Have you ever been on a date where you think you might have been better off going alone? Where sure, yeah, the other person existed, but there was no sense of immediacy about the date? And then horror of horrors, your date tries to kiss you goodnight and for all the zing that there *isn't* you yawn and shrug and head into the house.
I've read books that leave me feeling the same way. on the scale of one to five, they rate a "meh." Life is short. Kisses and writing should have passion.
If you want your writing to zing, make them immediate--make them right now.
One way to do that is to get rid of your telling voice.
- She felt the knife against her skin./The cold steel blade pressed against her skin.
- She saw the flag waving over the soldier's lifeless body./The flag waved over the soldier's lifeless body.
- They noticed the green ooze seeping from the chemical plant./The green ooze seeped from the chemical plant.
- He was looking./He looked.
- She started searching through her purse to find the mace spray./She searched through her purse to find the mace spray.
I don't know why we write in passive voice. I can't tell you why that feels more comfortable to authors or why we fall into the trap of passive, but we do--a lot.
A highly illuminating activity when you finish a manuscript is to go back and run a search for the word was.
Don't panic if you have a whole bunch . . . that's what rewrites and edits are for. The first draft is to get it down; the second draft is to get it right.
Write (and kiss) with passion.