One of our readers submitted a query letter. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.
Critique Archive 0018:
Dear Ms. XXXXX,
I've chosen to contact you due to your representation of an author whose work I truly enjoy, XXXXX. I thought you might be interested in my 84,000 word YA manuscript, THE REFUGE. It is the first installment of a planned trilogy.
When Narissa discovers she's been shifted to an alternate dimension, she resolves to locate the elusive gate that links back to her world. As she begins her search, Narissa finds herself the object of unwanted attention and gossip, which escalates as people begin to notice the way she's captured the interest of one of their leaders—prickly, reclusive Daman. It is only after deciding her new friendships are worth abandoning her quest to return home that she discovers how to leave. Will she cling to the life she craves or choose to return to the responsibilities of caring for her younger sister?
I would love the opportunity to send sample chapters, or the entire manuscript, for your consideration. I've included a SASE for your convenience. Thank you for your time and attention, I look forward to hearing from you.
P.S. As a professional courtesy, I'd like to let you know I'm also querying two other agents.