One of our readers has submitted a query letter for critique. Please offer only constructive comments.
Critique Archive #51
300 years ago Ciara Lovel refused to marry Giovanni Berlusconi to be with another man.
Giovanni, now known as Charley Bersley, wants her all the same after three long centuries. Relentlessly he seeks to get back at Ciara for not wanting him the same way he lusts after her.
Ciara is a talented violinist in this life. She desperately tries to find work after she took a break from playing professionally seven years ago. Though, performing is her calling. But after she witnessed the death of her father and her ex-agent Charley Bersley sexually abused her, an involuntary break was necessary.
Finally offered an arrangement in her birth city Vienna, Ciara flies to Austria and almost immediately after her arrival is sucked into a web of lies and mysterious incidences.
Someone breaks into her hotel room, sabotages her newfound career as a professional violinist, and attempts to drive her off the road. Ciara cannot get rid of the feeling that someone has deliberately been trying to lure her to Vienna and that she was now exactly where they wanted her to be.
To complicate matters, she is unwillingly attracted to the producer of the arrangement. A gorgeous subject of the male species, named Raphael O’Malley. She feels as if she knows him intimately, but laughs at her feelings because she doesn’t believe in stupid things like karma, fate and that kind of stuff.
Ciara’s own past is going to prove her wrong as she faces the product of the man that has been unknowingly stalking her for the past 300 years. She must protect her family from harm and this time around, keep the one man she has ever loved alive.
I read in Writer’s Digest that you’re interested in paranormal romance. BUTTERFLY is my 100,000 word debut novel and I think that it might interest you.
I’m a violinist and was born in Vienna, Austria. Currently, I’m living in Salt Lake City and working on my next novel.
I’d be glad to send you my complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.