Blowing it up; How Not to End Your Story

By Josi S. Kilpack

Over the years I've done several elementary school visits where I talk to the kids about writing. During these visits I have the class help me write a story. I start with characters, since no matter the plot, every story is about somebody who grows through the course of the story. We then move onto plot, since every story is about something that happens to that somebody, then causing the growth that is so essential. Once we have those two main points in place, we add the antagonist, the person that makes things hard for our main character, which leads to conflicts; ways in which the antagonist gets in the way of our main character getting what they want. Seeing as how I'm doing this with eight year olds, our stories usually go like this:

Kyra enters a jump rope competition that she wins every year. The new girl in school, Sasha, won the competition in her old school every year. Sasha cuts Kyra's jump rope, Sasha is better than Kyra, Sasha spreads mean rumors about Kyra to the school hoping Kyra will skip the competition. Kyra, however has grown through these challenges and she shows up to the competition despite everything Sasha has done to thwart her.

At this point we face the climax--critical mass for the story. What happens next? The climax needs to be intense and important and a worthy challenge for Kyra to overcome.

This is where the bombs come in.

Why bombs? Because the fact is that any story can end with an explosion that simply makes everything disappear--albeit dramatically. Take Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth doesn't need to admit she's in love with Mr. Darcy and has let her pride blind her for all this time. She doesn't need to suffer the embarrassment of her sister's marriage--everyone in the book can just blow up due to some cosmic thing that won't be figured out for another hundred years. Harry Potter--same thing. He doesn't have to fight Voldemort, he doesn't have to save the world from evil, they can all just explode via a spell gone horribly wrong. And Kyra doesn't have to face her nemesis at the jump rope competition, the boiler room can simply explode beneath the gym floor, obliterating all sign of character, plot, and conflict. Over. Done. The End.

Of course, none of us would read books if they all ended this way, but the point is they CAN end this way. It provides climax and conclusion in one felled swoop. However, it's rarely the right way to do it. The reason I use this example at my school visit is first, because all the boys that stopped paying attention when we mentioned jump rope, are now paying attention again, and second, because all writer's need the challenge to come up with something better--something satisfying, something fair, something more creative than explosives that fits their story, shows the character growth and allows the reader to put down the book without screaming obscenities at it.

While climax-conclusion is a very basic lesson in writing, as writers we too face dark days of our own that have nothing to do with elements of fiction. We are the main character in our story, the plot is laid out behind us more often than before us and we look back and marvel at how long it's taken to get here and the conflicts we've overcome.

And then we face a dark day. A day we thought was behind us, a day we didn't expect.

Your dark day might be a rejection, it might be a family member's snide remark about us choosing our writing over our children, it might be a negative review, a royalty check we expected to receive but didn't get because we had too many returns, it might be the story we just can't figure out an ending too. Wherever we are in our writing, there are dark days ahead and it's these days when we start thinking of the ultimate climactic conclusion to our writing days--a figurative explosion which is actually the opposite, an implosion of all we've worked for; where we throw our hands in the air and give up. This is especially tempting when the dark days have compiled. It's not just a rejection, it's the FIFTEENTH rejection. It's not just a snide comment, it's the NEXT snide comment after years of them. It's the SECOND bad review this week, and it was a royalty check we really needed because our book expense account is in the red.

It's hard to see the silver lining when the clouds get this thick and we find ourselves wondering what else we could do with our time, our talents, our passions; certainly we could redirect them to something else--something that would surely be more enjoyable than this.

This is the point that 80% of would-be-published-authors implode. They've had too many dark days and they can't see their way through anymore. They don't WANT this in their life anymore. And this isn't necessarily the wrong choice--for them. The question you have to ask yourself when you're the one facing the darkness, is it the right choice for you?

I will submit that there is not a single writer anywhere that does not consider the implosion on numerous occasions. I would submit that most published authors have faced weeks worth of bad weather, hoping and praying for sunshine without knowing if they'll see it again. I would submit that the fact you are facing dark days is similar to the conflicts you give to your characters. Will you press forward and be stronger for it in the end? Will you learn something here that will make the future easier to handle? Will you look for the joy of your writing even if it means digging in the dirt until your fingers bleed?

Each time I face a new dark day I have to go through this all over again--is it worth it? Do I want it? Can I keep going? So far, I can, but I know many people that are better writers than I am that finally determined they couldn't. I would like to offer an flashlight to anyone that feels suffocated by the darkness. If you've ever read by flashlight you know that it only illuminates a few words at a time, and you have to keep moving it as you go. If it all feels too big, if you're overwhelmed, and undernourished and questioning your efforts, just look at a few words at a time, and keep moving. Better days are ahead, imploding is not the only solution, and if writing is truly a part of who you are you won't be whole without it.

No matter the story, it's about somebody who grows through the course of the story. Be the hero in your own book and conquer.

Language Links and Helps

by Annette Lyon

A comment by Angela Michelle on one of my recent posts inspired me to post links to some great blogs that help with punctuation, grammar, and other English-language questions.

First off is the one I looked up after she pointed me toward it: Apostrophe Catastrophes (Great minds think alike; that was my post title!) After seeing enough funny wrong examples, you'll get more confident in using apostrophes correctly in your work.

Same goes with this humorous blog. It pokes good fun at misused quotation marks. I got plenty of laughs seeing signs where something very different than what is meant is implied by rogue quotation marks. The blog is appropriately called The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

Now for a great resource: If you're unsure about a grammar, punctuation, or usage issue, consult Grammar Girl. She covers just about everything. (Her latest topic: misuse of the phrase, "begs the question." Bet you didn't even know that was an issue!) Subscribe to her newsletter, listen to her podcasts, and take her online challenge (a brief quiz). She's even got a new book out.

Not long ago, I stumbled upon another site that was not only educational, but it was great fun for word nerds like yours truly: Common Errors in English. I could spend all day surfing that site. Bookmark it; you'll want to go back to look things up when you're unsure. The man behind the site, Paul Brians, now has a book out by the same name.

If you're a total word nerd (celebrate with me!), you'll want to look into buying the Oxford English Dictionary (known as the OED) either on CD or by subscribing to it online. It's the most comprehensive dictionary in the English language and a boon to any writer's arsenal.

(Read about how it came to be in this book. The dictionary, a couple dozen volumes in length, is a truly remarkable feat.)

I rely on the OED to verify when words came into use (especially helpful with historical writing) by checking the printed quotes in a citation, which include the earliest known published usage of each word. You can also discover the history behind words, which has been loads of fun. The CD version gives you a word of the day whenever you start it up. (Mine today: familiarism.)

And remember, you can always e-mail a question to the editors here, and we'll post an answer. Find the address at the top right.

Apostrophe Catastrophes

by Annette Lyon

My latest editorial peeve: possessives that . . . aren't.

You know the kind of thing I'm talking about:

"Banana's were on sale."

"We visited the Smith's."

"How many book's have you read?"

ACK! Each of those are trying to be plural, meaning more than one. Try again:

Bananas

Smiths

Books

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Why no apostrophe? Because the bananas don't own anything. Neither do the group of people with Smith as their the last name. And what exactly do the books own? Nothing, at least, not in that sentence.

A lot of writers should have their apostrophe allotment removed, the way they abuse them. Plain old plural doesn't take one of those curly marks. You just add an S.

Instead, use apostrophes to show ownership:

Heather's

Josi's

Lu Ann's

If you want to discuss something the book possesses, then you'd say:

The book's cover is blue.

Or if the Smiths (there are several of them, so no apostrophe) own something, you could say:

The Smiths' car broke down.

Note that in this case, it's both plural (several people named Smith, such as an entire family) and possessive (they own the car). So you add the S and then the apostrophe.

Don't let possessive pronouns trip you up. Even though they're possessive, you never add an apostrophe. Of course, the only pronoun that ever really causes trouble in this area is ITS (being mistaken for its friend, IT'S, which means IT IS).

But you wouldn't say M'Y or HE'R or THEI'R, so you wouldn't say IT'S when you mean the thing owns something, as in, "the book and ITS ugly cover."

To keep it simple, I won't go into the debate about whether to add "es" to names for plurals when they already end with "s" (Dickens/Dickenses) or how you deal with possessives there (Dickens'/Dickenses'). That's another post.

For now, have mercy on your reader.

Ask yourself:

Do I mean more than one thing?
If yes, use JUST an S:

• the books were stacked
• the houses along the street
• the Smiths came to the party
• the tables were round

Do you mean the thing owns something else?

If yes, use an apostrophe and an S:

• the book's publisher
• the house's front yard
• the Smiths' baby
• the table's shape

Easy as pie. Or pies. Or as yummy as the pie's filling. Or something.

Just keep those apostrophes in check. Don't let them out of their cage unless they behave.

Drawing From Personal Experience

At a conference I attended in my early years as a writer, I heard an author say that when people chose to become writers, they chose to be witnesses to life rather than participants in life. He said that writers observe the world around them and silently record what they see. He said that by choosing writing, they choose to live outside of the world--in a sense.

I agree and disagree with this author. I am a chronic eavesdropper. I love to hear dialogue play out around me. I love to watch people interact together. I do watch life; I do silently record the events happening around me. Yet, I also participate. I do not allow the world to move around me and without me. In the name of research, I've learned all kinds of new things and traveled to all sorts of new places. I definitely participate in life. And much of that real life I live finds it way into my novels.

But how much real-life experience is too much in a novel?

They say to write what you know and I believe that sometimes writing your own personal experiences can be therapeutic, but sometimes novelizing your personal life can pose a problem. They say most first novels are autobiographical. If this is the case with your work in progress (and before hanging your laundry in front of the world) you should ask yourself some questions:

• Are you using information that is sensitive to someone else?
• Are you using information that may be the intellectual property of someone else?
• Will this come back and bite you in the backside at a later date?
• Does your personal story have significance to anyone outside your personal family (who is your audience)?

If a novel involves characters based on real people, you should contact those people and get permission to use their story. The last thing an author needs is to have their friends reading about themselves in a novel. This is a great way to lose friends and strain relationships among family members. If you don't want to ask for permission, you'd better change the character enough to not have it become a liability.

If the story or idea for the story is based on someone else's experience, you may want to get written consent to utilize the story rather than face a lawsuit later on. There are all sorts of different circumstances for this, but for the most part, there isn't a reason not receive permission beforehand in writing (always in writing).

Your story is interesting to you, but will it be to someone else? Why will readers want to willingly hand over their hard earned dollars on your book? What will they get from the story when they close the book?

I'd hate to think that authors might not live life, but merely be content to record it. But I'd also hate to think that a writer wrote a reality too closely lived. Be sure to really consider your motivation for writing personal experiences and make sure not to alienate the people you love in the process.

BEFORE you submit

by Heather Moore

In follow-up to Annette's submission advice yesterday, I'd like to share a few things that I've done BEFORE submitting.

When I research an agent or publisher, these are the steps I take:
1. I contact a few of the authors and ask how their experience was. I can usually find email addresses or websites by googling their names and books.
2. I see if the company has a viable website with proper contact information.
3. I check their ratings on Preditors and Editors and Writers Beware
4. If they are a small press, I ask them about their wholesale company or distributor.
5. I ask for a list of their recent books published (or recent books "sold" if it's an agent). I contact a few of those authors.

I learned this the hard way. Several years ago, I received a publishing contract from Harris Literary. I was so excited! I signed it and was ready to mail it back. Then something nagged at the back of my mind and I decided to do a little research--more than I had before. I contacted some of their authors and all of the ones that wrote back gave me the same feedback. Do NOT go with this publisher. One was even in a lawsuit situation with them.

Last year I was contacted by an agent who used an email that I don't normally query with. So I was a little surprised. Upon further investigation, I found that it was a scam artist. Here is the full story.

Also, for a list of some red flags, go here.

Please do your research, and do it thoroughly before submitting to an unknown.

Making Contact

by Annette Lyon

In response to some reader questions I've had recently, here's a basic refresher course on how to contact editors or agents about your work.

For more in-depth information, dig around. Find books and blogs about it. Lots of literary agents have great information about these things.

Literary agent Nathan Bransford's blog is worth looking at. (Be sure to check out his sidebar, which has links to posts about manuscript formatting, query letters, and much more.)

Another is the famous (and, alas, now retired) Miss Snark. Search for "query letters" or any number of other topics on her blog, and you'll find a ton of great information straight from the horse's mouth.

When communicating with editors and agents, the basic rule of thumb is simple: Know what's expected, and deliver it. In even simpler terms: be professional.

Some basic dos and don'ts:

Dos

• Use white bond paper.
• Print on one side.
• Keep your query letter to one page. Technically you can go over, but the longer it is, the less chance the whole thing will be read.
• Use the editor/agent's name and spell it correctly.
• Get others to read your letter and offer feedback.
• Make sure your personality and voice shine through. This is the editor's/agent's first introduction to you and how you write. Don't hide your voice.
• Proofread your letter.
• Proofread your letter.
• Proofread it again.
• Include whatever the particular publisher or agency requests. If they ask for three chapters, give 'em that. If they ask for a synopsis, yep. Give 'em a synopsis. Or a SASE (self-addressed, stamped envelope). Whatever they ask for.
• On your SASE, be sure to include stamps rather than a metered sticker, which doesn't work in all areas if it's being mailed back after the date on it.
• If your work has been requested, say so on the outside of the envelope. That way you avoid being dumped into the slush pile.
• If you met the editor/agent at a conference, feel free to mention it to help jog their memory. (Unless you were the one who spilled ketchup on them. Then jogging their memory might not be in your best interest.)
• Mention what your book is about, how long it is, and what genre it fits into.

Don't

• Use colored paper or perfume or send trinkets or do anything else "cute." Sure you'll stand out, but not in a good way.
• Flaunt the publisher/agency guidelines because you think you're special. (If they don't take e-queries, they won't take yours. If they want something between 70,000 and 100,000 words, don't send something that's 150,000.)
• Criticize or judge the publisher, agent, or the industry.
• Or offer suggestions for the same.
• Insist that your book is going to make them millions of dollars and that you're the next Brown/Rowling/Grisham/fill in the blank.
• Include biographical information that isn't relevant. Unless you're writing about pit bulls, the fact that you own one is irrelevant. If this is your first attempt, no need to mention that, either. It might work against you to say so.
• Submit something that isn't right for the publisher/agent. If you've done your homework, you'll know what kinds of things they're looking for. You may have written the best cookbook ever, but sending it to someone who works only with speculative fiction and romance is useless.

Hacking out the Dead Wood

by Annette Lyon

First off, a caveat:

What I'm about to talk about is something you shouldn't worry about until you reach the revision stage.

Don't get anxious over this kind of thing while you're drafting, or you'll drive yourself loony trying to make a perfectly clean first draft. Write that first version with as much dead wood as flows from your fingertips; you can always fix it later. Let that creative side have free rein.

For that matter, chopping out dead wood in a manuscript is something you deal with after the first or second revision. Really, don't stress about this stuff until you're at the clean-up stage, tightening things and spit-polishing so you really shine.

But do take the time for that spit polish. If you watch out for these kinds of things before you actually submit, your work will read smoother. You'll get your point across easier and more effectively. Your reader (potential editor/agent) will be more likely to notice your story, your voice, yes, even your brilliance, when the clumsy stuff is out of the way.

It's smooth writing that readers slip into without even realizing it.

So with all that said, here we go:

Most "dead wood" consists of extra words, padding that just isn't pulling any weight or adding anything to a sentence.

Sometimes it shows up as a redundancy, such as, "true fact," "fictional novel," or "famous celebrity." Or something else that's obvious, like the "shoe on his foot" or "the smile on her face." (Where else would the shoe or smile be? If the shoe is on his ear, that is worth mentioning.)

In those cases, cut the redundancy. In many cases, you'll be able to find simpler ways of saying the same thing to get the message across better.

For example, a good chunk of the time, things like "to go to" can be simplified or cut altogether.

Instead of: I started to go to school at NYU.

Try:

I started school at NYU.
I went to NYU.

Or several other variations that are more precise.

Another dead wood issue I see a lot of is "would" in sentences where it doesn't belong. A lot of times, "would" adds even more words so the sentence will make sense (like "that"), so you end up with significant meaningless padding.

Instead of: We would go to the movies every weekend.
Try: We went to the movies every weekend.

Instead of: If asked, I would tell people that I didn’t like pickles.
Try: If asked, I said I didn’t like pickles.

In the following example, we have a was -ing verb (note that on your "red flag" list of dead wood) as well as a "that":

Instead of: As I was looking for a pair of shoes that was comfortable
Try: As I looked for a pair of comfortable shoes

Here's another was -ing/that sentence. Note how it's has two uses of "was."
Instead of: I was wanting something that was unknown to me.
Try: I wanted something unknown to me.

Start and began are two more words that get thrown in a lot:

Instead of: She began describing the kinds of dessert she likes.
Try: She described the kinds of dessert she likes.

Here are more dead wood examples. As you read each one, see if you can rewrite each one in your head to make it cleaner before you read my rewrite.

Keep in mind that there is no right answer here. You might come up with a better way to cut the dead wood than I did.

Dead wood: There were two or three coaches who were eyeing me as a player for their teams.
Cleaned up: Two or three coaches eyed me as a recruit.

Dead wood: throughout this time
Cleaned up: now

Dead wood: the manner in which
Cleaned up: the way

Dead wood: I wasn’t successful in putting
Cleaned up: I couldn’t put

Dead wood: was the result of being embarrassed
Cleaned up: was from embarrassment

Dead wood: began to be
Cleaned up: became

Dead wood: I asked all of the questions that were troubling me
Cleaned up: I asked all the questions troubling me

Dead wood: Felt like . . . . to me.
Cleaned up: Felt like [cut “to me”]

Dead wood: Because of the love that I felt for them
Cleaned up: Because of my love for them OR Because I loved them

Dead wood: Struggled with the ability to
Cleaned up: Struggled to

Dead wood: At the time when
Cleaned up: When

Dead wood: Is going to
Cleaned up: Will

Dead wood: I wasn’t able to
Cleaned up: I couldn’t

Dead wood: throughout the duration of
Cleaned up: throughout OR during


To avoid the dead wood traps, do a search of your manuscript for words like would, was, that, start, began, there was, and any others you notice that have become "pet" words for you. (I tend to over use "just," for example. I had to cut a couple from this post!)

Try to rephrase each sentence you find, using new words that are more effective. A lot of the time, you'll be able to cut the problem words out altogether. Other times, you'll come up with powerful verbs that make a punch.

And in the end, your efforts will be obvious . . . because your readers won't notice your words.