time, but it's one to remember because it can pack such a great punch. Think through the locations and what someone might taste in them: the parking garage (even the flavor of a person's gum might taste different with the fumes in there), the hospital (oy, the food . . .), and the cemetery.

General rule of thumb: Try to use at least one other sense besides sight on every page. And change up which sense you're using: don't always use sound, which comes in second behind sight. Be creative: try for taste and smell too, and don't forget touch.

A Challenge:

Here's the homework I gave to my class this week. It's a great exercise to learn how to show rather than tell.

Write THREE showing paragraphs:

1) An emotion. But you aren't allowed to say what it is. (For example, show fear without ever using "afraid" or "scared" or anything like them.)

2) A location or setting. Don't ever name the location; we should be able to figure out where you are by the fantastic showing description.

3) An act. Show a character doing something. We should be able to know what it is without the act being named. (Examples: baking cookies, changing oil in the car, putting on makeup, mowing the lawn.)

My Audience

A popular post from October 2009

By Julie Wright

Reviews are of the devil. No really. They are.

And I'm not just saying that bad reviews are of the devil. I think most reviews are. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE getting glowing reviews. Really. Love it! But I despise the evil reviews, the ones where someone who is NOT your target audience bemoans your story, characters, YOU. I've had reviews that have made me cry. I've also had reviews that made me feel like I was earth shatteringly amazing.

Both sides are a little jaded. And the emotional roller coaster that comes with reading your own reviews is not a safe place for most writers. The incredible highs and abysmal lows are things other, normal people get medicated for. Bi-polar anyone?

I think reviews are good (and necessary) for the reader, but not a benefit (for the most part) to the writer. Readers need reviews so they know what they want to read next. Writers don't need to know what is in their book. They wrote it. They already know.

Maybe you're different, but what happens to me when I read a bad review is akin to writer's block. I can't move. I can't think well enough to type. I feel this awful pit in my stomach that seems it might never go away. A bad review could set me off for a couple of hours, or a couple of days, depending on the review and the moody mood I'm in when I read it.

What happens when I read a good review is akin to writer's block. I can't move. I can't think well enough to type. I feel this insane euphoria as I bask in my own brilliance. A good review could set me off for a couple of hours, or a couple of days, depending on the review and the moody mood I'm in when I read it.

See what I mean? Of. The. Devil.

So what do I do to avoid this review roller coaster? Try not to read them—that is how I handle it. It might be a little head in the sand, but I feel emotionally unstable enough without other people projecting their admiration or scorn on me. I used to read them all the time, like a bizarre obsession. The great reviews sent me soaring. The bad reviews made me crawl under my covers with ice cream and a spoon. I can’t afford either extreme so I just don’t read them anymore.

I had a friend recently lamenting over three stars on their review. Three out of five stars isn’t bad though. It means the reader liked the book and might even recommend the book to others. It doesn’t mean they would pull the book out of their burning house if they only had time to save only one thing, but that they read the book and enjoyed it for what it was.

I’ve also come to conclude that I write to the people who love what I write. They are my audience. But not everyone will love what I write—and that is okay. I am not writing to everyone. I’m writing to my audience.

Scatter Plots

A popular post from August 2011

By Julie Wright

Last week I was sitting on the couch catching up on my reading and my daughter was doing her homework on the floor in front of me. She mumbled the phrase, "scatterplots."

I looked down because whatever she was saying had something to do with plots and that always catches my attention. Turns out she was doing math. She tried to explain scatter plots as being a bunch of points on a graph. She tried to explain what those points did or why anyone cared they were on a graph, but all I heard was blah blah blah. It was math. I do not get math at all.

But it did get me to thinking about a book I read last year that will remain nameless. If I were to give that book a one word summary, scatterplots would do quite nicely.

They were tons of various plots in this book, which is okay--a book with several subplots has depth and provides a richer reading experience. However, none of these were even remotely related. You almost felt side-swiped when a new one showed up. This was the sort of plot structure that left you scratching your head and saying, "What was that? Where did that come from?" And not in the tone that would indicate that the new element was cool or anything, but more a tone of, "I am returning this book to the bookstore and demanding a refund."

Wiki says that: a plot is all the events in a story particularly rendered toward the achievement of some particular artistic or emotional effect or general theme.

A plot answers all those why and what questions. And like I said, it's good to have a main plot and then several subplots because that layering adds depth to your manuscript. But the plots need to work together in a way that makes sense. Characters have to have motivation for moving along in a plot line.

And beware coincidence. coincidence is not your friend. I know that coincidence happens in reality (ask me to tell you about the story of my husband and I getting together sometime). Believe me; I know coincidence happens in reality, but it's a cheater tool in fiction unless you can masterfully hide it under motivation and circumstance.

Plot is the result of your characters, their conflicts, and the way they handle--or don't handle--their conflicts. For me plot works best when it is dictated by the character's choices, their wants, needs, fears, but then I am a character driven writer. Some people are plot driven writers, which means they are driven by the circumstances surrounding a character. But you don't want so many different plots that the character becomes imprisoned by them all. And you don't want all those plots to be so unconnected that the reader is rolling their eyes enough to make themselves dizzy. All the plots need to blend in a way that makes sense.

So how do you avoid scatterplots? How do you blend them together into something believable? I promise it is worth your time to watch the video. Dan Wells can show you the way:
Dan Wells on Plot Structure

Pay Attention. Remember.

A popular post from September 2011

by Annette Lyon

One of your main jobs as a writer is to keep your eyes and ears open, all the time. You never know what random bit of information you gleaned from a newscast, documentary, conversation, novel, or something else entirely, will be just the bit you need for a story.

At various times, the following pieces of information have proven useful in my work (whether that's reading, editing, or writing), all of which I've learned from paying attention as my life moves along.

• Portuguese doesn't sound like Italian.
• Some houses can't have basements because of a high water table.
• You can't shoot the lock off a door.
• The typical length of a picture book is 32 pages.
• Bleeding arteries don't trickle or run; they pump in spurts.
• Many Southern California apartments don't have heating.
• In-N-Out Burgers has a minimal menu.
• In the Salt Lake City Airport, arriving passengers come down an escalator to meet family.
• Bruises turn yellow when they've almost healed.
• Almost anything can be poisonous in the right amount.
• If you break your nose, you may become nauseated from blood draining into your stomach.
• A canyon near my home has a great running trail, and in the fall, the trail is surrounded by gold leaves.
• The carpet in a local ICU has a swirly blue pattern.
• A small rock, when thrown, can cause a cut big enough to need stitches.
• A childhood friend's father used to sing silly songs in a voice mimicking Kermit the Frog.

I could go on and on. If you're a curious writer, you probably could too. That's a good thing.

As a writer, you should be constantly paying attention. An incomplete list of what that can mean:

• Eavesdropping on public conversations.
• Noticing smells.
• Paying attention to sounds, both indoors and outdoors.
• Taking note of colors: on the mountains, paint on the walls, clothing, hair, etc.
• Mentally cataloging quirks of speech.
• Thinking up ways to describe things (sights, sensations, etc.)
• Watching professionals as they work, including their behaviors, choices, and vocabulary.

And so on.

If you're the curious type, you likely run a Google search for random things at random times. You wonder "what if" and "why" and you aren't satisfied with generic answers. You look up one thing online and end up staying there for an hour, following links as you learn a bunch of new things.

Instead of apologizing for being "weird," embrace the idiosyncrasy and fill up the well of detail that's inside you.

Why? Because when you're sitting at the keyboard, getting ready write, you need a well to draw from. Of course you don't need to know everything when you sit down. Far from it. You can always leave blanks to research and fill in later. (I do that all the time.)

But if you have been actively filling up your well with vivid images, sounds, smells, and ideas, your writing will flow out of your fingers quicker and smoother than it would otherwise. You'll find yourself making connections you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. Your story will be richer.

If your well is empty, you'll have nothing to draw from.

So: Watch. Listen. Read.

Above all, pay attention and remember.

SOME FUN NEWS:

If you have heard about it yet, be sure to check out the newest writing podcast, specifically about middle-grade books. It's called Wordplay, and the three hosts are awesome: critique group member J. Scott Savage, New York Times best-selling writers James Dashner, and literary agent-turned novelist Nathan Bransford.

Alpha Readers and Beta Readers

A popular post from 2011

I was recently looking for beta readers for my most recent book when a friend of mine asked me if I had already used alpha readers. I blinked stupidly at her and told her I'd never heard the term. She explained what she meant and I realized that was basically what I used beta readers for--so we have a synonym issue; two words, same definition. Like child and kid (not the goat kind...moving on)

So, then I did a little research to see what the world at google-large thinks and here's what I found:

Alpha Reader:
*The first people to read the book, often while it's being written who help you craft the story as it develops.
*Someone who reads the book before anyone else in regard to how it works on an industry level, often a published author or expert in the genre your writing.

My comments: Well, I happen to have a writing group who helps me chapter by chapter so that means I have alpha readers--who knew? I've never used the second type of alpha reader. It sounds to me like an alpha reader would have to have some understanding of craft since they are either helping you develop the story or they are reading it as compared to other similar works. So here's my definition:

Alpha reader: Craft-savvy readers who either assist in the development of the book as it is being written, or can help with the industry-specific aspects when it is finished.

Beta Reader:
*Someone who will read the manuscript in its entirety after it's finished who will offer discerning advice on how to best prepare it for your editor.
*Not necessarily a professional editor
*Often has a specific focus, expertise, or experience.

My comments: This was my understanding of beta readers and I have a very good pool of them I alternate between for my books. I try not to overwhelm any of them by asking them to do every book because I'm writing 2+ a year. I also have a basic agreement that if they beta read for me, they get a free copy of the book AND I will reciprocate by being a beta reader for them. Some of my beta readers are writers, but not all of them. I find beta readers who are just 'readers' to be very helpful since they don't get caught up in line or craft things. That said, writers catch things that a reader never would so having a variety of perspectives is helpful. So here's my definition:

Beta Reader: Someone who reads the manuscript after its completed prior to submission who then gives feedback on the overall book based on their perspective.

A few more thoughts on beta readers:
*Have at least two. Unless your mother is Dr. Laura who will tell you the honest truth whether you like it or not, she should not be a beta reader.
*Too many beta readers can become obnoxious, you have to go through each of their feedback.
*If a beta reader doesn't give you useful feedback, consider them strongly before you send them another manuscipt.
*A good beta reader will help you identify things you couldn't see on your own.
*A great beta reader will give you suggestions on how to fix it.
*Every manuscript should go through beta readers before its submitted.

What did I miss?

Happy writing!

Help Me Focus!

A popular post from November 2011, very relevant today!

by Annette Lyon

First off: To all you NaNo-ers out there, keep pushing on this last day! Congratulations to all the winners out there; celebrate your accomplishment!

I have had a hard time focusing lately. That includes work on my writing, my editing, and even attention to housework and (worse!) to my family.

Many things can be blamed for it, among them the legitimate issues of ADD and chronic pain.

But life must go on. I need to write and edit. More, I need to make sure my family actually eats and has clean underwear.

I've found a some things to help, some of which don't make much sense at first glance. In hopes that some of them may help you, here's a list:

White Noise

Yes, Virginia, it really does help you focus. At least, it does for someone with ADD. My son (who inherited it from Mom, alas) discovered Simply Noise, which has several free options. The basic choices are all essentially what's known as "white noise" but which all sound slightly different. The variations are called white, pink, and brown noise.

Brown noise is my favorite (and my son's, too). I find myself able to focus on a project and get a lot more done in less time while listening to it.

The site also has other sounds, downloadable for a small fee, like ocean waves and a thunderstorm.

A To-do List

People who follow me on Facebook are aware of this one: I have a list of things I want to accomplish in a month. Yes, a month. Big-picture, yet concrete, goals are easier for me to handle than specific ones I have to get done today. With monthly goals, I can look at the list and decide what I can do now.

It's a hard-copy list in a notebook, so I have the bonus of using a bright orange Sharpie to cross out items as I do them.

Major sense of accomplishment!

Accountability

I have a writer friend who has also become my accountability buddy. At the beginning of each month, we email one another our progress on last month's goals and our goals for the upcoming month.

This provides an outside source of accomplishment (getting ego strokes from someone outside my brain helps a ton), and it's also an extra motivation to reach the goals I sent her before. Saying, "Yeah, well, I totally dropped the ball on all my goals" isn't going to cut it.

Meeting with my critique group helps here too. I need to have pages to read when I show up, so I'd better write some.

Minimizing Distractions

For me, that means the Internet. I can sit at my computer with great intentions to do X, Y, and even Z on my to-do list. Then I check email, Twitter, Facebook, and news links, and next thing I know, I've blown two hours.

There's a reason a product exists where you pay for it to disable your Internet connection for determined periods so you can focus on your work.

At one point I wondered if a smart phone would help. (For years, I have a simple candy-bar style phone that did nothing fancier than text.) I figured that if I got online updates while away from my computer, I wouldn't feel as tied to it. Then, when I did sit down at my desk, maybe I'd get more work done.

It was just a theory. Until now. Due to a set of unforeseen circumstances, I got to open my Christmas present early: a shiny new iPhone.

It's done exactly what I predicted: I don't feel the same urge to sit at my desk just to make sure I don't miss something. My kitchen is cleaner than it has been in a while. I got more reading in today. And more writing in. And research. Oh, and I wrote this blog post.

I think this is the most I've accomplished in one day in, well, a really long time.

A Timer

One element I didn't expect to help me on my iPhone, but which has: setting alarms. I'll set it 30 minutes out, and suddenly I can stay on task. When the phone rings, I get to do something else, if whatever I'm doing feels hard. Or, on the flip side, if I have only X amount of minutes to accomplish such-and-such, I'll buckle down and work hard. Great tool, and one I'm sure I'll be using more.

What helps you focus?

Dear Author . . .

A popular post from October 2011

By Julie Wright

“I spent a bit of time perusing the Dear Author for the romance category boards over on Amazon. It was hilarious . . . until it wasn't.

I'm in the process of editing one of my earlier manuscripts that I've received my rights back from the publisher. I knew the writing was rough because I was young when I wrote the book and inexperienced as a writer. I had no idea how bad it truly was until I got two sentences into the edit.

Sad that it only took two sentences for me to start rolling my eyes. I actually would have been eye-rolling at the first four words except I was too shocked to be capable of the eye-roll.

I made a lot of mistakes in those first books, mistakes that would instigate the words, "Dear author . . . Please don't . . ."

It's important to remember your audience and to read enough in the genre in which you're writing so you understand the cliche's and sand-traps of that genre. Basically, what I'm saying is . . . learn your craft.

I was so glad to have been published with those first couple of books, so excited to be an "author," that I jumped in before I was ready. Was it a mistake? Maybe. Maybe I never would have published and worked to get better if I hadn't had those first books come out the way they did. Or maybe I would have kept writing until I grew in my craft and had a first book release that would have stunned the world. Who knows? Twelve novels later, I am a much different writer today than I was ten years ago. I hope to keep improving and growing and BECOMING.  For now, I am editing and eye-rolling. And paying close attention to notes like, "dear author . . ."

Feel free to peruse the Dear Author board on Amazon for yourself:

Dear Author . . .

And do you have any memos you wish you could say to authors in general? Things you wish they'd stop doing or do more of?