One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #51
Dear [Agent],
300 years ago Ciara Lovel refused to marry Giovanni Berlusconi to be with another man.
Giovanni, now known as Charley Bersley, wants her all the same after three long centuries. Relentlessly he seeks to get back at Ciara for not wanting him the same way he lusts after her.
Ciara is a talented violinist in this life. She desperately tries to find work after she took a break from playing professionally seven years ago. Though, performing is her calling. But after she witnessed the death of her father and her ex-agent Charley Bersley sexually abused her, an involuntary break was necessary.
Finally offered an arrangement in her birth city Vienna, Ciara flies to Austria and almost immediately after her arrival is sucked into a web of lies and mysterious incidences.
Someone breaks into her hotel room, sabotages her newfound career as a professional violinist, and attempts to drive her off the road. Ciara cannot get rid of the feeling that someone has deliberately been trying to lure her to Vienna and that she was now exactly where they wanted her to be.
To complicate matters, she is unwillingly attracted to the producer of the arrangement. A gorgeous subject of the male species, named Raphael O’Malley. She feels as if she knows him intimately, but laughs at her feelings because she doesn’t believe in stupid things like karma, fate and that kind of stuff.
Ciara’s own past is going to prove her wrong as she faces the product of the man that has been unknowingly stalking her for the past 300 years. She must protect her family from harm and this time around, keep the one man she has ever loved alive.
I read in Writer’s Digest that you’re interested in paranormal romance. BUTTERFLY is my 100,000 word debut novel and I think that it might interest you.
I’m a violinist and was born in Vienna, Austria. Currently, I’m living in Salt Lake City and working on my next novel.
I’d be glad to send you my complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
[Author]
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday Mania--Query Letter
One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #50
Dear [Agent],
Seventeen-year-old Julienne White arrives in the town of Luray on a stretcher. At the hospital, she discovers the bone-deep gash in her leg is gone. Dresden, the boy who saved her from the horrific car accident, claims she was never hurt. She can’t decide if she’s crazy or he’s hiding something.
Julienne is afraid to fall in love and struggles with her increasing feelings for Dresden. When Dresden keeps materializing out of nowhere to save Julienne’s life, she discovers that he has unique powers. She has no idea that Dresden is part of The Trinity, a trio that is destined to guard her from Zamir.
Zamir is stealing powers from people like Dresden and turning everyone into his slaves by giving them magical necklaces that promise the power they’ve always wanted, but their powers come at a price, instead, they become his slaves.
A world unknown is opened up to Julienne when she finds that she’s the only one who can yield the Silvian necklace, a necklace that can countermand the spell that keeps Zamir from dying. Everything rests on her shoulders.
TRINITY is the first of a YA Fantasy Romance trilogy. The first completed novel of 82,000 words is available for your review.
Critique Archive #50
Dear [Agent],
Seventeen-year-old Julienne White arrives in the town of Luray on a stretcher. At the hospital, she discovers the bone-deep gash in her leg is gone. Dresden, the boy who saved her from the horrific car accident, claims she was never hurt. She can’t decide if she’s crazy or he’s hiding something.
Julienne is afraid to fall in love and struggles with her increasing feelings for Dresden. When Dresden keeps materializing out of nowhere to save Julienne’s life, she discovers that he has unique powers. She has no idea that Dresden is part of The Trinity, a trio that is destined to guard her from Zamir.
Zamir is stealing powers from people like Dresden and turning everyone into his slaves by giving them magical necklaces that promise the power they’ve always wanted, but their powers come at a price, instead, they become his slaves.
A world unknown is opened up to Julienne when she finds that she’s the only one who can yield the Silvian necklace, a necklace that can countermand the spell that keeps Zamir from dying. Everything rests on her shoulders.
TRINITY is the first of a YA Fantasy Romance trilogy. The first completed novel of 82,000 words is available for your review.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday Mania--Query Letter
One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #49
Dear [AGENT]:
She loves him, but he is in love with a ghost.
In Shadows, a young adult paranormal romance, high school senior Samantha Bell is falling hard for her best friend, Mark Baxter, but complications from his past begin to haunt them as Mark’s former girlfriend, Kate Duncan, appears. Oh, and Kate is dead.
Sam (Samantha) soon experiences the frustration in dealing with a spurned ghost who can appear at any time and interrupt any moment, but then the real dilemma unfolds.
Sam learns that Kate, who died in the mid-eighteen hundreds, was cursed by someone she once trusted. Kate is stuck in the mortal realm, never to cross over and be at rest, but she was promised that her true love will die and join her before he turns nineteen. Kate thought this could never happen since the living can’t even see her, let alone love her—until she met Mark who can do both. Mark will turn nineteen next year.
Now Sam, jealous of a freaking ghost, is forced to endure the heartbreak of doomed love but keep Mark in the dark about his impending demise. She must do this as she juggles school, friends and family who can’t see the irritating Kate, and figure out why an attractive guy named Peter is stalking her.
When Sam learns Peter is also a ghost and is trying to protect her, Sam’s world shifts even more as the isolated situation with Kate opens up into something Sam isn’t sure she wants to be a part of; a world where ghosts aren’t just harmless specters who slam doors and throw dishes.
I believe Shadows, completed at 78,000 words, would be a good fit for you and I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and consideration.
[AUTHOR]
Critique Archive #49
Dear [AGENT]:
She loves him, but he is in love with a ghost.
In Shadows, a young adult paranormal romance, high school senior Samantha Bell is falling hard for her best friend, Mark Baxter, but complications from his past begin to haunt them as Mark’s former girlfriend, Kate Duncan, appears. Oh, and Kate is dead.
Sam (Samantha) soon experiences the frustration in dealing with a spurned ghost who can appear at any time and interrupt any moment, but then the real dilemma unfolds.
Sam learns that Kate, who died in the mid-eighteen hundreds, was cursed by someone she once trusted. Kate is stuck in the mortal realm, never to cross over and be at rest, but she was promised that her true love will die and join her before he turns nineteen. Kate thought this could never happen since the living can’t even see her, let alone love her—until she met Mark who can do both. Mark will turn nineteen next year.
Now Sam, jealous of a freaking ghost, is forced to endure the heartbreak of doomed love but keep Mark in the dark about his impending demise. She must do this as she juggles school, friends and family who can’t see the irritating Kate, and figure out why an attractive guy named Peter is stalking her.
When Sam learns Peter is also a ghost and is trying to protect her, Sam’s world shifts even more as the isolated situation with Kate opens up into something Sam isn’t sure she wants to be a part of; a world where ghosts aren’t just harmless specters who slam doors and throw dishes.
I believe Shadows, completed at 78,000 words, would be a good fit for you and I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time and consideration.
[AUTHOR]
Monday, November 7, 2011
Monday Mania--Query Letter
One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #48
Dear AGENT,
Abbey Long believes her only option after shooting her mother’s boyfriend is to run away. Not only does she run away from home, her memories, and the past—but from the law as well. What Abbey doesn’t know, is she’s a schizophrenic, who hears and sees what others do not. Making her way from town to town, Abbey travels further from help and deeper into a false reality.
Inside Abbey’s troubled mind, four distinct voices are guiding her to “the real world,” a place as mysterious as Abbey's mental condition. Abbey believes the only person who will know where and what it might be is her father. After three days of travelling with extreme paranoia, Abbey truly begins to question her decisions and the companions which dwell within her head, but by then, “the real world” is just around the corner.
Abbey shows up on her father’s doorstep, only to discover that he isn’t home, and hasn’t been for some time. Then, completing Abbey’s delusion, it suddenly all makes sense. “The real world” is death, to join her father would mean to use the very gun that began the journey. A choice will have to be made, one that will change her life forever.
VOICES UNSPOKEN, my first novel, is an edgy young adult novel complete at 43,000 words.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
AUTHOR
Critique Archive #48
Dear AGENT,
Abbey Long believes her only option after shooting her mother’s boyfriend is to run away. Not only does she run away from home, her memories, and the past—but from the law as well. What Abbey doesn’t know, is she’s a schizophrenic, who hears and sees what others do not. Making her way from town to town, Abbey travels further from help and deeper into a false reality.
Inside Abbey’s troubled mind, four distinct voices are guiding her to “the real world,” a place as mysterious as Abbey's mental condition. Abbey believes the only person who will know where and what it might be is her father. After three days of travelling with extreme paranoia, Abbey truly begins to question her decisions and the companions which dwell within her head, but by then, “the real world” is just around the corner.
Abbey shows up on her father’s doorstep, only to discover that he isn’t home, and hasn’t been for some time. Then, completing Abbey’s delusion, it suddenly all makes sense. “The real world” is death, to join her father would mean to use the very gun that began the journey. A choice will have to be made, one that will change her life forever.
VOICES UNSPOKEN, my first novel, is an edgy young adult novel complete at 43,000 words.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
AUTHOR
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Write-A-Thon Winners!
What a fabulous night! We hope that you were all able to get over some hurdles wherever you were in your manuscripts. We had 28 writers participate; some were starting page 1, and others were well into their books. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you block out a section of time and hyper-focus.
And even double fabulous, our combined word count for the night was: 110,448 words
We’re excited to announce the winners . . .
Word Count Winner: Michael Young @ 9,424
(this is a few hundred words more than last year’s winner, so Michael’s 9,424 is the new all-time high)
*Michael wins either the $50 Amazon Gift Card or 30 page edit. Congrats, Michael! Amazing!
2nd Place Word Count Winner: Heather Justesen @ 9,059
*Congrats, Heather! You win a signed copy of Pumpkin Roll by Josi Kilpack (either audio or paperback, your choice)
Random Winner #1: magicalbookworm @ 2776 words
*magicalbookworm wins a signed copy of Variant by Robison Wells (hardcover)
Random Winner #2: Diana @ 5,153 words
*Diana wins a signed copy of Hazzardous Universe by Julie Wright (illustrated by Kevin Wasden)
Again, huge congrats to everyone! And have a great weekend!
Winners please email Heather Moore to coordinate details: editor (at) precisioneditinggroup (dot) com
And even double fabulous, our combined word count for the night was: 110,448 words
We’re excited to announce the winners . . .
Word Count Winner: Michael Young @ 9,424
(this is a few hundred words more than last year’s winner, so Michael’s 9,424 is the new all-time high)
*Michael wins either the $50 Amazon Gift Card or 30 page edit. Congrats, Michael! Amazing!
2nd Place Word Count Winner: Heather Justesen @ 9,059
*Congrats, Heather! You win a signed copy of Pumpkin Roll by Josi Kilpack (either audio or paperback, your choice)
Random Winner #1: magicalbookworm @ 2776 words
*magicalbookworm wins a signed copy of Variant by Robison Wells (hardcover)
Random Winner #2: Diana @ 5,153 words
*Diana wins a signed copy of Hazzardous Universe by Julie Wright (illustrated by Kevin Wasden)
Again, huge congrats to everyone! And have a great weekend!
Winners please email Heather Moore to coordinate details: editor (at) precisioneditinggroup (dot) com
Friday, November 4, 2011
START NOW: Write-A-Thon
Ready? It's time to get this party started!
Here's a repeat of the rules-and-or-processes for tonight's write-a-thon:
1-Enter your starting time and starting word count in the comment section of this blog. Contest is open from 4:00 pm Friday, November 4 (MST) to Midnight (we'll accept word count submission in the comments until 12:15 am, November 5th.)
3-Write for four hours--set a timer if you need to! (You can take breaks, but track your time!)
4-When finished, come back to this blog and put your end time, end word count, and total words written in those 4 hours in the comment trail.
5-All "end time" posts must be posted by 12:15 a.m., Mountain Daylight Time (we're giving you 15 minutes to tally your numbers). To calculate your times based on where you live, go HERE and educate yourself about time zones.
6-Please be honest. You are your own time/word keeper, and we are trusting that none of our dearly beloved readers would sell their integrity for $50 or 30 pages :-) You must post a start comment AND an end comment to be eligible to win and have your words counted toward the total.
7-The winner--whoever has the most words written in their four hours--will be posted Saturday, November 5th here on the PEG blog. The winner will receive their choice of a $50 gift card to Amazon.com or 30 pages of a content edit from one of the Precision Editing Group editors ($60 value).
Ready, set, go...
Write-A-Thon TODAY!
Today at 4:00 p.m. MST, Precision Editing Group will be sponsoring our 3rd Write-a-Thon and we're inviting writers to show us how many words you can write in 4 hours! This will also be a great kick off for those of you who are doing NaNoWriMo.
The contest will open at 4:00 Mountain Daylight Time and end at midnight (You choose the best 4 hours during that period of time, or break it up and track your time). The person who writes the most words will receive their choice of a $50 Amazon.com gift card OR a 30 page content edit by one of the Precision Editing Group Editors (value $60).
Here's how it will work:
1-The Write-a-thon will officially begin at 4:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time.
2-The blog titled "Write-a-Thon Starts Now!" will post at 4:00 pm MDT--you need to enter your starting time and starting word count in the comment section of the blog when you begin.
3-Write for four hours--set a timer if you need to!
4-When finished, come back to the PEG blog and put your end time, end word count, and total words written in those 4 hours as another comment on the blog.
5-All "end time" posts must be posted by 12:15, Mountain Daylight Time (we're giving you 15 minutes to tally your numbers). To calculate your times based on where you live, go HERE and educate yourself about time zones.
6-Please be honest about your word count and use your time to write REAL words. You are your own time/word keeper and we are trusting that none of our dearly beloved readers would sell their integrity for $50 or 30 pages :-) You must have posted a start comment AND an end comment to be eligible to win either of the prizes.
7-The winner will be posted on Saturday, November 5th here on the PEG blog.
We'll also be adding up everyone's words, think we can hit 100,000 words in one night?
Feel free to spread the word to other writers (Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs), wherever they may live--send them here to read up on the specifics. This contest is open to anyone, anywhere. While the prizes are a perk, the true challenge is to see how much you can do in a four hour period of time dedicated to writing. Order pizza for the kids, turn off the phone, TIVO Letterman, and let your fingers go.
*Please ask any questions here, we'll answer them as soon as possible.
The contest will open at 4:00 Mountain Daylight Time and end at midnight (You choose the best 4 hours during that period of time, or break it up and track your time). The person who writes the most words will receive their choice of a $50 Amazon.com gift card OR a 30 page content edit by one of the Precision Editing Group Editors (value $60).
Here's how it will work:
1-The Write-a-thon will officially begin at 4:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time.
2-The blog titled "Write-a-Thon Starts Now!" will post at 4:00 pm MDT--you need to enter your starting time and starting word count in the comment section of the blog when you begin.
3-Write for four hours--set a timer if you need to!
4-When finished, come back to the PEG blog and put your end time, end word count, and total words written in those 4 hours as another comment on the blog.
5-All "end time" posts must be posted by 12:15, Mountain Daylight Time (we're giving you 15 minutes to tally your numbers). To calculate your times based on where you live, go HERE and educate yourself about time zones.
6-Please be honest about your word count and use your time to write REAL words. You are your own time/word keeper and we are trusting that none of our dearly beloved readers would sell their integrity for $50 or 30 pages :-) You must have posted a start comment AND an end comment to be eligible to win either of the prizes.
7-The winner will be posted on Saturday, November 5th here on the PEG blog.
We'll also be adding up everyone's words, think we can hit 100,000 words in one night?
Feel free to spread the word to other writers (Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs), wherever they may live--send them here to read up on the specifics. This contest is open to anyone, anywhere. While the prizes are a perk, the true challenge is to see how much you can do in a four hour period of time dedicated to writing. Order pizza for the kids, turn off the phone, TIVO Letterman, and let your fingers go.
*Please ask any questions here, we'll answer them as soon as possible.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Write-A-Thon is Tomorrow!
Join us for our 3rd Write-A-Thon TOMORROW, November 4th.
Prizes include $50 Amazon Gift Card, 30 page edit, and various bestselling novels.
All the details can be found on our previous post.
Prizes include $50 Amazon Gift Card, 30 page edit, and various bestselling novels.
All the details can be found on our previous post.
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