Monday Mania--Query Letter

One of our readers submitted a query letter for critique. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0041:

Dear AGENT:

The Trinity captures the epic journey of Julian White as she joins the Trinity, triplet teen boys Dresden, Ethan and Garrett, on discovering who they are and where they came from. The legendary royal Trinity are unaware that the hidden, mystical island of Athlendora is their true home. As infants, their parents brought them to the safety of the small town of Luray, Virginia for their protection against Zamir, the man determined to kill them because of the legend; for if it comes true, it will ruin his plans to become ruler of Athlendora.

Mathias, the Trinity’s father, is waiting to tell his boys about their history until they receive their powers at the age of eighteen. Little does he know that his boys have already received their powers—the ability to teleport among other things—much earlier then expected. While Mathias is out looking for his kidnapped wife whom is being held for ransom for the Cathriona—a necklace of magnificent power—the enemy is trying unsuccessfully to kill the Trinity. Mathias is alerted to the attacks when Ethan’s destined sword Leazar makes an appearance. Mathias is comforted that the sword has found its master for he knows the sword will tell Ethan what to do when danger is near.

Soon the Trinity’s bravery and power will be tested when an unexpected enemy breaks into their home and attacks them to retrieve the hidden Cathriona necklace.

The Trinity is the first of a trilogy that unfolds the romance between Dresden and Julian, the significant destiny of the Trinity, and the mysterious island of Athlendora.

Since you represent young adult romance novels, I feel you would be a good fit for my manuscript. The first completed novel of 80,000 words is available for your review.

Thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

WRITER

Advice from a Pro

By Julie Wright

I went to Life The Universe and Everything as a panelist at BYU this last week and got some great information. I thought I would highlight a few of the key things I took away from this conference.

*Fiction isn't fact, but it is truth. Fiction allows us each to see the truth based on our own experiences and frame of reference.

*All fiction is lies. Our jobs as authors is to make the lie plausible. This seems a direct contradiction to the first comment, but it's not--not really. It connects in pretty well.

*You cannot break the rules of writing until you know them, until you've practiced them, until you've earned the right to break them intelligently. -- Tracy Hickman I could not agree more. Don't get clever with tense if you don't understand tense. If you want to write, then learn the rules. Work on your craft. Breaking rules you don't understand isn't artistic, it's ignorant. Learn them.

*Where there is no story, humans create it. We think and exist in story format. --Tracy Hickman I considered all the times I've gone to tell someone anything, about an event, or a situation. I always speak in a story format. I set it up as a story. And it isn't just because I'm a writer. I've paid attention. Everyone does this. Story is undeniably linked to the human condition.

*It doesn't matter if you're published. Being published is nothing. It is everything to be read. --Tracy Hickman This is absolute truth. My first book was published by a very small press. I was published. It was exciting! But was a I read? no. No, not really. And looking back, I am glad I wasn't read. it was a first book. I was a very green author. I had no idea what the rules were. I had no idea about craft. I had a long way to go. Being published isn't really the goal of a writer. What we want is to be read. We want to enter that dialogue with the reader. We want the intimacy of pulling readers into worlds we created--even if we'll never meet those readers, even if we're separated from those readers by continents, or even centuries. What a writer really longs for its to be read. The best way to achieve that is to learn the craft and write well.

The Fear

By Josi S. Kilpack

I had the chance to talk with a Humanities class at Utah State University on Thursday about being a writer. After the class, a handful of students came up to ask me some questions. We talked for about half an hour about their own personal journeys with writing, much of what we talked about was fear.

I'm afraid to let anyone read it.
I'm afraid that I'm not writing fast enough.
I'm afraid I'm wasting my time.
I'm afraid of being rejected.
I'm afraid of not knowing my ending when I start.

I did what I could to help alleviate the fears that each of these budding writers had and encourage them to move forward. On the way home I felt almost silly. I talked a good talk and I do hope I inspired them to work on what's holding them back, but I worry that I talked as though I have no more fears. I mean, I'm Published! I've arrived! I reached that goal! What do I have to be afraid of?

I'm afraid my current book is garbage.
I'm scared to death of Goodreads reviews.
I'm afraid all the stories are starting to sound like each other.
I'm afraid that my children will grow up to resent what my writing took from them.
I'm afraid my publisher will have a month of revisions for me.
I'm afraid my sales will go down.
I'm afraid that my lifestyle is adjusting to my current royalties and it won't last.
I'm afraid of the newer, younger, hipper writers doing such great stuff.
I'm terrified of ever having to find an agent.
I'm afraid of my publisher deciding they hate working with me.

I'm afraid that my writing isn't as good as it could be.
I'm afraid that I'm writing too fast.
I'm afraid that my current scene will end up being cut, wasting the hours I've spent on it.
I'm afraid of coming across as arrogant.
I'm afraid of writing blog posts that don't sound as good as everyone elses.
I'm afraid that one day I'll realize I hate writing.
I'm afraid that one day I'll run out of stories completely.
I'm afraid that my house will never be clean again.
I'm afraid that one day I won't be HERE and I'll miss it.
I'm afraid I'll never get THERE and I'll feel like a failure.
I'm scared that I'm at page 239 and don't know the ending.
I'm worried about finishing by my deadline.
I'm scared to ask my beta-readers to read another book.
I'm afraid that I haven't taken advantage of every opportunity out there.
I'm afraid my fears are holding me back.
I'm afraid of taking on anything new.
I'm afraid of not using my abilities in every way I can.

I know that fear is part of life, that overcoming our fears makes us stronger. But it doesn't feel that way when you're in it, when the fear is pressing down on you and you can't imagine opening the door to see what's standing behind it. I am afraid. Of many things. And yet I keep writing. Sometimes I wonder why. Sometimes I know the answer. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm so tired of it, and sometimes I feel like I'd shrivel up and die without it.

So why do I do it? Why do those students do it? Why do you do it? I think each of us are driven by different things, but I believe all those things tie back to something divine--some way in which our writing is meant to not only bless the lives of other people, but bless our lives as well. And I don't think that blessing for ourselves will be a published book on the shelf of a library. At least, not the biggest blessing. I believe that the blessing is in the hunt, the journey, the digging down within ourselves as we seek for that buried treasure. I think we'll find other things along the way--discipline, goal setting, learning, re-learning, friendships, teaching, lifting others, and lifting ourselves. I believe as we drop our chin and push through the storms of our own self-doubt, we will become stronger people, not just stronger writers. But I also believe that the fear will never entirely leave us. There will always be something to be afraid of--always. And sometimes we'll drown in it, even though we tell ourselves we're stronger than that. And sometimes we'll thrash about and swim for shore and make it out of the quagmire enough to see the distance we've covered.

Anytime we commit to pursue something akin to creation, something that will stand in our way. Because creating is divine, there will always be those influences determined to stop us, to leave us cowering in the corner, to have us giving in to the belief that there is just no way we can do it. I'm not going to tell you to embrace the fear, or stab it through the heart. You can't kill it. You can't ignore it entirely. The best you can do is move forward anyway, accepting that while you write your stories you are living your own. And your story will be fraught with difficulty and triumph, whimpering and song, success and failure. Accept it, and keep going, and be sure to take the time every now and again to look over your shoulder at the battle fields you've already passed through, count the enemy you have slain and then look into the eyes of the next one. Bit by bit, day by day, one sentence at a time. The fears you face now CAN stop you if you so choose, but understand that if you keep going and this fear eventually lies dead at your feet, another will rise up. Do not look at your writing as a solitary goal, rather see it for what it is--a journey that does not end until you throw up your hands and decide the game is over. It's all up to you. Every bit of it. Allow yourself to get stronger by writing despite the fears; putting yourself out there despite all the reasons you don't want to.

Now I'm afraid I've gone on too long about this...

Happy Writing.

Which Way—DO-IT-YOURSELF or Traditional

By Lu Ann Brobst Staheli
(Originally published in The Writer, February 2010)

Publishing has gone through a dramatic upheaval in recent years, with conglomerates gobbling up small houses, while desktop publishing and print-on-demand options have opened the doors for anyone to become a published author. With publishing budgets tightening and promotional dollars almost nonexistent for all but the guaranteed bestsellers of “brand” authors, traditional publishers are passing over many well-written manuscripts.

A number of well-known authors with high- volume sales have come from the nontraditional route, and traditional, bestselling authors have turned to self-publishing for niche or quickturn-around products, rather than wait for a publisher.

But a history of poorly designed and edited self-published books leaves most authors struggling with the age-old dilemma: What do you do when you can’t find a traditional publisher for your work? Should you self-publish or continue your search?

Several self-published bestsellers have proved themselves and their authors worthy of notice. Authors William P. Young (The Shack), James Redfield (The Celestine Prophesy), Rhonda Byrne (The Secret), Christopher Paolini (Eragon) and Richard Paul Evans (The Christmas Box) all made their debut with self-published works, thereby launching their careers.

For every successful self-published book, though, a thousand more sell only a handful of copies, mostly to family and friends, often leaving cases of unsold books. According to Chris Anderson, author of The Long Tail, a nonfiction marketing title, the average book in America sells about 500 copies, so perhaps traditionally published books face a similar fate.

Neither kind of publishing is a guarantee of success. Traditional publishing has fewer risks, but self-publishing could be a place to start if the conditions are right for your book. As someone who has published both types of books, let me offer a few thoughts to help you weigh the pros and cons.

Why traditional publishing?
The obvious answer is because that’s the way the market currently works. Books that traditional publishers put out offer a sense of built-in credibility that self-published books have a hard time earning.

Plus, big name, big-budget houses can offer authors advances and promotional materials and garner book reviews from important publications—perks that are often difficult, if not impossible, for the author of a self-published book to arrange. These houses can also get your books into stores where customers can buy them, whereas self-published books may not be accepted by book buyers for retail stores.

Do you want to publish in order to begin a writing career, or to obtain self-gratification—to be able to say, “I’ve published a book”? Earning royalties is a more secure route than paying for editing, design and printing costs yourself. Having a professionally prepared product represents your talent better than the poorly produced book you might get if you choose the wrong self-publisher.

Why self-publishing?
First of all, a rejection by a traditional publisher does not automatically mean self-publishing is right for you. Perhaps your book isn’t as ready as you thought. Maybe its scope is too large or the competition too fierce, or the readership isn’t there, or the writing lacks polish. A rejection could also mean that a house’s list is full, that it recently published another book on that topic, or that your book doesn’t quit fit what it needs. None of these reasons would necessarily keep
your book from success.

Second, don’t self-publish to impress a traditional publisher. It might be a foot in the door, but few small houses will elect to reprint a book that’s already been self-published, especially if your book sales have saturated a niche market. Larger houses might be impressed by a significant sales volume and offer a contract because of your efforts, if they think they can tap a new market.

These caveats aside, let’s look at whether self-publishing might be right for you. Consider whether your book fits into one of the following categories:

Your project doesn’t fit the format of the traditional publisher’s other releases. “When I first tried to publish The Christmas Box,” Evans says, “publishers didn’t know what to do with it. The manuscript was too long for a short story and too short for a novel—so they rejected it. The book had already proven it had an audience when I printed copies for my friends and family, so I went the self-published route to satisfy local demand. Four hundred thousand copies later, Simon & Schuster bought the rights to publish the hardcover.”

You don’t have time to wait for acceptance. With my book When Hearts Conjoin, speed was of the essence. The book is about conjoined twins Kendra and Maliyah Herrin, of Salt Lake City, who were separated in a 25-hour surgery in 2006. The twins had been invited to make their third appearance on Oprah, and the TLC Network was doing a documentary about them that would air soon. We were working on a tight deadline to have the book published in time—a deadline that did not grant us the luxury of writing, pitching and working within a publisher’s calendar. It was only nine months from the time the twins’ mother and I started writing until the book was in our hands.

You face closed or limited publication opportunities. Sometimes a story needs to be told, even when publishers don’t have a place in their catalog. David Farland, author of Chaosbound, a bestselling novel from a traditional publisher, recalls, “I felt deeply touched by the story of the Willie Handcart Company —a group of Mormon pioneers who crossed the plains with only what they could carry in handcarts—and so I began to study it with an eye toward writing the tale. Unfortunately, In the Company of Angels [a novel] was too long for my regular niche publisher. I knew the other few houses within the target market had recently released books on the same topic, so I decided to self-publish.”

You have a targeted niche market for your book. Annette Lyon, author of the novel Tower of Strength, has a loyal fan base not only for her traditionally published inspirational fiction, but also for the weekly Word Nerd column on her blog. “Readers of my column kept asking for a grammar book,” she says, “but I knew the kind of thing they were looking for wouldn’t be a good fit with a traditional publisher. I decided to self-publish and promote a book [titled There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar From the Word Nerd] for my readers and [to sell it] at writing conferences where I taught grammar and editing workshops. So far, I’ve been pleased with my sales, I’ve satisfied my target audience, and I continue to look for ways to expand my readership.”

Here are some other issues to mull:
Do you have a built-in readership? “After rejections by the big publishers,” author Kenny Kemp says, “I self-published my first novel, I Hated Heaven. My next book, Dad Was a Carpenter [a novel], won the grand prize in the 1999 International Self-Published Book Awards. Within days I had secured a top-flight agent and in just a matter of weeks, we made a great deal with HarperCollins to reprint Carpenter. My writing had found a wider audience, but that never would have happened if I hadn’t first taken the step of self-publishing.”

Do you know how to market to your audience? When Evans wanted to publish his first nonfiction book, The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me, he returned to his fictional roots in self-publishing. “I’d been teaching the concepts from ‘The Five Lessons’ at workshops for a while and I knew I had an audience, but I wanted to experiment with how best to sell the book,” Evans says. “So, I self-published in order to test it. Once I knew how to market it, I sold the book to Fireside.”

Do you have access to your audience? Many authors find themselves giving workshops, lectures or performances that put them in front of an audience that wants more. Making books available for purchase after a presentation can play an important part in your marketing plan. A great example is Psychic Madman, which I’m collaborating on with mentalist/magician Jim Karol. Most of its sales will directly follow Karol’s college appearances. The Betrayed, my collaboration with a former police officer who believes he was unfairly fired, will be pitched in his TV appearances. Another of my collaborations, The Book of Alan, an upcoming memoir by Alan Osmond, part of the performing Osmond family, will be marketed to the vast number of Osmond fans around the world. In other words, if you already have a platform—an audience to sell your work to—then selling the book is easier.

What types of books lend themselves well to self-publishing? Self-published nonfiction books tend to be more successful than fiction. Business and self-help books in particular find success because they can be delivered so many ways: as e-books, PDF files and print-on-demand books. Fiction can find an audience when the marketing is done right, but the process of building a readership may take more time.

What do I do when I publish? If you self-publish, nonfiction or fiction, plan on doing the following, or your book is unlikely to ever be successful:

• Hire a professional editor/proofreader and follow her advice.

• Hire a professional illustrator or graphic artist for your cover design and interior illustrations.

• Consider hiring a typesetter to design the interior of your book to look like those currently on the market.

• Read the fine print in your book producer’s contract before signing.

• Know what your remunerations are and what rights you keep.

• Obtain endorsements.

• Have a marketing plan in advance.

• Make personal appearances.

Of course, this list is nearly the same when you are marketing a book with a traditional publisher. The differences are that the latter provides editing, design and typesetting, and may help you get endorsements. In addition, the work of its marketing department (theoretically) leaves you more time to write instead of using your time to self-market.

Self-publishing can be a rewarding proposition when the book is right, but weigh your options carefully before you decide to go with this more difficult road. It can be a springboard to future projects, but so can a successful release from a traditional publisher.

Know what you want, then don’t be afraid to follow your dream. Whether it leads you to a traditional publisher or to self-publishing, a book will move you into the enviable category of published author—a place thousands of people would love to be.

Show, Not Tell, Second-Grade Style

by Annette Lyon

Recently my daughter wrote a story on the private blog she and her sister have. She included two photos with some toys in it, posed.

Both photos included a large, stuffed animal (a white, striped tiger), Snowflake.

Photo one: On top of the tiger, right on its head, is a small doll (roughly Barbie-sized), and in the voice of the doll, the post proclaims she's pretty good at climbing Snowflake, but a friend, Mia, well, she's still getting used to the climb. Oh, and it looks like Snowflake has a new hairdo.

The second photo: Mia, the American Girl doll, collapsed on top of the tiger, with only her hair visible, spread across the tiger's head like a wig.

Giggling, my daughter showed me the short story and her pictures, declaring with pride, "Look! I didn't say Mia fell over when she tried climbing Snowflake. I said she was still getting used to climbing Snowflake and then joked about Snowflake's new hair. See? I showed it!"

Cool part: She was absolutely right. Of course, it worked in part because she had photos to accompany the story. But the point remains: she never came out and stated what happened. The reader/viewer had to infer it. (And then laugh, because it was pretty clever of her.)

Figuring out when and how to show instead of tell can seem like a heavy burden and a big job. For me, it seems a bit easier to do when I look at it in terms of Mia and Snowflake.

Heck, if a second grader can get it, I should be able to figure it out, even for something as complex as a novel . . . just take it one showing moment at a time.

Spinning Plates

Lu Ann Brobst Staheli

First of all, let me say it feels great to be back. Okay, some of you may be wondering where I’ve been, and some of you may not even know I was gone because, other than a guest interview in 2009, I’ve been absent from the blog since 2008, when I was a regular columnist.

Where on earth did that time go? Honestly, I was surprised at how long it had been since I’d written a column for PEG. I didn’t mean for my absence to be so long, and I certainly hadn’t forgotten about our growing audience.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been working with many of our readers in another capacity, as an editor. So, a wave “hello” to all of you who I’ve been working with, a “thanks for welcoming me back” to the rest of the PEG editors who’ve been carrying the load while I was gone, and a “nice to meet you” to anyone who doesn’t remember me even hanging around here many years ago.

I’ll try to do better—I honestly will—but like many of you who are working hard at being a writer, I also have other full time jobs which sometimes keep me from doing everything I’d like to do, even when those activities are worthy and beneficial to myself and those I’m working with as an editor.

A few years ago, when I was on a panel filled with teachers and authors at a conference at UVU, I described myself as the Plate Spinner guy on the Ed Sullivan Show. If you’re not old enough to remember, this guy—did we ever know his name?—had several long poles that were flexible enough to keep in constant motion. He would put a plate on top of each pole and move it back and forth to start the plate spinning. His job then for the next few minutes was to keep all the plates spinning at the same time. Sometimes a plate or two would slow down enough to make the audience worry the guy wouldn’t get to them in time to keep the plate from crashing to the floor and breaking.

Such is the life of a freelance writer.

As freelance writers we want to write something for which we can be paid. That means we have to come up with an idea, write enough of a pitch or outline an article, then set it on the query pole and send it spinning on its way. Then we do it again and again and again until we get a response of YES from an editor.

Once that answer comes, we are busy spinning the drafting pole. How many words did we promise in length? We told the editor we could have the final copy ready by when? What could we have been thinking? This pole has to move fast, fast, fast if we don’t want to break the plate that also holds our future career with this publication.

Sometimes we have to do research which sets the next pole into motion as we try to find the facts we need to support the article or book we are writing. Check and double check, locate a reliable source, and attempt to do it all within the confines of our already ridiculous daily schedule.

Then there is the editing pole. This pole can start in motion all by itself at a moment’s notice and have a killer deadline. “I’ve attached the final edits on your 70,000 words manuscript. Take a look at it and get it back to us as soon as possible. We’d like to go to print the day after tomorrow.” What?! All other spinning plates may suddenly find themselves in jeopardy of falling as you give your full attention to maintaining this one. There’s no way you can let your book or article be printed without having one last chance to make sure nothing horrible has happened during typesetting. Your writer’s reputation depends on it.

If you’ve written a book, once it’s published, along come the marketing and promotion poles, which sometimes work in tandem, but often mean extra work as you try to increase your sales. Interviews, book launch parties, bookstore signings, TV appearances, blog tours, conference presentations, social networking—and the list goes on.

In the meantime, you’re back at pole one, working on the next pitch, writing the next piece for publication, and doing all in your power to keep all of those poles and the plates on top spinning in full action.

All because we want to be a paid writer.

Oh, and don’t forget the other poles you might be spinning—another job, a husband and children, church and service obligations, friendships, and even finding time for yourself can all have plates that must keep spinning.

With all this spinning, I’m suddenly finding myself a little dizzy. I think I’ll take a break from writing.

But I promise, I won’t be gone another two years before you hear back from this plate spinner. As a matter of fact, I already have an idea for next week’s blog entry...

Options Open

by Annette Lyon

Back when I first imagined being a published writer, I assumed my books would be young adult fantasies. That's what I first wrote and submitted.

My first publications were something slightly different: a local newspaper piece celebrating the anniversary of a local event and an article in a scrapbooking newsletter.

I went on to do more freelance article work (to date, I've made over 100 sales), but fiction is and has always been my first love. So I kept writing young adult fantasy.

Until I didn't.

I went to writing conferences and started rubbing shoulders with people in the business. I got new ideas, saw new possibilities, new markets. And I ended up with brand new ideas for a totally different kind of book.

Years (and many manuscripts and rejections) later, I ended up publishing two contemporary romances, four historicals, and a women's novel.

To say that wasn't what I expected would be an understatement. And then another detour: I had the chance to write a chocolate cookbook.

Not something I ever in a million years would have expected to do, yet there was that door opening. I wasn't about to say no.

Since my first publications well over a decade ago, I've done editing work for individuals as well as companies. I've been paid for script writing, proofing, and press kits.

I wrote a grammar guide and self-published it (again, something I would have seen as way off in left field when I first started).

The rights on my first two books reverted to me. The first is now on Kindle, and the second will be within days. I have plans to get more books onto the Kindle without a publisher. And I still plan to publish traditionally as well.

At times, I feel like my head is spinning with all the different directions my career has taken me. I literally need about half a dozen sheets in an Excel workbook to keep it all straight.

And I love it.

I love how many opportunities come my way. I've learned that while the work clothes they arrive in may not match my original expectation, when they knock, I should go for 'em.

Some benefits:

So much in the process of writing a variety of fields has taught me lessons that improve my work in every area. (Even technical script writing can help my fiction. Shocking, but true.)

I have multiple streams of income. This is particularly nice between the two-times-a-year royalty checks.

I'm motivated to improve and work hard, because much of my work comes through referrals. If I do a good job for one client, there's a good chance they'll pass along my name when a friend needs help.

My skills as a public speaker have improved. The more I write and work, the more I've been asked to speak. Writing is a solitary endeavor. Public speaking used to terrify me. Now I know I can get in front of a crowd and have something worthwhile to offer them.

More doors open all the time. I'm amazed at how many new things keep coming up the pike for me. I'm to the point where I have to sit back and decide what is most worth my time, because there really isn't time for it all. (What a great problem to have!)

So no, my writing career doesn't resemble my original idea of it, not hardly. The one exception is that I can go to a bookstore and see my books on the shelf with my name on them. (Which, I will say, is totally awesome.)

Beyond that, I do a lot of work that most of my novel readers will likely never see. I don't mind; I love that I have so many opportunities to make money and publish and WRITE. I enjoy every bit of it.

So when a writing opportunity opens up, don't slam the door shut because it's not part of the image you've created in your head. Look a little closer; by letting it in, you may adding a future opportunity that could lead to bigger and better things.

Loving the Competition

by julie wright

Several years ago, I attended World Fantasy and made a new friend who was new to the novel-writing world. She'd spent several years in the screenplay writing world. I loved her immediately and spent pretty much the whole weekend laughing with her.

I already had an agent at the time of this conference, but several of my friends didn't. So I made a point of agent trolling for them--introducing them to agents, talking them up to agents, and making sure that they had opportunities available to them. I wasn't the only one doing this. We were friends helping friends. It's what you do.

My new friend made a comment that stuck with me. She said, "I've never seen a business model where people are so willing to help one another--especially when those people they're helping are also their direct competition."

I hadn't ever really thought about it in terms like that before. They were my friends, and they were writers. I already had an agent and they didn't . . . so why wouldn't I want to help them? The other authors who were in my same shoes obviously felt the same way, because they were all there--helping each other.

This last week, the 2010 Whitney Awards finalists were announced. The Whitney Awards are a niche awards system for writers. A lot of my friends were eligible. I was eligible. And a lot of people who I love didn't make it into the finalist round. It was hard not having them there. It was more than just hard--it actually hurt to not have them there.

There have been times when I've felt left behind as an author. Times when my friends have acquired agents and national contracts and New York Times bestseller status. And they did all this without me.

Being left behind in that way feels like going to summer camp. At this camp, your friends all get put in the same cabin over by the lake where they have bonfires and canoe races. And while they're having a great time in their cabin, you're stuck in the bed wetters cabin. And it hurts. You feel lonely and left out and . . .

Jealousy kicks in.

I admit to this. Jealousy has reared its ugly head on several occasions for me. I'm so happy my friends are in good places--so happy when they hit the Times list, so happy when they get a six figure advance, so happy when they sell foreign rights in countries I haven't even heard of. And yet sometimes, it's easy to feel left behind.

When the finalists were announced, I thought a lot about the cabins and jealousies and love. I was a finalist, but several people I love weren't. Not having them with me hurt as much as when I couldn't go with others. I want their careers to be successful. I want them to succeed and believe in themselves.

And I know they're rooting for me in that same way. They want my success. They want me in the cabin with the bonfires and canoe races. And it occurred to me today that it isn't a race to the end where only one person can win. There is room for good books. There is room for a LOT of good books.

It's a matter of being brave enough to improve in your craft, to keep putting yourself out there, and making sure that you're paying it forward. Helping others get where they want to go feels really good. And loving your competition goes a long way to keep from feeling frustrated in your own endeavors.

Monday Mania--First Page

One of our readers submitted a first page for critique. A first page of a manuscript must hook an agent or editor. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive: 0040

A fistful of mayonnaise makes a decent projectile in a pinch. If I'd been thinking more clearly, I would have grabbed a handful of jalapenos instead, but my vision did this red blurry anger thing and when I ran after Brandon Willardson's black Jeep, what I threw was . . . mayo. It's probably harder to clean up and it's better that way, really. I owe him twice that for the garbage he pulled in my store. I only wish I didn't mean that literally.

I trudged back inside, satisfied with the nasty splat the mayo made before it oozed down Brandon's pristine paint job. It was only fair considering the disaster he left behind him in the sandwich shop. I pushed the door open and it swept aside approximately fourteen thousand of the napkins Brandon and his lame friends had strewn all over the floor. Katie and Tara huddled behind the sandwich bar like the sneeze guard was their last line of defense against me. Which it was.

I said nothing, just stared. Katie cracked first, like I knew she would.

“I'm so sorry,” she said, verging on a blubber. “I don't know what happened!”

I lifted one eyebrow slowly, the way my mom does when we're in trouble and you know the longer it takes to reach its full arch, the more trouble you're in. Even mouthy Tara shifted nervously now. I slowly scanned the wreckage inside Handy's Dandy Sandwiches and then eyeballed them again. “How do you not see this coming?”

A high pitched seal bark escaped Katie. It was her nervous laugh, an involuntary reflex that I hoped for the sake of her future social life, she outgrew soon. Her laugh had summoned me from the back office to catch Brandon Willardson's Band of Merry Idiots wreaking their usual havoc in the dining area. Like his older brothers before him, Brandon had no regard for rules, common sense, or (it could be argued) common decency. Just ask his numerous mooning victims.

Time: Friend or Foe?

by Annette Lyon

Recently on a forum, I saw a question from a struggling writer that amounted to, "How do I know if my writing is any good?"

The man had reread what he thought was good yesterday, and suddenly it didn't sound so good.

Was it good?

Was it garbage?

Several people gave great advice. Here's mine.

When you first draft something, it's "hot off the press" as they say. You're too close to the piece to view it objectively. It really might be atrocious. Or a diamond. But you can't tell. At least, not yet.

This is when time is your best friend. Keep writing, and when you've finished the draft, put it away. For some people, a week or so is enough. For others, it could be a month or months.

However it long it takes for you, let it cool off. Let yourself forget parts, including that paragraph you slaved over and the one you thought was sheer brilliance.

When it's cooled off and you open the file again, you'll be reading it with completely new eyes, almost as if someone else had written the piece. This is one part of writing I love: inevitably, I do find parts I forgot I'd written (but there they are!) and I might even love them.

And sure, I'll find glaring problems as well: clunky prose, lame character motivations, sagging conflict, and more. But because I'm no longer so emotionally tied to the work, two great things happen:

1) I can see clearly where it needs improvement.

2) I can make big revisions without wanting to sit in a corner and cry while eating a dozen chocolate-chip cookies.

What do you do while a piece is resting, cooling off? You write something else.

After you've come back to the old piece and made whatever revisions you can, you're still not done. Send it out to other people, trusted beta readers who will see more ways to change (and improve!) your work.

Time is certainly a frustrating element of being a writer. During the submission process we wait for rejections and requests. If we're lucky, we wait on a contract and editorial notes. We wait on press dates and more.

Don't let all of that make you rush things. Take your time early on. Create a fantastic piece.

If you rush things, you'll submit sub-par work. And the end result: you won't have the opportunity of pulling your hair out while waiting for your release date.

Time can most definitely be your friend.