Close vs. Distant POV

A popular post from March 2010. 

by Annette Lyon

It's come to my attention that in all our posts about point of view, that we've never covered the concept of close third person versus distant third person.

Time to remedy the oversight!

Most contemporary fiction written in third person (he said this; she did that) is written in a pretty close point of view. It's probably what you're used to reading. For that matter, if you look at the Writing on the Wall archives, close third and first person are the two points of view that generally apply.

But what is close third?

To start defining the term, let's first describe distant third person.

Distant Third Person

Point of view, of course, is the lens through which the writer (or the narrator voice) tells the story. For a moment, think of that lens as a movie camera standing back from the action but hanging in the air over a character's head.

The camera captures what the POV character sees, and perhaps what the POV character hears. However, for the most part, the narrative is separate and apart from the character and what he or she is feeling or experiencing. It's objective, not making interpretations.

The camera can certainly show an amazing fight sequence. We won't be privy to the POV character's thoughts, feelings, and so forth about it, but we'll see a great movie in our heads.

It's almost like a journalist reporting the events in vivid detail, sitting perched on that camera.

The camera can get more distant, pulling back to the point that we can't even tell much about the POV character at all, or it can get a bit closer, perhaps letting us in on gestures and other behaviors.

But there's always a barrier; the reader stays outside the POV character's head.

Close Third Person

Just as with distant third, close third has degrees of closeness. A very close (or tight) third person POV will be so entrenched in the POV character's head that the reader knows their every thought, feeling, smell, taste, sound, touch, reaction, facial expression, motivation, and more.

A slightly less tight POV will show emotions and senses, but might not get so tightly ingrained in the character's psyche. Again, it's a matter of degrees. Just how close are you to the character, emotionally, psychologically, and otherwise?

In a sense, all variations of third person are about degrees of closeness, and the same book could have varying degrees.

For example, an opening paragraph of a chapter could be very distant as the reader is introduced to a location, say a snowy mountain scape. Then the "camera" pans closer to the POV character huddled a cave trying to stay warm. The closer we get, the more we know about what that character is thinking, feeling, doing, planning.

Some people argue that if you're going for an extremely tight third person, then you might as well be writing in first person, since that POV is just as tight, if not tighter. (If the character is telling the story, you're totally in their head, right?)

The problem with that argument is that a story in first person has limitations of its own, among them this biggie: your first person POV character must be present in every single scene, and you can never, ever, show anything from anyone else's POV.

That said, first person is a popular POV, and many fantastic books have been written in it. Just be certain it's the right one for your story before you commit to it. (Rewriting a book with a new POV is as big a task as writing an entirely new book. Trust me on this one; been there, done that.)

Ask yourself whether your book would be stronger if you could show a scene from another POV, such as the antagonist's, a parent's, or a friend's.

If so, opt for a tight third instead of first. That way, you get most of the benefits of first person (you're right in their head) without the restrictions.

Another caveat:

Don't cheat with first person. Readers will be seriously annoyed if something the POV character knows isn't revealed to them as well. After all, they're in the POV character's head, so they should know everything that character does.

Some rules of thumb with point of view:

• Don't have too many POV characters per book. A common number is between two and five. Some genres lean toward fewer POVs (such as romance), while others can handle more (such as epic fantasy). Know your genre and its expectations. Avoid too many if you can, simply because keeping track of them and readjusting to a new POV can be taxing on the reader.
• Maintain ONE point of view per scene. Don't be tightly in Jane's head and then flip to a John's head (tight or otherwise) mid-scene. That's disorienting and unnerving to the reader, who is trying to keep track of who is thinking and feeling what, and exactly which lens to interpret the story through.
• Separate point of view shifts with scene shifts (and visual markers like asterisks) and/or chapter breaks.

Is Self-Publishing for You?

A popular post from March 2010. 

by Heather Moore


I invited Sarah Eden to share her journey of deciding to self-publish nine novels and her recent decision to go with a traditional publisher.

Her first book launch for her “traditionally published” book will be on Friday, March 12 at the Deseret Book in Orem, Utah, 6:00–8:00 p.m., 1076 S. 750 E. (Along with two other authors, our own Annette Lyon, and Julie Bellon)

Thanks, Sarah!


*********************************

In the words of the immortal William Shakespeare, “The course of getting published never did run smooth.” I may have paraphrased a little.

Ask any serious writer about getting published and the reaction you get will invariably go something like this: "Well...” (Shudders/cringes/twitches) “It's tough. I get a lot of...” (muscles back a groan/sob/word-the-author's-mother-would-blush-to-hear) “rejections.” (a tell-tale muscle tic begins somewhere on author's face)

This is a brutal industry. I'm twitching just writing about it.

I write “sweet” historical romance. The sweet part has a double meaning: suh-weet, as in insurmountably cool and sweet, as in not smutty. Believe it or not, the second kind of sweetness got in the way of the first kind of sweetness during my course toward publication.

A few years back I jumped feet first into the shark-infested waters of the national romance market. The responses I received began to blur together. “I love your writing. Your characters are enjoyable. Your plot is intriguing, etc., etc., etc.” Sounds great, right? Not entirely. After these encouraging evaluations came the same phrase: “but I don't represent/am not interested in 'sweet' romances.” Trying to get published began to feel a lot like exercise—no matter how hard I tried I was always left with a big but.

After finishing off my third carton of self-medicating ice cream in as many days, I began investigating the black sheep of the book industry: Self-publishing.

I discovered some very interesting things.

*Self-publishing comes in 3 basic flavors: traditional, print-on-demand and the vanity press

*Traditional: Author takes manuscript to a printer, negotiates the price to have a set number of books printed, takes books home to store in garage and sell via website/appearances/the occasional negotiation with a bookstore

* Print-on-demand: Author formats manuscript according to POD company's specifications, a price-per-book is determined based on book measurements & length, books are printed by company when a purchase is made, book is shipped to customer

*Vanity press: “publishing” company agrees to publish author's book if author provides a portion of the publishing cost

*Self-published authors don't get a lot of props from the industry at large. “Wannabe,” “not a real author,” “not talented enough to get published 'for real'” are among the nicer things I've heard.

* Self-publishing is not a good way to earn money as an author. The profit margin is exceptionally small and a self-published author doesn't sell a lot of books.

Over the next three years, I self-published nine titles using POD self-publishing. I chose CreateSpace, the print-on-demand arm of Amazon. I sold books on Amazon and at writer's conferences, but otherwise had very little exposure—a common problem for a self-published author.

For me, self-publishing was always a step in the journey and never the final destination. With each book I put out, I hoped that it would somehow find its way into the hands of someone who could help me find a publisher who was interested in the kind of book I wrote.

My novel, Seeking Persephone, was a finalist for a 2008 Whitney Award—one of the few competitions that allows self-published works. As a result of this bit of good fortune, I met a fellow-writer (you know who you are) who suggested I give a certain small press a try that was known for publishing books with my brand of sweetness.

The rest, as they say, is history. Looking back on this journey, I realize I've collected a few nuggets of wisdom that just might guide an author thinking of trying their hand at self-publishing.

* Have realistic expectations. Most self-published authors will barely break even.

* Believe in yourself and your work. Self-published authors enter the industry at a disadvantage—they are disregarded, overlooked and, at times, never given a chance to prove themselves. If you are willing to put your work out there and endure the ups and downs, some amazing things can happen.

* Do your homework. Find out what you need from a self-publisher in terms of budget, product, an ISBN, an online purchasing option, etc. Choose the self-publishing method and company that fits your needs best.

* Keep an open mind. Perhaps self-publishing will prove ideal for you and your book. Perhaps it is only part of the journey. Know what your goals are and work toward them.

Satisfaction in Self Editing

A popular post from March 2010. 

By Julie Wright

Many years ago, I met Carole Thayne Warburton. It was her first book signing and she was the author scheduled to sign after me at the bookstore. She seemed shy and nervous, so I stayed a little while longer and chatted with her. She was wonderful and I was glad to get to know her. She told me a little story about her path to publication. She'd spent a long time in the editorial process. Her editor kept sending back her manuscript and saying, "Good, but now we need this changed . . ."

I'm sure my eyes were huge and I felt angry on her behalf. And I asked her, "Weren't you furious having to rewrite that many times?"

Her response has stayed with me and kept me company on many a long night of editing: "I was at first. But every time they sent it back to me, I took it as a challenge to make the manuscript better. And now I know the finished product is as good as it can be."

Carole taught me the most valuable lesson I've ever learned in my writing career. She took it as a challenge to make it better. She didn't sit down and start rocking back and forth while wailing. She stepped up and faced the challenge directly. She may have inadvertently saved me from myself. Because not too long after that, I encountered a very bumpy publishing road.

Without her words echoing in my brain, I would have quit writing. I would have cast aside my pen and declared the venture not worth it. But by her calling it a challenge she had to meet, I recognized that bumpy road for what it was--a challenge. And who turns their back on the opportunity to make their manuscript better?

Certainly not me.

Today I am editing my own book so I can send it off to my agent. I've received edits back from editors I trust and decided to dive in. And already--the manuscript is better. Already the scenes are more clear, motivations are solidified, and characters are nailed firmly in place. It usually takes me a week after getting edits before I can be objective. My natural response is to want to defend my writing. But then I grumble, settle myself into my chair, and start fixing.

And it feels good to fix, to adjust, to clarify--to know that the things I am fixing now will not come back to haunt me in reviews on Goodreads later.

You are not obligated to do everything an editor tells you to do, suggestions remain merely suggestions, and sometimes editors are wrong (I know I am on occasion). There a million right ways to tell a story, and just because an editor gives you one path to follow doesn't mean it's the only path.

But you should take satisfaction in your opportunities to self edit down whichever path you choose, because each thing you fix makes the manuscript that much more worthy for publication. Then you can sit at your book signing, like Carole, and know the book in front of you is as shiny and polished as it can possibly be.

How not to use Adjectives

A popular post from March 2010. 

by Josi S. Kilpack

We all know that adjectives are words that modify a noun, right? Beyond that there don't seem to be too many rules about how to use them, or so we think. Imagine, however, reading a book with the following description:

The moon was so beautiful tonight, lighting up the fragrant, wet, green foliage so that it practically glowed, casting a bright, white, translucent shadow across all the crisp, straight lines surrounding me as I stood within the wonderful woods I have always loved.

Let's not get into how lame this sentence is overall, lets just focus on the adjectives--the modifiers used in this one horribly run on sentence. There are two basic types of adjectives, broad and specific--this sentance uses both.

Broad: beautiful, wonderful
Specific: wet, green, bright, white, translucent, crisp, straight

Broad means that the definition is, well, broad. Beautiful can relate to so many things and is very subjective; what I think is beautiful might not be beautiful to you. Same with wonderful, pleasant, dumb, awful and other modifiers that have such a large range of use, that it really doesn't define a noun all that well. Because of their ambiguous nature, they 'tell' rather than show. They work well in dialogue, but when broad adjectives are used too often in the actual narrative of the story, it comes across as poor writing, showing the author's lack of vocabulary. The reader easily disconnects with the story because broad adjectives tend to keep them at a distance, not allowing them to hone in on the details of the story.

Specific means that the definition is, well, specific (I know, I'm so helpful). When I say 'wet paint' you understand what I mean, there is nothing broad about that word and it 'shows' what I'm trying to say. Typically a specific adjective is better than a broad one because the reader can better determine exactly what you mean. However, too many of ANY kind of adjective comes across as clumsy and descriptive overkill. "...a bright, white, translucent shadow" is too much and makes it look as though I don't know the right word, so I'm using all of them. It's relatively rare to need more than one adjective when modifying anything.

Mark Twain had this to say:

When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.

Back to my lame sentence--do we need, bright, white, or translucent when we already said the moon glowed? Do we need crisp and straight to describe the lines? Do we need to be told the moon is beautiful when we're describing the glow? Can we get a sense of how wonderful the woods are without saying they're wonderful? Most of the time, we can. For instance:

The moon lit up the foliage so that it practically glowed, casting a translucent shadow across the lines surrounding me as I stood within the woods I have always loved.

Still a relatively lame sentence, but with only one of the adjectives used in the original. Whenever you go to modify a noun, make sure it needs to be modified. If it does, work hard to get the best word to do the work.

A few other tips:

• Get a Thesaurus and use it
• Beware of using words that are too obscure
• Pay attention to words already pre-modified, like Mountain (we know it's big, large, huge), ant (we know it's small, tiny), Tree (we know it's green), Flower (we know it's fragrant and beautiful)
• Whenever tempted to use more than one adjective, look harder to find one adjective that says both things

In the case of adjectives, less really is more, so choose wisely.

When Present Tense Works

A popular post from March 2010.

by Annette Lyon

Some time ago, I ranted about many aspiring writers I'd recently come across who insisted on using first person, present tense in their work. More specifically, I ranted about how it's not that great of an idea to do unless:

A) you know how to handle all the other aspects of writing a good story

AND

B) you know why you're using present tense instead of regular past. (Why and how will present tense make the story stronger?)

Since I recently came across a great book that uses first person present, I'm thinking it's time to revisit the topic and show why it worked in that book.

The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams is a young adult novel about thirteen-year-old Kyra, who lives in a polygamist compound and is promised to her 60-year-old uncle as his seventh wife. It's a complex, rich story, and it's told with Kyra's voice in present tense, as if it's happening right now.

One thing that present tense has going for in this book is that it provides a solid way to flash back to intense, important moments from the past.

When the rest of the story is happening NOW, we get a clear cue as to when we're in a flashback by the simple use of past tense. One moment Kyra IS DOING THIS, and the next, we're remembers that SUCH AND SUCH HAPPENED.

There's no need to transition with past perfect (I had gone, he had said) to alert the reader that we're going into or out of a flashback.

In many of the cases I ranted about, the beginning writers were relying on flashbacks in a bad way; it was often a clue that they were either starting in the wrong place or including information the reader didn't really need.

In the case of The Chosen One, we need all that information. And starting earlier and showing those scenes in real time would have weakened the impact of those scenes, because they're shown in an important sequence and as Kyra herself is reflecting on them and how they impact her next moves and decisions.

Big caveat here: Flashbacks are much like present tense: HANDLE WITH CARE.

Sloppy writers rely on lots of flashbacks to explain back story and provide exposition. If you're flashing back too often (or even in the first chapter), stand back to see if you're starting in the wrong place or whether that back story is really necessary to the whole. You might be able to cut it altogether.

As my previous rant (ahem . . post) warned, be careful about maintaining your tenses. Since we're all most familiar with regular past tense, it's all to easy to slide into past tense when you don't mean it to be a flashback. It's equally easy to revert to present tense in what should be a past-tense flashback. You'll need eagle eyes during revision to make sure you're consistent.

First-person present can be done well, and The Chosen One is a great example of that. (Another is Good Grief, by Lolli Winston.) But don't choose it willy-nilly.

Know why it will strengthen your story (or will it?) and how to do it well. If you're still trying to learn the basics of writing (dialogue, characterization, plotting, and so much more), stick with past tense for now.

It was plenty good for just about all the old greats in the literary cannon; it's good enough for you, too.

Tips From an Agent...With my two Cents

A popular post from March 2010.

By Josi S. Kilpack

I was not familiar with Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary until I followed a link to his blog this morning where he listed a "Laundry List" of 30 tips for writers. I found myself nodding and nodding over the points he made and since I couldn't come up with a blog topic of my own, I'm shamelessly borrowing a few of his points I'd like to expand on. Feel free to check out the whole list, however, at his blog at www.chipmacgregor.typepad.com

10. Understand what makes superb writing (great themes, the deep questions, wrestling with morality, decision making, choices that may not be correct)

 There are a lot of great books out there, and there are a lot of mediocre books and there is a great deal of poorly written fiction. As I read the elements Chip listed here I was impressed with how he honed in on those points that really do make a book 'impactful' to me. Now, not every book is written to change lives, but by having these types of elements in your story you can make even an 'entertaining' read an edifying one. Think about your favorite books; the ones you bought copies of even though you initially checked them out from the library. The ones you read ten years ago but still find yourself thinking about. What made them great? Can you break it down? Can you hone in on what it was that captured your attention? Take that piece, that little filigree of greatness and hold it up against your book. Can you do the same thing within the world you are creating on paper? 

28. Politeness counts (express appreciation to others -- success should be matched by grace)

When someone makes a difference, be sure they know that. Whether it's a blogger who reviewed your book or a friend who gave you feedback, or a newspaper editor that ran an announcement for your upcoming event. I love how he said "Success should be matched by grace" therefore as your career grows, you should be more and more gracious to those who played a part in that growth. I once set a goal for myself to write one thank you card a week--whether it was to the 14 year old who obviously worked hard on the two minute talk she gave at church, or the person who just spent 20 hours editing my manuscript. I kept it up for awhile but after reading this I think I need to move it higher up on my priority list. I love getting validation that the time I spent helping someone else was appreciated--and I notice when I have made a sacrifice that has gone unnoticed. Each time someone thanks me for something I've done, big or small, it encourages me to do it again, as opposed to thanklessness which makes me pull into myself, not wanting to take the time or risk the exposure of helping someone along. I was really glad he included this as it's one I definitely need to put some focus into. It reminded me of the parable of the ten lepers, only one came back--I want to be that one who goes back and expresses gratitude.

30. Keep perspective on your life and work (publishing doesn't make you smart or pretty or holy; getting your name in print doesn't validate your life)

I'm the last one to say that getting published isn't a BIG deal, it is. If it weren't, then it wouldn't be worth pursuing. But Chip is exactly right in that it doesn't make up for what you might be lacking in other ways. Publishing hasn't made me more spiritual--but it has helped me tap into the 'plan' I believe I was sent here to fulfill. It hasn't made me a better mother--in fact it has made me a worse one at times when I've let it overwhelm my family time. It hasn't made me a better friend or neighbor or wife either. The success I have in literature, does not fill up the voids I have in other areas of my life. While writing is definitely worthy of your time, never do it at the expense of the other people in your life, the other areas of development you need. There are, of course, times when other things needs to sacrifice for writing, but those should be infrequent and when they pass you should try to make up for the effect left on the other things you put aside. I have had many, many times when I have lost this perspective and the memory of those moments is painful for me to look at. As you move forward, do what you need to do to keep your perspective. Setting a regular time to evaluate how you are spending your time can be helpful--maybe once a month. Getting to know other writers and how they balance their lives can help you see how their tricks might apply to your life. Set realistic goals and make sure that YOU are the person making the biggest sacrifices to acheive them. Don't sacrifice everything that matters to you personally, but if it means giving up your Bunco night for writing time, or not getting your nails done so that you're not paying for postage on your 150 queries from the grocery money, do those things that in the long run preserve your family and keeps your priorities straight. Someone once told me that perception IS your reality. I might not think that my writing is more important than my children, but if they see me chatting on facebook more than chatting with them, what is their perception? What is their reality?

There were many more excellent points on Chip's blog and I encourage you to read through them and find one or two you can bless your writing, and your life, with.

Happy writing!

Managing Social Media

A popular post from April 2010

By Josi S. Kilpack

Some people love it, some people hate it, but everyone can agree that when it comes to marketing and connecting with people, Social Media is a powerful tool. But how do you keep it managable and not end up spending all your writing time trying to keep up? I have a few tricks that work for me, but would love your suggestions as well. This post is not a "How to" or a "Why you should" it's simply a "How to use your time wisely." I am also not technical by any stretch, each of these things I have learned from someone else and have eventually become comfortable with it.

1--Schedule blogs. I have found it very helpful to set up specific times to post my blog. I know many people blog daily or multiple times a week. I have been unable to keep up with this both due to time and to content--I'm just not that clever. But I like to put my thoughts down. Fridays are a good day for me, but I rarely write anything on Friday. Instead, I write sometime during the week and schedule the blog through the 'post options' link at the bottom of my blog post. I assume other blogging programs have the same option. If I for some reason have a lot of ideas, I write several posts but schedule them to post on Fridays so that if I end up brain dead three weeks from now, I'm covered. I can always go in and change the posting times if I want to but at least I know the content is there. I am working on setting aside a specific time to write blogs during the week but so far haven't found that extra hour so I just take the time when I can.

2--Management programs. The one I use is Tweetdeck, but there are several others. Since I'm only familiar with Tweetdeck, however, it's the only one I can relate experience for. What Tweetdeck does is combine social media like Twitter, My Space, Facebook, etc. You basically have Tweetdeck sign you in to all those programs and it keeps a column for each one. It opens a window that hangs out behind everything else I'm working on and I get alerts when people update their statuses, send me a message etc. I don't have to log into Twitter through a browser window or keep facebook up--they are always open unless I close Tweetdeck. When I first downloaded the program I was overwhelmed and felt sure I would hate it. I made myself use it through the weekend and fell in love. I'm often the first person who posts on someones update because I spend a lot of time on the computer and I get updated immediately. I can pop over, post a comment, and get back to work in mere seconds. You can get more info at TWEETDECK and if you want more information on some of the other programs as well as Twitter info check out Jaime Theler's blog, BOOKMOM'S MUSINGS she's a twitter pro, but uses small words.

3--Linking media. I have my twitter linked to facebook so if I post to twitter it automatically posts to facebook. I can text from my phone to twitter too, which, again, posts to facebook. I also linked my blog so that it automatically posts to my twitter... which posts to my facebook. I know it sounds all technical, but it really isn't. As to how to do these things, I went to google and typed in what I wanted to do and someone far smarter than myself told me how to do it. Saves me a lot of time. Additionally, in Tweetdeck I can choose if I want to just post to facebook. Twitter is limited to 140 spaces so if I want to say something longer, I can choose just facebook for that update and twitter isn't affected. I can also google how to undo this if I want to. In regard to blogging you can also set up your blog so that you can write it as an e-mail and send it to your 'blog' e-mail address and have it post automatically.

4--Google Reader. Google Reader is web based, so you have to have a browser window open, however what it allows you to do is 'follow' blogs without having to go to them individually. It keeps a 'roll' of all the blogs you follow and you can scroll through them at leisure. If there's one you want to comment on you click on it and it takes you right there. Very handy way to keep and eye on blogs. Granted I haven't logged in for about 3 months so I probably have 2,000 blog posts but you can click on 'mark all as read' and you get back to zero. I can't imagine following blogs any other way--it really brings it all to a 'glance'.

5--Delicious. Delicious is a kind of online bookmark. Similar to the 'bookmark' option on your toolbar it allows you to enter websites into 'folders'. Then you simply put it in your toolbar and it acts as a drop down menu, allowing you to quickly go to some of your favorite sites. I use it for banking, online shopping, and social media sites so that I can get to them fast. The other benefit is that it's online, so if your on a different computer, you can log in and have your favorite sites at your fingertips. You can find out more about it at their WEBSITE

6--E-mail folders. This is elementary for some people, but many people don't realize how to best utilize this feature of their e-mail program. I have about 40 files in my e-mail and recieve well over 200 e-mails a day. I set up 'rules' that sends e-mails to their folder. for instance I have a folder for "Blogger" anytime an e-mail comes through that says 'blogger' in the 'from' field, it goes to my blogger folder. I belong to about 18 yahoo groups, each of them have their own 'folder' and rule so that they also go directly to the right place. I might not have time to read all my e-mail, but I can check in on specific folders that might have more pressing information than others. Take a little time to poke around, consider making some of your folders into sub-folders of a larger one (such as I have GROUPS, which all my yahoo groups fall underneath) and really streamline your e-mail. Consider setting up an e-mail for "Facebook" and one for "Registration Information". You'll not only get things organized, but you'll save yourself a lot of time when you go looking for something specific.

So these are my tricks, what are yours?