One of our readers submitted a query letter. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.
Critique Archive 0019:
Dear Mr. XXXXX,
I have contacted you due to your representation of authors whose work I admire, XXXXX and XXXXX. I thought you might be interested in my 90,000 word Fantasy manuscript, THE THORN. I believe there is potential to serialize the characters in a trilogy.
Under the twin blue suns, Azure and Aqua, war rages between the tribes of Gideon, Daniel, and Uzzah. Jonathan son of Samuel, the last living Heir to the Throne of Daniel, finds himself staging an opportunistic rescue of his childhood friend Eli, Uzzahite Warrior and a Temple Priest, from a small band of Gideonite soldiers. After the swift skirmish has ended, a young Gideonite soldier by the name of Pekah joins Jonathan in the cause of the Tribe of Daniel, and discovers the truth about the true motives of the Gideonite Emperor. Pekah's eyes are opened, and he becomes the instrument by which the Three Brothers are united once again. Jonathan, Eli, and Pekah work together to keep General Rezon of Gideon from accomplishing his evil designs -- the total annihilation of the other two tribes. As peace returns to their lands, Pekah finds himself a changed man, and with a new found love by his side, they watch together as the promised sign of a special birth appears in the heavens above Gan. Worlds away, "The One Who Would Suffer" has been born.
I would be pleased to send the entire manuscript (or just sample chapters if you would prefer), for your consideration. I have included a SASE for your convenience. Thank you in advance for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.