One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #47
Dear (Agent),
How do you let go of the past when it haunts you every day? Nearly a year ago, 17-year-old Allie Collins almost drowned in a river by her family’s summer cabin. Failing to rescue her young cousin, Allie harbors her anguish and guilt, carrying them with her into a lonely existence. Forced to return to the cabin, Allie struggles with her grief as well as her complicated family dynamics. She is intrigued when she hears the rumor of how a family mysteriously died some years ago, not far from where her own tragedy occurred. Feeling strangely connected to the story, Allie sets out to discover the truth behind the secrecy. Meanwhile, Allie meets Damien, a local rebel with a shielded past. Drawn by Damien’s uncanny ability to help Allie share her darkest emotions, she embraces this relationship with little heed to the warnings from her friends and family. By the time Allie unearths the secrets of Damien’s youth, she discovers just how intricately they are connected, and is caught in a dangerous battle that threatens her life and those she loves.
Hidden Pines is a contemporary young adult novel that depicts a journey between heartbreak and healing, while testing friendship, loyalty, and love. My experience working with youth as a Recreational Therapist allows me to incorporate values and relevant themes that will entice young adult readers.
I look forward to sharing my 90,000 word manuscript with you. As instructed in your submission guidelines, I have included three sample chapters.
With appreciation,
(Author)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Congrats to Melanie Jacobson
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
League Of Utah Writers: Roundup 2011
In just a few weeks is Roundup 2011, presented by the League of Utah Writers.
All senior editors from PEG will be there conducting manuscript reviews (Lu Ann, Annette, Julie, Heather & Josi). You can see a list of presenters and visiting agents & editors here.
Kind of fun this year, international celebrity, "Rudy" will be there, sharing his inspirational story. Also, agent Evan Gregory (at Ethan Ellenberg Literary) and agent Eliza Rothstein (at Susan Golomb Literary) will be both be there, including editor Lisa Mangum from Shadow Mountain/Deseret Book.
To sign up for a pitch session with an agent or editor, or to sign up for a manuscript review with us, be sure to register soon to secure your spot here.
All senior editors from PEG will be there conducting manuscript reviews (Lu Ann, Annette, Julie, Heather & Josi). You can see a list of presenters and visiting agents & editors here.
Kind of fun this year, international celebrity, "Rudy" will be there, sharing his inspirational story. Also, agent Evan Gregory (at Ethan Ellenberg Literary) and agent Eliza Rothstein (at Susan Golomb Literary) will be both be there, including editor Lisa Mangum from Shadow Mountain/Deseret Book.
To sign up for a pitch session with an agent or editor, or to sign up for a manuscript review with us, be sure to register soon to secure your spot here.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
New book by Annette Lyon
We are happy to announce book releases here by our blog followers. Please let us know when you have a new release!
Congrats to Annette Lyon, senior editor for PEG. Her latest middle grade fantasy, The Golden Cup of Kardak, is now available for Kindle on Amazon.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday Mania--First Page
One of our readers has submitted a first page for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #46
“Well, it’s not much, is it?”
The landlord’s forehead wrinkled up like crumpled paper. “I give you the deal of a lifetime, you tell me ‘not much?’”
Soren scratched his shoulder where the strap of his satchel had begun to rub through his thin shirt. His eyes scanned the building before him again. It looked like the innards of a sandwich squashed between two chunks of bread, pressed so close to the neighboring buildings that he doubted he could squeeze between the peeling old walls without turning sideways. A layer of grime coated the front windows and the door sagged pitifully crooked on its hinges. He thought the building might have been all white at one time, but now it displayed bare, muddy-looking brick with streaks of peeling gray and only specks of remaining white. An uneven patch of rough boards had been nailed just below one front window and Soren forced his eyes to the roof before he could think about a possibly gaping hole in the wall. The shingles were either missing or curling up on themselves like dead spiders; he winced at the prospect of placing buckets around the place to catch leaks. The thing did have two floors, but they couldn’t possibly amount to more than four rooms total, and only if two of those were bathrooms the size of broom-closets.
“It is affordable,” he admitted. He pursed his lips. “But it’s still not much.”
The landlord harrumphed. “This my only business vacancy. You don’t like? Go pay a fortune at someplace ‘much.’”
Soren chewed on his lip for a few seconds. He thought this would be an appropriate time to weigh his options, but found there was nothing he could put on the opposite side of the scale—the building before him really was the only thing he’d found that he could pay for. What had happened to the time when people could pay the same price for ten times the quality?
Of course, the answer to that was simple—the invasion had happened.
He sighed and held a hand out. “I’ll take it.”
With another harrumph, the landlord slapped a rusty key into his palm.
Critique Archive #46
“Well, it’s not much, is it?”
The landlord’s forehead wrinkled up like crumpled paper. “I give you the deal of a lifetime, you tell me ‘not much?’”
Soren scratched his shoulder where the strap of his satchel had begun to rub through his thin shirt. His eyes scanned the building before him again. It looked like the innards of a sandwich squashed between two chunks of bread, pressed so close to the neighboring buildings that he doubted he could squeeze between the peeling old walls without turning sideways. A layer of grime coated the front windows and the door sagged pitifully crooked on its hinges. He thought the building might have been all white at one time, but now it displayed bare, muddy-looking brick with streaks of peeling gray and only specks of remaining white. An uneven patch of rough boards had been nailed just below one front window and Soren forced his eyes to the roof before he could think about a possibly gaping hole in the wall. The shingles were either missing or curling up on themselves like dead spiders; he winced at the prospect of placing buckets around the place to catch leaks. The thing did have two floors, but they couldn’t possibly amount to more than four rooms total, and only if two of those were bathrooms the size of broom-closets.
“It is affordable,” he admitted. He pursed his lips. “But it’s still not much.”
The landlord harrumphed. “This my only business vacancy. You don’t like? Go pay a fortune at someplace ‘much.’”
Soren chewed on his lip for a few seconds. He thought this would be an appropriate time to weigh his options, but found there was nothing he could put on the opposite side of the scale—the building before him really was the only thing he’d found that he could pay for. What had happened to the time when people could pay the same price for ten times the quality?
Of course, the answer to that was simple—the invasion had happened.
He sighed and held a hand out. “I’ll take it.”
With another harrumph, the landlord slapped a rusty key into his palm.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
New Guide for Adolescent Literature
Many of us have been following Lu Ann Staheli's book reviews for years. This week, her new Guide to Adolescent literature has been released, called: Books, Books, and More Books: A Parent and Teacher's Guide to Adolescent Literature.
Congrats to our own PEG senior editor, Lu Ann!
If any of our blog followers have a book release, we are happy to announce it here.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday Mania--Query Letter
One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #45
Dear Agent,
Why would a boy, who doesn't believe in magic, risk his life for a girl who exists only inside a mirror?
Ten Wicket, a high school outcast, bonds with a girl named, September Snow, who eventually goes on to become a Hollywood superstar. Mysteriously, once the spotlight falls on her, she will no longer have anything to do with him. While searching for answers, he discovers that the line between what's real and what's not, might have a few surprising jogs in it.
Mysterious reflections, powerful enemies, a mythical muse, a magic necklace and trips to a futuristic world are just a few of the twists that tie knots in Ten's pragmatic, left brain. His cynicism and cloaked vulnerability, courtesy of a rocky relationship with his parents and a cheating ex-girlfriend, ironically make Ten an easy mark for another complicated love entanglement. Along the way, the secret behind his and September's relationship, the girl in the mirror, dangers that await, and the answer to who Ten Wicket really is, begins to unravel.
WICKET, a YA, 150,000-word, fantasy-fiction novel (first in a series) weaves together mystery, adventure, suspense, fantasy, and romance cut in the shape of a triangle. At times, you will hate the characters, at times, you will love them. In every character, you will see yourself. It is, of course, a story about mirrors, but as with Ten, the magic really begins when looking beyond the reflection.
Thank you,
AUTHOR
Critique Archive #45
Dear Agent,
Why would a boy, who doesn't believe in magic, risk his life for a girl who exists only inside a mirror?
Ten Wicket, a high school outcast, bonds with a girl named, September Snow, who eventually goes on to become a Hollywood superstar. Mysteriously, once the spotlight falls on her, she will no longer have anything to do with him. While searching for answers, he discovers that the line between what's real and what's not, might have a few surprising jogs in it.
Mysterious reflections, powerful enemies, a mythical muse, a magic necklace and trips to a futuristic world are just a few of the twists that tie knots in Ten's pragmatic, left brain. His cynicism and cloaked vulnerability, courtesy of a rocky relationship with his parents and a cheating ex-girlfriend, ironically make Ten an easy mark for another complicated love entanglement. Along the way, the secret behind his and September's relationship, the girl in the mirror, dangers that await, and the answer to who Ten Wicket really is, begins to unravel.
WICKET, a YA, 150,000-word, fantasy-fiction novel (first in a series) weaves together mystery, adventure, suspense, fantasy, and romance cut in the shape of a triangle. At times, you will hate the characters, at times, you will love them. In every character, you will see yourself. It is, of course, a story about mirrors, but as with Ten, the magic really begins when looking beyond the reflection.
Thank you,
AUTHOR
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