Advice from the Experts

A popular post from March 2008

by Heather Moore

This past weekend I attended the LDStorymakers Writers Conference. The name may be deceiving because national publishing was discussed even more than LDS publishing. We had two special guests I'd like to highlight.

Jamie Weiss Chilton: Agent with Andrea Brown Literary. Since I was her "host" I had a lot of time to pick her brain. Probably one of the most significant things she told me was that she doesn't read queries/cover letters first. She doesn't think an author should spend hours and hours working on the perfect cover letter--because it will be your story that sells her. When she receives a submission she sets the cover/query aside and starts reading the first pages of the book. If she falls in love with the story and the writing, then she'll finally read the cover letter to find out more about the author.

Timothy Travaglini: Senior Editor at G.P. Putnam & Sons. He said that his publisher is one of the few big publishers that accept unagented submissions. He said that one of the most important things that we can do is read a lot and know our craft. Also, it's important to submit to the right editor or the right imprint. There are so many imprints under one publishing house that it saves you time and the editor time to research and know which one accepts your type of work. He also recommended approaching a junior editor over a senior editor--the junior editors are actively seeking new clients. He recommended (for childrens writers) to attend the one-on-one conference: Rutgers University Council on Children's Literature At this conference each attendee is assigned to a junior editor for mentoring purposes. Mr. Travaglini also said to spell his name right.

In the next weeks, I'll continue to blog about more tidbits learned from the great presenters at the conference.

Resolutions Writing Style

A popular post from January 2008

by Annette Lyon

As you begin a new year of writing, you might want to make making some writing-related resolutions.

First, take stock of what worked for you in 2007 and what didn't. Do daily word count goals fit your lifestyle? What about weekly ones? Do you work better by tracking chapters or pages rather than words? What system works best for you?

Second, set goals for yourself--goals that, while reachable do require you to stretch a little.

Last, decide on rewards for each goal you meet. It's amazing how a little incentive can help yourself plant your behind in the chair and your hands on the keyboard. Your inner writer is a child. Bribe it! (I find chocolate works well. And pedicures.)

Consider adding some of the following when making your list:

• Read. A lot. It helps me to keep a running log of all the books I've read in the year. I've done this every year for over a decade, and I try to at least match if not beat the number of titles from one year to the next. A good writer is a good reader. Be sure to include writing books in your list. And don't forget to read works in the genre you write in. Add one or two books that stretch you.
• Take regular outings to places that bring something new to your senses: try new foods, visit a museum, take long a walk through a strange neighborhood, go on vacation to a place you've never been before. Stimulation to the senses does marvels for creativity.
• Proof every query, cover letter, and manuscript you send out. Many times.
• To help you send out the cleanest material possible, learn your punctuation and grammar rules. (A funny and great place to start: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, by Lynne Truss.)
• Get up the guts to show your work to someone other than family and friends . . . someone who will give you the honest truth. Consider hiring a professional. It's worth the cost.
• Make at least one big goal for yourself: I'll finally finish this book/I'll query 20 agents/I'll attend 2 writing conferences. And attach deadlines to each goal.

The biggest resolution? Don't give up in 2008. This may be your year.

To begin is human . . .

A popular post from September 2009

By Heather Moore

I’ve been to many writers conference over the past eight years, and listened to maybe close to 100 presenters. I’m at the point where I’ve heard pretty much everything, so I rarely take notes anymore. Mostly I’m interested in publishing stories—as in how did this bestselling author get his/her start?

At the Book Academy conference held at Utah Valley University this past week, Brandon Sanderson was the keynote speaker. If you are a fantasy writer, for children, YA, or adult, his books are a must-read. He writes the Alcatraz series for middle-grade readers (they are hilarious for adults as well. Also, for you omniscient pov writers, this series is a classic example). He also writes epic fantasy. Elantris is his first published, and the Mistborn trilogy has propelled him to pretty much stardom. I'm dying to read Warbreaker, his newest release, but I'm trying to get my WIP progress drafted first.

Brandon talked about how he wrote novel after novel (I think it was 12-13) before he finally got his #6 book a publishing contract. When he heard from the editor who wanted to buy his book, he contacted an agent who he’d gotten to know over the years through various writers conferences. The agent signed him.

Brandon gave some advice on things he wished he would have known before he tried to follow market trends (which wasn’t successful for him). I won’t reiterate it here since I don’t want to plagiarize, although I did ask him if it was okay to blog about it. And I think he said yes. Or maybe I just told him I was going to, and he looked at me funny. I’m not sure (since when I'm around famous people I'm lucky to remember my name), so to be on the safe side, I’ll just tell you about one of the things he emphasized.

“Write what you like to READ.”

This sounds so simple, but when you really think about it, it makes a whole lot of sense. This can solve some of our writer’s angst when we are trying to think of a new genre to break into. Say you are published in historical fiction (like me!) and you see all of your friends getting huge advances in children’s lit. Hmmm. Should I switch genres? Catch the tide? Do I love children’s lit or am I just trying to copycat?

So I pause and ask myself: “What do I READ?” That’s the answer. If I don’t like to read what I’m writing, then guess what? The passion will fizzle out all too soon.

So, like Brandon, who decided to not follow the tide and write what he was passionate about (Epic Fantasy), I think I’ll do the same—not the same genre, but you know what I mean.

One last quote from Mr. Sanderson, which I thought about putting on my whiteboard in my office, but then didn’t want to be reminded of a big revision in my near future:

“To begin is human.
To finish is divine.
To revise is hell.”

Do your Research

A popular post from August 2009

by Heather Moore

No, I'm not talking about historicals. In a few weeks, I'll be teaching a couple of workshops at the League Of Utah Writers Conference.

My two topics will be:
1. The Science of Writing Your First Novel . . . and you thought it was a Creative Art
2. Your Rock-Solid Submission Package: Making it Fluid

As a presenter, I had to turn in my outlines in advance, which started me thinking. I'd like to compile a comprehensive list of websites/blogs for writing, editing, finding agents and publishers that will be something useful for our sidebar.

So let me know the sites you frequent and I can add them on.

Here is my list so far.

Non-Fiction Proposal Package: www.manuslit.com
Agent Research: www.agentquery.com (free)
Agent Bloggers:
Nathan Bransford
Kristin Nelson
Janet Reid
Rachelle Gardner
Agents/Publishers List: www.writersmarket.com (paid subscription)
Writing & Editing Blog: http://writingonthewallblog.blogspot.com
Writer’s Digest: on-line newsletter, or magazine subscription
Preditors & Editors: www.anotherealm.com/prededitors
Writer Beware: www.sfwa.org/Beware

Who Am I Writing To?

A popular post from August 2009

by Annette Lyon

At a writing conference probably ten or more years ago, I heard Orson Scott Card say that if you write a love letter and it's received the way you intended it to be, then you have written well for your audience.

He was right. I'd never write a romantic letter to my husband the same way I'd write a letter to one of my children, and writing a letter to my parents would be different still. Even if I'm expressing love in every case, the tone and word choice would be different. The desired effect would be different.

You have the same job in your fiction. Who is your audience? Do you know? If you don't, then you're going to run into two big problems.

1) You won't create the best effect possible.

Knowing the age group and genre are both critical.

For the age group alone, the vocabulary, sentence structure, tone, voice, and complexity of storyline and even topics and the way you'll approach them will be largely determined by the age of your audience.

A story told one way will touch a thirty-year-old man differently than the same one told to a thirteen-year-old. Which one is better? Neither. But one will react in a stronger way--and that's the one that's geared toward the right audience.

If you're looking to write for a young audience, for example, read book geared toward young people. LOTS of them. Learn the difference between early chapter books, middle grade, and young adult. Learn how long those types of books are. Know where your book would be shelved in the book store AND why.

On the opposite end, if your book is clearly for adults, read a lot from the proper section of the bookstore where your book would fit. You'll learn the tones, voices, themes, and so on. Reading your own genre is some of the best education you can do to learn how to write in your own genre.

2) You can't sell it if you don't know what it is.

The hardest part about publishing isn't writing the book, although that can be brutal all by itself. The hardest part can be actually selling it.

First you have to get an agent to fall in love with you and your work and be convinced they can sell it. That means they know exactly how they'll pitch it to editors and publishers.

And that means they need to know from the very first time you contact them in a query where your book belongs in a bookstore. Is it in the middle grade section? In the adult horror section? Is it a women's literary piece? A young adult fantasy? A paranormal romance? They need to know right off the bat.

If they don't know, they can't take you on as a client, and then they can't sell it to an editor. And then the editor can't sell it to the committee.

Let's pretend for a moment that somehow you managed to write a book without knowing who your audience was and that you managed to get an agent and then a contract.

Guess what? The marketing department will have NO IDEA what to do with your book. How can they advertise it? To whom? How can they put out their salesmen to bookstores or make ads in catalogs and write copy to sell it? They don't know who to target their sales copy for.

For that matter, how will the graphic design department know how to design a cover to attract . . . what kind of reader? A twelve-year-old girl will be attracted to a very different cover than a forty-year-old woman.

Bottom line: Figure out who you're writing for. If you don't know the answer right this very second, that's okay. You might figure it out as you write, as the plot solidifies and your get your writing feet under yourself and the picture becomes clearer.

When things have come into focus, go back and do revisions, with a better view of what the real story is and who you're telling your story to.

Because in the end, if you just want your family to read it, that's great. They can be your sole audience.

But if you want to sell it and have a bigger audience, you'll need to know who they are before you ever submit.

My Book's Kinda Like...but not Really

A popular post from February 2010. 

By Josi S. Kilpack

Do you write JUST like Dan Brown? Is your next book the NEXT Harry Potter? If so, my condolences. We already have Dan Brown and Harry Potter, and no one needs a replacement. However, when you get the phase of querying agents/editors you need to help them identify who you are and what you write, which is where comparisons come in. But there is a right way and a wrong way to make those comparisons.

Wrong:

• I write exactly like Shannon Hale.
• My book is better than Lovely Bones.
• My book will outsell Twilight.
• Have you ever wished you'd published John Grisham's first novel? Well here's your chance to do even better!

Saying things like that sounds a little like Vincini in Princess Bride, and we all know how that ended:

"Have You Ever Heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!"

But agents/editors DO want comparisons, they need to know how you measure yourself against other books, and the books you choose says a lot about what you write, who your target audience is, and whether or not you are paying attention to your competition. Which brings us to the other Wrong way of facilitating comparisons:

• My book is like nothing you've ever read before.
• My book is a fresh new genre.
• There's nothing like this on the market

Now, there are some books that really are unlike anything else out there, now and then someone does make up a new genre--but even THEY have something to compare to. Twilight was new to many of us, but vampire books have been around for a long time. The Firm was also unique, but there had been other books that used law as the backdrop to the story. Shannon Hale's adapted fairy tales were new and different, but they are based on fairy tales which have been around for a very long time.

Never mind that when you say you're "As good as...", or "The next..." you come across as arrogant and, probably, deluded. You are NOT Stephenie Meyer. You might write as well she does, and you might tell a similar story, but you are NOT her because you haven't sold 18 million books.

Is that horse dead, yet? Good, then we can continue.

In Real Estate, appraisers use other homes around you to estimate the value of your home when they work up an appraisal. Your home might be worth two million dollars...in Beverly Hills, but it's not in Beverly Hills. If homes similar to yours are selling for $300K, asking for 2 million will not get you the result you're looking for. Book comparisons are similar; you are pointing out the 'value' and 'market' and 'genre' of your book by comparing it to other books in the neighborhood.

The other benefit of comparisons is that it reflects your market saavy. You need to know the market you want to publish in, which is why when writers say "There's nothing like this in the market" industry people roll their eyes. There probably is something out there, similar in some way, you just haven't done your research. Agents/editors want to know that YOU know your market and your potential competition--comparisons show them that you understand this.

So, how do you compare the right way. Understanding why comparisons are important is the first step. Knowing your overall market is the next. The third step is finding the right comparisons. People (including me in this post) tend to go with very popular books most people are familiar with. This isn't bad thing, but keep in mind the people you are querying know that John Grisham isn't the only legal thriller writer out there, and Harry isn't the only kid with a wand. As you learn your market, look for books that might not be on the NY Times Bestseller list but have really good reviews. Look for books that might not have caught the spotlight in America, but sold well in foreign markets. Not only does this set you apart in that you're not the 39th writer that week comparing yourself to Angels and Demons, but it shows that you have really learned your market and that selling 400 million copies isn't your only goal; you also appreciate the power of good writing, and good reviews. Agents/editors know about the mid-list books out there, so you'll impress them in that fact that you're paying attention on a deeper level than most. And it's often in these mid-list layers where you'll find the best comparisons to your book anyway, better helping the agent/editor get a feel for what your book is about. NEVER say your book is "Just like" any other book, because if it's "Just like" another book, then why would they want to publish another one?

To find comparisons go to Amazon.com or your local library and peruse books by genre, ask a librarian, check out reader lists, or even google "Middle grade apocalyptic fantasy novel" and see what comes up. Be sure to read the books you choose to compare yours to. It would not do well for you to say your book was similar to a book is had nothing in common with. But don't overwhelm yourself. You should be able to find a couple books or writers that will work well for you--you don't want more than a few comparisons anyway because YOUR book is the focus.

In summary, the key to comparisons are:

• "My book is similar to...
• "but different in that...
• Read the books you are comparing yourself to.
• Be professional.
• Be humble yet confident.

Happy writing!

Pitching a Winner!

A popular post from February 2010.

By Josi S. Kilpack

You've written your book, you've revised it, and you've let your friends read it while chewing your fingernails to the quick. You then took their suggestions and made your book even better and realized it was time to face the facts--you are running out of excuses not to seek publication. You thought writing the book was intimidating--now it's time to send it out to the world and hope it finds a home with a publisher who will love it as much as you do. It's time to learn your market, it's time to query, and for many writers it's time to meet an agent face to face and pitch your book.  **FYI, if what you sign up for is a "Review," meaning you submitted your actual writing prior to the meeting,  all of the following information still applies.


So, what is a pitch exactly? And how can you use the time as efficiently as possible?

First, A pitch is basically a face to face meeting with an agent/editor who MIGHT want to read more. It's a powerful opportunity, but in order for it to be of greatest benefit to you, you need to look at it from all perspectives:

1--Author Development: We are writers, that means we love words, but we usually prefer them on a page. I'm convinced that one of the reasons I started to write was because I couldn't revise things I said out loud. In a book, I can sound like a genius and always say the right thing...not so much in real life. Still, if you want to become a published author you need to be able to talk about yourself and your book. Sitting across from a real live agent/editor forces you to do this. Practicing what you'll say before you sit across from said agent/editor (hereafter referred to as "agent' because I'm getting annoyed with agent/editor)  will help you do this well. If you're intimidated, remember that when you do get published, you're going to be put on the spot all the time to talk about your book--the days of the eccentric author hiding in the woods ended the day the Unibomber was arrested.

2--Name recognition: Getting a face to face with an agent/editor is your chance to rise out of the slush pile. IF they request your book, you can remind them that you met them at such-and-such conference. Agents receive thousands and thousands of queries, and request hundreds of partials, but you met them, they then have a connection and that sets you apart.

3--Knowing the agent: When an writer sits down to start researching agents it's an overwhelming prospect trying to find an agent that might be a good fit for your book. At any given time there are likely dozens of agents who could be the one--but a pitch gives you the excuse to study up on a particular agent. Learn about their clients, their history, the company they work for. Learn their submission guidelines, find out which publishing houses they seem to have a good relationship with, and learn about the books they've placed. You likely don't have the time to do this type of research for every agent you'll query, but it's worth your time to really dig into this one. The process will also benefit you if you need to research agents in the future because you'll know best how to go about it.

4--Insider info: Agents eat, breathe, and sleep books. They know what sells and what doesn't sell. They know what imprints are the best fit for certain genres. They know what's hot, they know what was hot 6 months ago, and even if they aren't interested in your book, they will know who might be. Sitting across from them is like having the chance to discuss reduction sauces with Julie Child or Chimpanzees with Jane Goodall--they are experts and their industry knowledge is priceless. I think this is the area of a pitch most writers don't take advantage of the way they should. They are so eager to convince the agent their book is great (not that it isn't) they forget to listen to what the agent has to say. Not every author who meets with an agent is going to get their book requested, but every single one of them has the chance to learn details of their market they might never learn otherwise. Because of this, having questions you want to ask will ensure you will leave the pitch smarter than you went in.

A couple other tips:

1-Be respectful to their time and their status. These are industry professionals. Even if they say something you don't necessarily agree with, arguing is not going to reflect well on you.
2-Be Prepared. Know how to verbalize your book and your long term writing goals, come with questions you want answers to, and know the agent your meeting with.
3-Play nice. Don't defame other authors, books, or agents. Writers quick to put down someone else are often attempting to make themselves look better in the process, and that's rarely the result. You don't need to make someone else look small in order to make yourself look good.
4-Have realistic expectations. Every writer wants to submit to the agent they pitch to, but the fact is agents request less than 10%. Usually it's because the book isn't ready or they know they're not the best fit. Because of those two things, you shouldn't feel offended or hurt if they don't want to read more. Please, please, please view your pitch as an opportunity, not a guarantee.
5-Evaluate. After the pitch is over, evaluate how it went. Did you say what you wanted to say the way you wanted to say it? Could you have done better? Did you learn any tidbits of information that could improve your book or your agent focus or your next pitch?
6-Deliver. If you were lucky enough to have your book requested, be sure to submit it quickly, when the memory of your meeting is fresh in the agent's mind. Most agents will not take submissions at the conference--they don't want to haul manuscripts back home with them, so find out how best to send it to them and then follow their instructions to the letter.

It's an exciting opportunity to meet with people who have made bestsellers out of a writer who was once just like you--use your time wisely and take full advantage of the information available.

Here are some additional links for information on how to pitch:

Julie Wright's blog Post The Perfect Pitch
Nathan Bransford's Post How to Maximize Pitch Sessions
LDStorymakers 2010 Agent/Editor Information

Tips From an Agent...With my two Cents

A popular post from March 2010.

By Josi S. Kilpack

I was not familiar with Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary until I followed a link to his blog this morning where he listed a "Laundry List" of 30 tips for writers. I found myself nodding and nodding over the points he made and since I couldn't come up with a blog topic of my own, I'm shamelessly borrowing a few of his points I'd like to expand on. Feel free to check out the whole list, however, at his blog at www.chipmacgregor.typepad.com

10. Understand what makes superb writing (great themes, the deep questions, wrestling with morality, decision making, choices that may not be correct)

 There are a lot of great books out there, and there are a lot of mediocre books and there is a great deal of poorly written fiction. As I read the elements Chip listed here I was impressed with how he honed in on those points that really do make a book 'impactful' to me. Now, not every book is written to change lives, but by having these types of elements in your story you can make even an 'entertaining' read an edifying one. Think about your favorite books; the ones you bought copies of even though you initially checked them out from the library. The ones you read ten years ago but still find yourself thinking about. What made them great? Can you break it down? Can you hone in on what it was that captured your attention? Take that piece, that little filigree of greatness and hold it up against your book. Can you do the same thing within the world you are creating on paper? 

28. Politeness counts (express appreciation to others -- success should be matched by grace)

When someone makes a difference, be sure they know that. Whether it's a blogger who reviewed your book or a friend who gave you feedback, or a newspaper editor that ran an announcement for your upcoming event. I love how he said "Success should be matched by grace" therefore as your career grows, you should be more and more gracious to those who played a part in that growth. I once set a goal for myself to write one thank you card a week--whether it was to the 14 year old who obviously worked hard on the two minute talk she gave at church, or the person who just spent 20 hours editing my manuscript. I kept it up for awhile but after reading this I think I need to move it higher up on my priority list. I love getting validation that the time I spent helping someone else was appreciated--and I notice when I have made a sacrifice that has gone unnoticed. Each time someone thanks me for something I've done, big or small, it encourages me to do it again, as opposed to thanklessness which makes me pull into myself, not wanting to take the time or risk the exposure of helping someone along. I was really glad he included this as it's one I definitely need to put some focus into. It reminded me of the parable of the ten lepers, only one came back--I want to be that one who goes back and expresses gratitude.

30. Keep perspective on your life and work (publishing doesn't make you smart or pretty or holy; getting your name in print doesn't validate your life)

I'm the last one to say that getting published isn't a BIG deal, it is. If it weren't, then it wouldn't be worth pursuing. But Chip is exactly right in that it doesn't make up for what you might be lacking in other ways. Publishing hasn't made me more spiritual--but it has helped me tap into the 'plan' I believe I was sent here to fulfill. It hasn't made me a better mother--in fact it has made me a worse one at times when I've let it overwhelm my family time. It hasn't made me a better friend or neighbor or wife either. The success I have in literature, does not fill up the voids I have in other areas of my life. While writing is definitely worthy of your time, never do it at the expense of the other people in your life, the other areas of development you need. There are, of course, times when other things needs to sacrifice for writing, but those should be infrequent and when they pass you should try to make up for the effect left on the other things you put aside. I have had many, many times when I have lost this perspective and the memory of those moments is painful for me to look at. As you move forward, do what you need to do to keep your perspective. Setting a regular time to evaluate how you are spending your time can be helpful--maybe once a month. Getting to know other writers and how they balance their lives can help you see how their tricks might apply to your life. Set realistic goals and make sure that YOU are the person making the biggest sacrifices to acheive them. Don't sacrifice everything that matters to you personally, but if it means giving up your Bunco night for writing time, or not getting your nails done so that you're not paying for postage on your 150 queries from the grocery money, do those things that in the long run preserve your family and keeps your priorities straight. Someone once told me that perception IS your reality. I might not think that my writing is more important than my children, but if they see me chatting on facebook more than chatting with them, what is their perception? What is their reality?

There were many more excellent points on Chip's blog and I encourage you to read through them and find one or two you can bless your writing, and your life, with.

Happy writing!

Guest Interview: Chuck Sambuchino

by Annette Lyon

I was thrilled to snag an interview with Chuck Sambuchino, part of the Writer's Digest family (a magazine I've been reading for over sixteen years).

Chuck is behind the Guide to Literary Agents blog and the editor of WD's annual directory of the same name.

He's also now the author of something new. In September, his new book hit shelves: How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Attack (And They Will).

As someone with an insider's view to the agent world and as an author himself, Chuck is in an unusual position, and today, Writing on the Wall readers are lucky enough today to get a peek into his know-how. Below is our interview.

WOTW: In your experience with Guide to Literary Agents, what have you found to be some of the most common misconceptions about how to get an agent and/or what an agent does?

Chuck: One of the more common misconceptions is that you have to know somebody in the industry to get published. The truth is anyone anywhere can get published. All it takes is hard work, education and patience. As one agent once put it: “I will sign a guy living in a cave in the Ozarks if he can write.”

WOTW: What are some common missteps writers often make that turn off agents or sour a writer/agent relationship?

Chuck: I’m not sure if you’re talking about before they sign with an agent (the submission phase and first contact) or after, when they’re already together. I think you mean the latter. Problems in an agent-author relationship usually have to do with a lack of communication or one side not delivering on what they promised. If a writer agrees to do some major overhauls on the work prior to submission but then reneges, you’ve got a problem. If the agent is overloaded with other projects and has no time to dedicate to submitting your work to editors, there’s another problem. In other words, problems take all shapes and sizes—it’s a tough question.

WOTW: Many people describe the writer/agent relationship as courting and marriage, yet many writers are thrilled to get any agent. Why is the right agent for you more important than having any agent?

Chuck: Because if you have a bad relationship, then nothing gets done and you have to break up. And breaking up with an agent is much like a divorce would be, I imagine—horrible. You have to tell them they’re fired, and that is going to be one heck of an awkward conversation. And then you have to find another agent, who themselves are wondering why you broke up with the first agent. After all, it may be a sign you are a tough writer to work with. Whether that’s true or not, it may cross the second agent’s mind.

WOTW: You often remind readers that new agents are great opportunities. Elaborate on that: What benefits might a new agent have over an established one? What could be the downsides of having a new agent?

Chuck: Good question. New literary agents are usually in the course of actively building their client list. They are eager to sign writers and get submissions out there to editors and get those first sales on Publishers Marketplace. They still want excellent submissions and writers, but they are usually willing to give your work a longer look and consideration. (Keep in mind what I just said is usually true, but not always—once again showing that writing is full of principles, but has no hard-and-fast, 100-percent rules.)

The downside of having a newer agent (again, this is common so but not guaranteed) is that they have less experience and connections than an experienced agent.

WOTW: What lessons from your blog did you use in seeking an agent and going through the publishing process?

Chuck: I got an agent around the same time I started the blog, but I have followed my own advice through the process thereafter. I made writer friends because they are the ones to trumpet your book through social media. I sat down and wrote a lot. The publishing process is slow and real hit-and-miss. You need to write a lot to 1) succeed, and 2) keep your sanity. Lastly, I tried to have a good time doing it. Somebody in Hollywood once said, “If you’re writing a spec script and you’re not having fun, something’s wrong.” What they meant was: If you’re writing a project for you (rather than working on an assigned project for money), you better be having fun doing it. Otherwise, what’s the point?

WOTW: Describe your book and where the idea came from.

Chuck: How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the first and only survival guide against these little malicious garden dwellers. While gnomes pose as merry creatures of the earth, I believe they are actually little murderers that kill for sport. (I had many FBI files to prove this but they have all disappeared. Methinks the gnomes took them.) The book is a quick read and includes lots of color photographs of garden gnome shenanigans in action. It’s a good gift for that relative who loves to garden.

The idea for the book first came when thinking about The Full Monty (the 1997 movie). There is a scene with a garden gnome in there, and I started getting the heebie-jeebies during that scene because gnomes creep me out. Then it hit me that if garden gnomes creeped me out, certainly they creep other people, as well. I started writing some jokes and knew within an hour that there was a book there.

WOTW: How did you develop your pitch for Garden Gnomes?

Chuck: I took a ridiculous subject (safety prevention against garden gnomes) and then treated it with absolute seriousness and a dash of college professor vernacular. Luckily for me, I was able to easily show my agent/editor that readers enjoyed survival parody books (zombies, vampires, robots, etc.) and they also enjoyed garden gnome books—so putting them together would be an explosion of awesomeness.

WOTW: A regular feature on your blog has published authors listing seven things they've learned so far. As a writer yourself, name a couple of items that would make your list of things you've learned so far.

Chuck: I’ve already mentioned some in this speech—including the fact that we have to keep writing and not put all our eggs in one basket. Another one is to seek out new markets, including new agents. That’s about all I can say because I actually talk about my “7 Things” when speaking to writers conference audiences live. It’s a big speech I save for live audiences only as something special to give to them at events. I can’t put everything on the blog or else no one would come out to events! (If you want to see where I will be in 2010-2011 see HERE.)

WOTW: What's next for you?

Chuck: 1) Brainstorming more humor book ideas. 2) Deciding whether to rewrite kids novel #1 or move on to brand-new numero dos. 3) I’m writing two screenplays with a buddy and we’re excited about those projects, though we have no idea if they are going somewhere or not. 4) And of course, begin the next cycle of Guide to Literary Agents as well as Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market (the 2012 edition's due out next summer).

PEG: Many writers have quirks—rituals to find their zone, places to write, and so on. What's a writer quirk most people probably don't know about you?

Chuck: I typically listen to one song over and over again when writing a project. If I can find one song that gets the brain synapses firing, I have no problem listening to it over and over—even for weeks at a time if that’s what it takes. I will tell you that, for the last two large projects I wrote, the two songs that I listened to were “Heroes of Our Time” by Dragonforce, and “Walking in Memphis” by Marc Cohn. Don’t try to make sense of it all—you can’t. It’s just a quirk. Besides that, I am most creative very late at night.

Thanks, Chuck! Best of luck with your book!

Spot Check

by Heather Moore


So, how is everyone's summer going? What are you working on?

I'm writing a new book this summer (well, I started in March), so it's been very interesting. In the past I haven't committed to a serious writing project in the summer.

My goal is 2,000 words a day, and for the most part it's been doable. If the day is more busy than usual, then I get up early, if not, then I can usually get in a couple of hours in the afternoons. I've found that I have to seriously limit blog-surfing in order to make true progress :-) Although, I can't really resist all of the time, especially when posts like this pop up from Janet Reid, Literary Agent.

What are your tricks for finding time for summer writing?

Agent Tips from Storymakers 2010

by Heather Moore

Laura Rennert & Heather Moore

Over the weekend, I attended the Storymakers Conference in Provo, Utah, with my fellow editors and 450 other writers.

I was lucky to host Laura Rennert, a talented agent with Andrea Brown Literary Agency. She had great advice, along with agent, Nephele Tempest, of The Knight Agency (it was fun learning to pronounce Nephele's name and we all agreed she should be an actress with such a fine stage name--Neh feh lee). Both agents were friendly and outgoing women who were simply a delight to hang around with.

I think the most interesting thing about listening to an agent speak is learning what their preferences are. Most of their advice is the same across the board. Bottom line, they are looking for good writers with compelling stories.

Nephele Tempest told us to not be afraid when pitching to agents--they are just people who love books and are fortunate to work in an industry they love.

I liked that. I love books and therefore, it already gives us writers a lot in common with agents.

Laura Rennert made a point of saying that publishing contracts vary by quite a large degree. But she told us not to get caught up in the number or the size of the publishing house. She said that the books she represents will find the right home for that particular book. She also talked about fine-tuning your craft in her workshop. Out of the criteria that she considers when reading a submission, she said that voice is the hardest thing to edit. And her advice on finding the right voice for your work? Write. A Lot.

Conference Tips

by Annette Lyon

The entire Precision Editor Group staff will be at a writers conference this weekend as presenters. We love participating, both as speakers as well as attendees.

Conferences are a great place to do lots of things:

Learn the craft.

The first conference I attended was nearly 14 years ago. In that time, I've had the chance to listen to some amazing (and, okay, some less-than-stellar) speakers. I know a lot about writing, but I can always learn more. I attended a friend's class a few years ago simply to support her. While most of the workshop was a review for me, I still learned . . . and came away with some fantastic ideas for developing my characters further. There's always a nugget to be learned, regardless of how "good" you are.

Learn the industry.

I recall attending a conference where the visiting agent was getting questions that I thought were elementary. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that six years prior, I hadn't known the answers to those very questions. I'd come a long way!

Meet other Writers.

Some of the people who are now my best friends are those I met through conferences and other writing networks. Writing is a rather solitary profession; it's just you and your keyboard. I'm still amazed at the positive impact that a strong support network of friends who GET what being a writer means (and have been there, done that) can be.

Meet Industry Insiders.

As unfair as it sounds, the reality is that very often it's not necessarily the best manuscript that gets published. Often it's who knows who and what manuscript lands on the right person's desk on the right day. The more writers, editors, agents, and other professionals you know, the greater the chance of reaching the right person when your time comes.

As we've mentioned before, these kinds of meetings can sometimes happen in pitch sessions and manuscript review appointments. Prepare for them, but be professional. Don't stalk the agent and start with your elevator pitch WHILE IN THE ELEVATOR.

Recharge Your Batteries

Even if you think that you won't learn much from a particular conference, chances are that if you go, you'll leave pumped to write and improve. I know that every spring after this conference, I come home jazzed to get back to the keyboard and do what I love most: WRITE.

I can hardly wait for this weekend to arrive, when I get to see the friends who understand me best, be immersed in the writing world, and come home totally on fire.

Kelli Stanley: From Small Press to Big Success

Interview by Heather Moore

Welcome, Kelli, to our writing blog. We’re excited to hear about your writing journey and how you went from getting your first mystery novel, Nox Dormienda: A Long Night for Sleeping, published with a smaller press to landing a contract with a major publisher for City of Dragons.

Heather: First of all, congratulations on your starred reviews from Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, and Booklist for City of Dragons! Pretty amazing to say the least. But first things first . . . I recently read your award-winning mystery novel, Nox Dormienda (an Arcturus mystery) and really enjoyed the classic Roman noir setting. Tell us about the beginnings of your publishing career with this first book.

Kelli: Heather, thank you so much for having me over! It’s an honor to be here at Writing on the Wall. And thank you very much for the kind words! I wrote NOX DORMIENDA just a few years ago when I was in graduate school, earning a Master’s degree in Classics. It was the first novel I ever tried to write, but I’d written “stuff” my whole life, from poetry to screenplays. I wanted to do something creative with my degree—and my life. My choices were really to either go forward in academia, pursuing a Ph.D., or try something new. So inspired by the success of writers like Stephen Saylor and Lindsay Davis, I took the plunge and wrote NOX, which combines my love of noir and hardboiled fiction and film with the history and culture I’d spent so much time studying.

Contrary to expectations, I found an agent immediately—the first agent I queried, in fact. However, she moved out of the country and I was left—in my graduating semester—with very few prospects. That was a scary time, let me tell you. And to compound the stress, I was operating in a vacuum of ignorance. I knew no one in the community, I wasn’t a member of any organization—no Sisters in Crime, no Mystery Writers of America. I’m kind of mule-headed (some in my family might say VERY mule-headed, lol!), and I just didn’t feel comfortable investing any money in myself if all this publishing stuff was a pipe dream. So I wasn’t sure what to do. My former agent suggested I submit the manuscript to Five Star, a small, library press—they get their books reviews and it seemed like a good place to start. I thought to myself, “Just get a toe in the doorway.”

So I sent the book to Five Star and I was accepted. And it was at that point that I started to actually believe in myself, and promptly tried to make up for all the lost time and join organizations and learn as much about the industry as possible. After this start, you can imagine my surprise and gratitude at NOX winning the Bruce Alexander and becoming a Macavity finalist last year.
Heather: That must have been a thrill to have NOX in such a prestigious way. You have written a sequel for Nox Dormienda, but that’s not the next book coming out. City of Dragons was picked up by Thomas Dunne/Minotaur and will be out February 2, 2010. How did you find your agent for this book and how long did it take to secure a publishing contract?

Kelli: There are a lot of characters and plots roaming around in my head, and I never planned to just focus on Rome—too limiting. My true love is mid-century America, particularly the 30s through the end of World War II. So I planned to write a novel with a female private detective, and I was going to set it in 1939, at the San Francisco World’s Fair—the Golden Gate International Exposition.

Now, once I realized that it would be very, very difficult—almost impossible—to get my first series picked up by a major publisher, I knew that writing another series would provide me a fresh chance. Fortunately, I’d written CURSED, the sequel to NOX, in just a few months—before I submitted NOX and while I was waiting to figure out what to do with my life.

So I wrote CITY OF DRAGONS. The book became darker, set in 1940, and while the Fair plays a role—and is actually the setting for a Miranda Corbie short story that’s coming in the FIRST THRILLS anthology in June—Chinatown is the backdrop.

In the meantime, I was without an agent, and knew I’d have to go through the tortuous process of finding one. A friend recommended her agency, I sent them my work, and found the absolutely best agent in the world—Kimberley Cameron, of Kimberley Cameron and Associates. I finished CITY OF DRAGONS a few months after NOX was published, and Kimberley put it on the market in the second week of January, 2009. The market fell out and I was petrified it wouldn’t sell. But three weeks later we had a deal with Thomas Dunne/Minotaur, and believe me—I couldn’t be happier. I adore my editor and my publishing team!
Heather: I’ve heard Kimberly Cameron is an excellent agent. Congratulations. I think every writer was holding her breath when the market went south. But you are one of the survivors. The cover for CITY OF DRAGONS is stunning, so kudos to your publisher's design department. What are some of the key things or mottos that you believe have attributed to your success as an author?

Kelli: My family, number one. They’ve believed in me from the beginning, and help prop me up through all the self doubt. And the generosity of this community—the crime fiction community—is unbelievable. I have been helped and supported by so many people … and one of my goals is to be able to give back in any way I can.

I also think it helps that my expectations are fairly realistic—I want to write full-time. That’s it! And I recognize that publishing is a business—that writing is a business, and that authors really need to look at themselves that way.

And, of course, perseverance counts the most. You just can’t give up, though there have been times that I’ve thought I should.

Heather: Perseverance is even more important than ever. The typical writing process can take years from writing, to submitting, to a book release. I think it’s important for novice writers to understand that the success we see splashed in the newspapers and magazines has been a long time in building up. What are your writing habits—and how long does it take you from idea to completion of a novel?

Kelli: I hold a day job, so writing has to be worked in around everything else. And though I use a loose outline, the plot also develops as I write—characters come in I don’t expect, etc. I prepare a certain amount of research ahead of time, too, but also research specifics as they come up. So all in all, I’m usually a fairly fast writer, but how long it takes to get to the finished product depends, like everything else, on other demands: day job, personal and family life … and certainly, all the editing, marketing, etc. that goes into launching a new book.

Heather: Like the rest of us, you are juggling many things. Gratefully, the internet has given authors instant access to self-promotion. How important is internet presence (websites, blogging, social sites) to your marketing?

Kelli: Enormously important. The internet is where most people receive their news, their impressions of what might interest them. The trick is to figure out what—of the million on-line opportunities out there—might work. I wish I had the answer! Social networking is fun—and when you spend a lot of time staring at a page, it’s great to take a break and connect with friends and readers. But—the downside—it can be an enormous time drain. So you have to constantly remind yourself, again, that you’re a business, and you don’t have time to harvest your crops in Farmville.

Heather: LOL. The other day I deleted about 30 requests for Farmville and finally blocked it. Based on your experience, would you advise an unpublished writer to submit first to small publishers or to find an agent?

Kelli: Unpublished writers, in my opinion, should ALWAYS seek an agent first. Even with a small press, agents will recognize a one-sided contract when they see it. If I’d had an agent when I signed my contract for NOX, we could have bargained for a much better deal in terms of length of ownership of rights, etc. All kinds of things you don’t think about—or at least I didn’t, because I didn’t know any better. An agent will protect you from getting taken advantage of because you want something—to be published—very, very badly. That’s their job, and they can and should be a writer’s best friend.

That said, it takes time and perseverance to find the right agent for you. Think of it like a marriage—you wouldn’t fly to Las Vegas together on the first query letter, so take the time to research the agents you submit your work to, take time to ask them questions. Research their reputations, email their clients. It’s a personal relationship as well as a business one, and it needs to click.

Heather: Research is so important. I had an agent once send me a contract and only after the fact did I do the research. Every author I contacted told me NOT to go with that agent. It would have saved me a lot of time and heartache if I’d done the research in advance. What additional advice would you give to those dreaming of becoming published writers?

Kelli: Take a piece of paper and paste this to your computer: Butt in Seat. That sums up what you have to do … sit there and focus and finish the book. Don’t send anything to anyone that is unfinished. Finish it, have done with it, make sure you’re happy with it, but don’t endlessly tweak it, either. Then start the query process.

And don’t repeat the mistake I made. Join Sisters in Crime, join International Thriller Writers and Mystery Writers of America! You’ll learn so much, and all of it will help. You’ll meet writers who might blurb your book when you get your contract, you’ll meet agents, you’ll learn about the industry. If you’re serious about being published, you have to be serious about the business, and these organizations will help.

Heather: Excellent advice. Tell us about the book(s) you are working on now.

Kelli: Right now, I’m working on the sequel to CITY OF DRAGONS—the working title is COUNTRY OF SPIDERS, but that may change. I’ve got a Miranda Corbie short story called “Children’s Day” coming out—it’s a prequel to CITY OF DRAGONS—in FIRST THRILLS: HIGH OCTANE STORIES FROM THE HOTTEST THRILLER WRITERS, the next ITW anthology. It’s full of stories by stellar writers and bestsellers like Michael Palmer and Jeffery Deaver next to stories by “up-and-comers”, and it’s edited by Lee Child—so you can imagine how thrilled I am to be there! The book comes out June 22 from Tor/Forge.

And the impossible did happen! My editor bought the sequel to NOX, so both series are now with Minotaur. CURSED should be out maybe at the end of this year, maybe early next year—I’m not sure yet. Meanwhile, I’ve got my hands full with the second Miranda book and launching CITY OF DRAGONS!

Heather: Congrats, Kelli, and thanks so much for taking time out of your busy promotion schedule! You can read Chapter 1 of CITY OF DRAGONS here. Also, visit Kelli Stanley's website for upcoming events, reviews, book trailers, interviews, and more.

Kelli: Thanks a million, Heather—it’s been absolutely wonderful to be here, and good luck to all your Writing on the Wall readers for success with their projects!

Top Ten Query Letter Mistakes

By Julie Wright

I went to lunch with one of my favorite authors last week, J. Scott Savage. Going to lunch with him is like being put on a battery charger. I always leave him feeling better about myself and the things I want to accomplish in my life. He made a comment that bears repeating:

If you succeed at everything you do, you probably aren't trying challenging enough things.

I concede the point, Mr. Savage. And this should feel like good news to those of us who are consistently tackling mountains. At least we know we aren't complacent.

Writer's Digest did a top ten list on query letter mistakes. I read through the list and got a few chuckles from it, wiped my brow in relief that I never have made any of those mistakes, and then wondered if they got the list right. While they are dead on with some of them, there were other mistakes that weren't mentioned that certainly deserve mentioning. So I made my own list. I borrowed a couple from theirs which I will note with a asterisk so you know where I blatantly plagiarized.

1. Beauty is only skin deep: you wrote your query but have a coffee cup stain on the paper, or you printed it out on paper that smells like day old soup. Or if you sent an e-query, your formatting gets lost on the way to the agent's computer and now looks like a jumbled mess, or your signature line has a cheesy picture of your cat in it. Remember the importance of first impressions. The moment they look at your query, you want their first impression to be good. You don't want them remembering you as the author whose query smells like soup.

2. Thy humble servant: I know it seems like it a good idea to confess your lack of experience but agents and editors don't want to know that you have no idea what you're doing even if you do think humility might win you brownie points. If you have no publishing credits, fine, but don't write things like, "This is my first book ever and though I don't have any publishing credits, I'm really hoping you'll give me a chance." Be confident. You wrote a book! You should feel accomplished.

3. Cut the cheese: I'm not talking about passing gas here, I'm talking about literally cutting the cheesy stuff out of your query letters. Don't spray your pink query letter paper with perfume. Refrain from cutesy statements, but let your personality shine. I know that seems contrary, but it is a balancing act and can be done successfully if you are careful not to put in too much information. Don't be chummy, don't be cutesy, don't be cheesy.

4. Say it isn't so: If you have a friend who's an author who might endorse your book, but who hasn't actually agreed to endorse your book, don't mention it in your query letter. If you are querying an agent and mention that an editor from some big publishing house has expressed an interest in the manuscript, you had better be telling the truth. The publishing industry is small and you'd be surprised at how everyone seems to know everyone else. Don't fib to make yourself look better.

5. Flattery will get you everywhere: It seems like a great idea to flatter, butter up, or schmooze an agent or editor, but there is a wrong and right way to go about connecting with the person you're writing to. Know their real names and their real genders. Don't assume an agent named Chris is a guy. Chris could be short for Christine. If you want to impress them, then prove you did your homework by knowing their name, their client list, the things they are specifically looking for right now. That is far more flattering than saying, "I think you are totally awesome and know we will be the very best of friends!" Editors and agents aren't looking for a BFF. They are looking for writers.

6. You aren't the only fish in the sea: Do not tell an agent that you have also queried twenty other agents. Don't send them snarky replies if they send you a rejection. Chances are good they know the twenty other agents and they will all go to lunch and swap horror stories. Be professional and respectful. These are real people with real memories--real long memories.

7. This is my first novel and it's 150,000 words: I know you feel pretty cool having written that much. And it IS cool that you wrote that much, but for a first time author, no publisher wants to commit resources to print that many words. Most adult commercial fiction is between 75,000 and 100,000, and YA is between 60,000 and 80,000words. Try hard to edit your manuscript down to fit into those parameters. It stinks to edit out words that you feel are brilliant, but far better to edit out a few so the rest can actually be read.

8. Typos: check, recheck, and check again. do not send off a query letter with a typo in it. It's only a page. It's imperative that this one page is completely clean. I know manuscripts will inevitably have a few typos, but it is your job to make the editor's job easier. Don't give them reasons to say no. *

9. This is Oprah's next favorite!: Don't tell the agent/editor that you are the next Twilight, Harry Potter, Oprah pick, or that you will definitely sell a million books because you are so brilliant. I said earlier to be confident, but that doesn't mean be cocky.

10. Boring: If you query letter is boring and reads like a third grade book report, then what is the agent/editor supposed to expect from your actual manuscript? Don't have one long paragraph for your story synopsis in the query letter, but break it up into three to four line paragraphs. That helps make it less daunting visually. And remember to keep it interesting. Think of what kind of book jacket blurb would attract you and compel you to make a book purchase. You want your query letter to hold that same sort of excitement.

2010: Looking Forward

by Heather Moore



I literally gained ten pounds writing my most recent book. It wasn’t really that I ate more chocolate (although that could be true), or ate more fast food to cut back on shopping or cooking time (although that might be true as well), but as I became so caught up in finishing the project, it seemed that every spare moment was be used in writing, not exercising.

This week, I managed to go running (30% running/ 70% walking) three times. This is a record since probably, oh, August. Because it’s freezing in my city, I dragged my 12 year old with me to the local rec center to run the track. Monday was quiet there, Tuesday was busier, and by Thursday it was packed.

As we maneuvered ourselves in and out of other eager runners, I told my daughter, “It will stay packed like this through January, then by the first week of February only a few will remain.”

Ah, the New Year’s Resolutions, and the initial burst of energy and determination that fades almost as quickly as it starts. I have seen this lately with many writer friends. Queries have been sent out in a flurry in November and December, many times unpolished. Rejections have already filtered in, and discouragement has set in. One of my friends, after four rejections in just a few weeks, completely gave up.

It’s hard to stay motivated and positive as we write and submit. We might spend a weekend researching agents and by Monday morning we have submitted to six or eight of them. But in a recent WD article, agent Ann Rittenberg says she receives 3,000 queries per year, and 75% are for novels. Of that, 90% are for first novels, meaning 2,000 queries are for first novels. Ann says that “80 percent of those query letters about first novels never should have been sent” (“Submitting Your Novel: Basics of a Solid 3-Paragraph Query,” Writer’s Digest, January 2010, 62). Ann also says that many of those queries are for types of books that she doesn’t represent, or it’s obvious that the writers “were not ready to be published and the books were not ready to be agented.” (ibid)

But what if we are ready? We’ve finished the book, gone through revisions with trusted editors, written a powerful query, and we are still receiving rejections? Do we stop going to the track? Stop running altogether?

Looking forward to 2010, my advice is:
1. Use rejections to improve your work. Slow down a little and put in the right effort to submit to the right agent. Researching agents and/or publishers will be worth your time.
2. Understand that the submitting process is a waiting game, which means that you need to have more than just one writing goal.
3. Stay open to ideas and options. There are many genres and avenues you can get published through.
4. Don’t just set "be all, end all" writing goals, but set back-up goals when you reach that left turn.
5. As we know, writing is not for the faint-hearted. It’s wonderful to create, but there will come a point when you feel as if you are slugging through the muddy marshes of revising.

James Michener said, “Being goal-oriented instead of self-oriented is crucial. I know many people who want to be writers. But let me tell you, they really don’t want to be writers. They want to have been writers. They wish they had a book in print. They don’t want to go through the work of getting the damn book out. There is a huge difference.” (as quoted in WD, Jan 2010, 46)

Will you still be “running” in February? I hope so!

Subjectivity and Quality

by Annette Lyon

Generally speaking, if you hand over a really bad writing sample to a qualified reader (such as an editor or agent), they'll likely recognize it as trash.

Do the same with a mediocre piece of writing, and the result will be the same.

But what about works that range from pretty good to really great?

Says who?

There's a huge range where opinion and subjectivity step in. It's why agent after agent passed on Harry Potter before someone decided they loved it . . . and it did what no other series has ever done in history.

It's why some people hate Twilight while others are obsessed with the series.

It's why you can find rejection letters out there addressed to some of the best writers the world has ever created.

And it's why some people love Faulkner while others can't stand him.

Once a writer reaches a certain skill level, "quality" becomes a bit vague. Objectivity exists only to a point.

Remember that when submitting your work. I've followed agent blogs where they admit that a writer had the chops, but that the style or topic just wasn't their cup of tea, or they didn't think they personally could sell it.

Recently I've been involved with a published author awards program and the judging involved with it. It's been fascinating to hear different judges' opinions. By and large, certain books had a consensus (this one was really great, that one was really poor). But several titles garnered totally conflicting opinions.

In several cases, judges were stunned that certain titles weren't finalists, while another judge might have seriously disliked the same book.

Each and every judge was extremely qualified. Yet none of them had the exact same opinion, and sometimes they clashed on what was a quality book and what wasn't.

Of course you should constantly try to improve. After a rejection, analyzing your work critically to see if they're right can only help.

But at the same time, remember that sometimes a rejection simply means that you haven't found the right person to look at your work yet. Maybe it is fantastic, and you just need to get it into the hands of someone who "gets" and likes you and your style.

Here's one more evidence that writing can be extremely subjective: personally, I never did see why so many people like Faulkner. Ugh.

Does this stuff ever happen to anyone else????

By Julie Wright

I sent off several queries to agents for a new national book I have. This is a good thing. It's great to write books, but if those books never leave your computer and venture out in the world on their own, what good are they?

So I did the practice-what-you-preach thing and sent off my queries. That night, my website got jacked by some actress in LA. Her website is pink. I am not exactly a pink kind of human being. I respect all those who love pink and respectfully decline to join them. I threw a fit at my poor webmaster. He promised me he would get it fixed.

I awoke the next morning to an acupuncturist on my website. At least it wasn't pink. I worried about it a little, thinking about those queries I'd sent off and wondering if agents genuinely looked at the websites listed amongst the author information.

"Nah!" I told myself. Agents are busy and the chances of one actually going to my site were slimmer than the jeans I wore as a teenager.

Or not.

I got an email later that afternoon that began with, "I liked your query and went to look at your other publications. They look adorable." The heavens opened and the angels sang. As I kept reading, that singing I was hearing turned to raucous laughter. The agent had gone to my site and then got "stuck" there due to the neat-o flaws of my website's hosting servers. In this modern day of scams, spam, and viruses, and since the agent's computer shares a network with everyone in the agency, the agent felt a little apprehensive.

It seemed like an elaborate hoax to the agent and they weren't all that appreciative. And the email that began with praise ended with a scolding.

I screamed enough my voice went hoarse. I wrote the agent back the most insane email I've ever written. And I hit send. Yeah.

Seriously am I cursed? Does this sort of thing ever happen to anyone else? I totally don't blame the agent for feeling irritated. I certainly felt irritation! I wanted to weep. So I did what I always do in a crisis of literary nature. I called Josi. She laughed and helped me to see the humor. Another author to share such misery is a vital thing. While I lamented to my dear friend (whose book, Her Good Name, is simply a must read) another email popped up on my screen from the agent.

It was a very friendly, upbeat letter of understanding and commiseration over my internet woes. It was also a request for the full manuscript. And also a request for the manuscript to be sent snail mail . . . just in case. That last request struck me as really funny and made me like this agent as a human being, whether they take me into their agency or not, I will always have good things to say about them.

The moral of this story:

• Never include anything in your query letter that you don't want your agent or editor seeing. If you include a website, your website needs to be active and professional. Granted, my situation was a result of bad timing and psychosis, but it's good to know they actually do pay attention to what information you include.
• Agents are people too, with worries and a sense of humor.
• Get yourself a good writer buddy. A phone call with a writer buddy is better than a pound of chocolate, cheaper than therapy, and more effective than drinking.
• Even after four published books, *those* days still happen.

Warning: I do NOT suggest this as a way to woo agents.

Happy Writing My Friends!

The Perfect Pitch

I believed writing would be something almost spiritual. I believed I would sit upon the rocky cliffs overlooking the ocean in a white dress, while the waves would splash my toes with ocean spray. With this perfect setting, I would write feverishly, pen to paper. The muse would sit on my shoulder and whisper in my ear.

I've grown up and learned a few things--writing is more like chaining myself to my chair and having the willpower not to check email or visit my friend's blogs. And the muse? I think my muse is busy flirting with somebody else's muse because she has never once been helpful. There's a reason why my muse never gets any credit on the acknowledgement page of my novels.

But worse than the harsh reality of writing is the harsh reality of publishing. I never once imagined that this art form I am so in love with would equate to me having to become a SALESMAN.

Yet here I am.

I went to a pitch session last week with Kevin Wasden (my fav artist) for a project we collaborated on. My legs felt like water, my pulse raced, and the editor had strategically placed himself in front of the window so he was a dark shadow against the bright light of day. I felt like I was facing down a mob boss.

In just a few minutes, I had to give him the perfect pitch--the one that would entice him to ASK for MORE. I had to become a salesman.

I hate selling. It's so crass to consider literature as a product to peddle. And I wonder, is it worth it, especially for people who aren't usually as well-spoken as they are well written?

Yes. Meeting face to face with an editor or agent personalizes you to them. If they like you they will WANT to like your manuscript too. They will want to give you a chance to prove you're worth your weight in words.

First things first, the words you will use in a pitch are not the words you would see on a book flap. You don't want vague danglings of description in your pitch, you want to be brief and concise. Get to the point and do it fast (this is my biggest flaw, I have no ability at brevity).

But I started thinking of my novels as products that needed to be sold. It helped me to understand what exactly I wanted to accomplish at a pitch session. In my younger years, I dreamed of being a high powered advertising executive riding the subway and wearing a black power suit. I put that dream back to use when I realized I needed to sell my own product. Give yourself three to five sentences in which to describe your book. Keep it quick and to the point. Don't tangent on minor characters or minor plots. You need to give them something they can take back to their marketing team and SELL.

Be prepared. My husband has spent a lot of time in an acting career. He never goes to an audition unprepared. This means he records himself doing his monologue and then listens to it while he's driving. He practices everywhere he goes over and over and over until he has it down perfect. Your pitch needs to be like that. You need to be able to smile, say hello, and give your pitch with ease. Practice it. Time yourself so you know how long it takes. Be prepared, so when you meet that favorite agent, you aren't stuttering. Part of being prepared at an actual pitch session is being comfortable talking a bit about you as an author--give your ideas, your vision, prove you can go the distance and deliver. You have to genuinely believe that what you have is what they want.

Whenever someone starts a conversation with the words, "I really don't know what I'm doing and don't have anything to say, I take them at face value and automatically tune them out. If you don't believe in you, don't expect me to.

Know what category your book falls in. Do not say, "Well it's a mystery sort of romance, with some action adventure thrown in. It all takes place in a fantasy world, but with science fiction technology." You have to know where this book sits on a shelf in a bookstore. As in advertising, if a company walks in with a new product, the ad company needs to know who they are going to market it to in order to be able to run a successful campaign. If you were going to walk into a bookstore right now, in what section would you look for your book? What similar books are out there? Why is yours different and therefore worthy of notice?

Know who you're pitching to. If an agent comes to your conference, and they only agent for bodice ripping romances, they may not be the best person for your picture book. Don't waste your time or theirs. Familiarize yourself with what clients the agent has, or what books the publisher has recently produced. Yes, this does sound a little like sucking up, but what it means is that you were clever enough to do your own research. It means you are professional enough to do your homework. It means you're worth working with.

Don't defend yourself. I kid you not, I was standing outside the door of a hotel room once during pitch sessions and I honestly heard an author tell the editor she was pitching to that he had no clue what he was doing. I may be wrong, but that may not be the best way to get a contract. I'm still staggered by the absurdity of not taking the advice of a trained professional simply because you're feeling a little bruised and prideful.

Don't gossip, backbite, or act like a fool. The writing industry is a small community. You never know who knows who. Play nice in the sandbox, remember the golden rule, and don't monopolize an agent or editor's time.

I am giving this advice because I am preparing to go to New York where I will be doing a lot of pitching. This little blog is a good refresher course for me too. May we find favor with the kings and queens of ink and paper.